Mother, 66, left ‘absolutely shattered’ after her daughter and son kill themselves within five years of each other

A grieving mother has spoken of her heartbreak after two of her children committed suicide within five years of each other.

Leanda Kelly, 66, said her heart was “absolutely shattered” by the death of her daughter Tanya in 2018, followed by that of her son Steve – who became depressed after Tanya’s death – last year.

Tanya died six years ago at the age of 44 after a long battle with an eating disorder and bipolar disorder and Steve chose to take his own life five years later at the same age – partly because he didn’t want to live beyond his beloved sister.

Leanda, from St Albans, Hertfordshire, said: ‘I now walk in these ugly shoes that no one wants to wear, shoes that I can never take off.

“I will do everything I can to help other parents no longer have to wear these shoes.

Tanya (pictured) committed suicide in 2018 at the age of 44, five years before Steve took his own life last year at the same age

‘My heart broke and it will never be mended.

“Getting people talking and letting them know it’s okay to talk and say it’s not okay is something I have to get across to everyone.

‘Don’t suffer in silence, reach out to someone, there are hands that will grab yours – mine is one of them. I give big hugs and they are free.’

Tanya took her own life on December 17, 2018 after a long battle with her mental health, including issues with an eating disorder and bipolar disorder.

Leanda, also known as Landy, said her daughter had “the most beautiful heart” but was “also sad and very broken.”

She explained: ‘Tanya was stunningly beautiful – and I’m not just saying that because she was my daughter. She used to turn heads.

‘She was funny, sassy, ​​but she was also sad and very broken.

‘She suffered from an eating disorder from a young age and was diagnosed with bipolar disorder.

‘She was still the life and soul, but her struggles became worse as she got older and she would never accept that anyone could love her. She felt she wasn’t worth it.

“My daughter came a very long way from taking her life because I kept saving her, she chose to destroy her body and I couldn’t save her.

“We saw how she took her own life over a very long process and it was terrible to see.”

Steve was hit incredibly hard by the loss of his sister and became addicted, but had been sober for four years at the time of his death.

Landy said, “I always called Stevie my bad baby. He was cheeky and mischievous – you couldn’t tell him off because he would make you laugh.

‘At fifteen he found himself in a terrible crowd and started experimenting with substances. He has worked hard to turn his life around.

‘When Stevie told me I was going to be a grandmother, I was overjoyed and knew it would be the start of something new.’

Leanda, also known as Landy, said she thought becoming a father to Steve would be “the start of something new” before he fell into a deep depression following the death of his sister.

Steve had been sober for four years when he fell into a deep depression.

He took his own life in July 2023, leaving behind two daughters. He was 44 years old – the same age as Tanya when she died.

Landy said: ‘In his mind he couldn’t live longer than his sister.

‘I thought he had found true happiness with his girlfriend. This time last year I felt like for the first time in my life I wasn’t worried about him and didn’t call him every day to make sure he was alive.

‘His girlfriend found him dead in his flat, an image we can never get out of our minds.

“He was still so hurt inside.”

Now Landy wants to raise £10,000 for three charities by the end of the week by organizing events where people can get a semicolon tattoo.

The designs are seen as a symbol of hope and are common among suicide survivors.

The grieving mother is determined to honor her children and prevent other parents from suffering the same heartbreak.

Landy contacted Pure Colours, a tattoo studio in St Albans, and they organized a semicolon tattoo event, with proceeds going to charity. SENSIBLE, Think Mid Herts And St Albans Action for the Homeless.

She explained: ‘The semicolon tattoo is about showing that your story isn’t over yet and that you have the control to give it a happy ending.

‘It’s not a period or a comma, it’s a confirmation of how your life will continue.’

On June 1, Landy got her own semicolon tattoo, which doubles as a dragonfly, and raised almost £7,000 from 302 tattoos that continued until June 2.

Since then, more than £1,500 in additional donations have been raised, with a third event on June 29 due to high demand, with a total to date of £8,744.

With 302 tattoos already booked for the weekend, Landy expects donations to exceed £10,000.

Now Leanda, from St Albans, Hertfordshire, wants to raise £10,000 for charity by the end of the week after organizing events where people can get semicolon tattoos (Landy’s picture), a symbol of hope common among survivors of suicide.

She added: “It shows how absolutely loved they are. There is so much love, support and respect.

“This is not out of sympathy or for me, it is about them and other people who are suffering because they have lost their loved ones.

‘Steve was a kind, caring and handsome boy with a heart of gold and who helped so many people.

‘He would do anything for anyone, and this became clear when people talked about him at his funeral. I didn’t really realize how much he did for others.

“The same was said about Tanya; unfortunately they didn’t follow their own advice.

‘Raising awareness and understanding of mental health is so important. The money is an absolute bonus.

‘Conversation. I always ask people twice if you are okay. Ask them and then ask them again to find out how they really feel.

‘Learn to talk about your problems and then learn to listen to others. Just be nice.”

For confidential support, call the Samaritans on 116123 or visit samaritans.org