Mother, 30, refuses to force her children to share their toys
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I refuse to let my children share their toys with other children. He even HIDES his favorite things when his friends come over.
A mother has revealed how she refuses to force her children to share and has separate ‘personal’ and ‘community’ toys for them to play together.
Emily Feret, 30, of Chicago, Illinois, does not force her children to share their own toys or possessions with each other or with friends.
She asks Hannah, four, and Levi, two, if there are any toys they don’t want to share and hides them when friends come over, leaving out “community toys” that anyone can play with.
The stay-at-home mom follows a gentle parenting approach, saying she treats her children ‘like people’ and with ‘respect’.
Emily, who lives with her husband, Greg, a salesman, tries to avoid the yelling and yelling and gives her children related consequences, such as taking away a toy they fight over.
Emily Feret, 30, of Chicago, Illinois, doesn’t force her children Hannah, four, and Levi, two, to share their own toys or possessions with each other or with friends.
Emily said, ‘As an adult, if I didn’t want to share something, no one would make me do it.
‘So I give my children the same respect. I ask them if there are toys they don’t want to share and I put them away if guests come.
‘I have toys that are individually theirs and toys that I call community toys that belong to everyone. I treat my children as people.
Emily tries to give her children “natural” or correlated consequences if they are doing something wrong.
She said: “If you’re fighting over a community toy, I’ll offer you a solution, like a timer, so you each get a little bit of time with the toy.”
If they keep fighting, I’ll take the toy away. I try to make the consequence make sense for the situation.
“If my kids are running and I tell them to stop because they might fall and they don’t listen and then they fall, it’s a natural consequence.”
Emily tries to talk to her children calmly and avoids raising her voice.
Emily asks Hannah and Levi (pictured) if there are any toys they don’t want to share and hides them when friends come over, leaving out “community toys” that anyone can play with.
The stay-at-home mom follows a gentle parenting approach, saying she treats Hannah and Levi (above) ‘like people’ and with ‘respect’
Emily (pictured) tries to give her children “natural” or correlated consequences if they are doing something wrong
She said: ‘I try to get down to his level and speak calmly. If I raise my voice, I will apologize and explain why I yelled.
‘I try to speak to them from a quiet place. If my son is jumping on the furniture, I’ll say, ‘Hey, can’t we jump on the couch?’
‘But I’ll give you an alternative for something you can jump on. If they continue, I will take them down.
“I let them feel upset and frustrated and I tell them the names of these emotions.”
Emily says that she will try to talk to her children from “a place of calm” and let her children be “upset and frustrated” if necessary.
Ultimately, Emily wants her kids to have a voice and express themselves, as long as they don’t hurt themselves or anyone else.
Emily also allows her daughter Hannah to get up at dinner instead of sitting at the table.
She said: ‘She’s so upbeat all the time. She has a hard time sitting down for dinner, so he let her move.
‘She stands up to eat a meal at home. There are no social expectations in the comfort of our home.’
He is also happy to let Hannah choose her own outfits.
Emily said: ‘She’s been choosing her outfits since she was two. She has fun doing it. I still have rules and limits set.
“But I want my kids to have a voice and express themselves, as long as they don’t hurt themselves or anyone else.”