Mother-of-the-bride leaves internet divided after admitting she’s refusing to let her daughter alter her own wedding dress… so, who do YOU think is in the wrong?

A mother has sparked debate after revealing she refused to let her daughter wear her wedding dress because she wanted to remove the skirt and wear the bodice as trousers so she could wear a suit on her special day.

The anonymous mother, 44, took to Reddit to explain that her 25-year-old daughter – who she did not name – has tied the knot with her girlfriend, 27, and wants to significantly change the wedding dress she now married her in. -deceased husband.

She explained that she promised her daughter her wedding dress when she was younger, but now she wants to put on a suit instead of a dress, so she plans to remove the skirt part of the dress so she can wear the bodice with pants wear.

The mother is now wondering if she is wrong for refusing to allow her daughter to transform the dress into a thread titled: ‘Am I the hole?‘, and started a passionate conversation.

She said: ‘My (44f) daughter (25f) is getting married to her girlfriend (27f) later this year

‘I always dreamed of walking her down the aisle (my husband died when she was a child) and she enjoyed talking about a future wedding and playing bride as a child, painting flowers, colors and picked locations.

“She enjoyed watching the videos of my wedding and seeing me and her dad get married, and it was important to our bond. When she was thirteen, I promised her my wedding dress.’

The unnamed mother explained that when her daughter became a teenager, her style became more masculine and she started wearing only pants.

When she got a girlfriend and proposed, her mother continued to support her.

The post read: “I have always been very supportive of all of this, even when she met her girlfriend and proposed. I encouraged her as much as I could. I contribute significantly to the wedding.”

And while things always went smoothly between her and her daughter, they hit rocky waters when she didn’t want her wedding dress to make a mockery of her.

She added: “I recently called and asked when she wanted me to bring the dress in as it would probably need minor alterations, and she informed me that she wanted to wear a suit and have my wedding dress altered to remove the skirt. section so that the bodice could be worn with pants. At first I agreed, but I dragged my feet to bring the dress forward.”

The anonymous mother, 44, took to Reddit to explain that her 25-year-old daughter – who she did not name – has tied the knot with her girlfriend, 27, and wants to take off the skirt.

Despite telling her daughter yes, the mother still wasn’t sure if she wanted to give up her dress.

She said: ‘After a few weeks I changed my mind and told her the dress was important to me and I didn’t want her to ruin it. When I promised her the dress, it was because I thought she would wear it as a dress, and that she would only be allowed to wear it if it is a dress.

‘I offered that her friend could wear it as a dress instead, but my daughter said this would still ruin it (her friend is a much bigger woman than me so it would require more adjusting) and has since no longer answering my messages except with She says the dress would have a connection to her father, so she is disappointed she doesn’t have it.

“I’ve offered to take her clothes shopping for replacements, but apparently some of our family think I’m preventing her from wearing the dress because I don’t agree with her being male.”

At the end of the post, she wondered if she was an “a**hole.”

People flooded the comments section and shared their thoughts – with the post sparking intense debate.

Some people slammed the mother and sided with the daughter, adding that she should be able to change the dress

Some people slammed the mother and sided with the daughter, adding that she should be able to change the dress.

One person said: ‘No, it wouldn’t be destroyed. Skirts can be refastened. When putting on or taking off a wedding dress (as OP was willing to do for her daughter’s fiancé) you often have to loosen parts of the skirt to adjust the pleat.’

Another user added: ‘I really don’t think you’re considering all the possibilities here.

‘For example, my wedding dress had an A-line with princess seams and appliqués on the bodice. There is literally no way to separate the skirt from the bodice without cutting everything apart since the “panels” are vertical.

“It’s not a common style anymore, but this was somewhat popular in the 1990s, and I’m guessing that was around the time this lady got married.”

Another person said: ‘I’m not sure what OP is talking about is ‘destroying it forever’. From what I understand, her daughter wants to loosen the bodice and wear pants with it. Technically, there’s nothing stopping OP from taking the bodice back and asking the seamstress to reattach the skirt after the wedding.”

Someone else commented: ‘YTA. It’s okay to say something like, “I know I promised you when you were little, but the dress is very important to me as it is, as a reminder of your father.” Then it would be NA H.

“But your message definitely shows contempt, which you barely try to disguise. You boldly SUIT like it’s so shocking and wrong. You tell her you don’t want her to “screw it up.” And you offered to go “DRESS shopping” with her. Not shopping for wedding outfits, but shopping for DRESSES.

It’s your dress, but she wants to make it her own to honor her father. You want it as a reminder of your husband. That would be fine. But it’s not about her changing it (because you’re okay with her future wife changing it significantly as long as it’s still a dress), it’s about you not wanting her to wear a suit.”

However, many other people flooded the comments section to share their support for the mother.

However, many other people flooded the comments section to share their support for the mother

One person said: ‘NTA. You offered to “borrow” your dress or let her “use” it – and not tear it apart in a way that would destroy it forever. This dress is yours, with living, breathing memories of it. If it cannot be returned to you in its original condition, then NO, you are not the AH who changed your mind about this. You may need to ask a professional seamstress what is possible. I’m sure you have other belongings that were actually her father’s, and perhaps she can take one of them with her; or recreate your bouquet; cake, or something like that, if that connection is what she’s looking for.’ However, other people may have used the comments section to defend the mother. However, other people may have used the comments section to defend the mother.

Another user added: ‘Agreed – NTA. She lost her father, but you also lost your husband, and it makes perfect sense that you are sentimental about this dress and don’t want it to be changed beyond recognition. Parents don’t have to give every part of themselves to their children – you’re allowed to have your own feelings and needs – and it’s entirely right that you want to keep the dress you married your late husband in. You made that promise in good faith, and I’m sure you would keep it if it didn’t mean this memento would completely change.”

Someone else said: ‘You actually want your wedding dress to remain a dress. And your daughter would like to incorporate it into her wedding outfit, but she no longer wants it to be a dress. If you allow her to change it, it will remain a family heirloom, but not a vintage dress.

“I think you have the right to just tell her that the dress has tremendous sentimental value to you and that you want it to remain intact.” Just make sure her suit looks great. N.T.A.’

One user said: ‘Some people like to hold on to things that have sentimental value, even if they have no ‘use’. Her wedding dress has a strong connection to her late husband, so it’s understandable that it would hurt if it were essentially destroyed, especially since it holds so many important memories. ‘

Someone else commented: ‘There’s a difference between a dress and a piece of cloth. You promised her your dress, not a piece of cloth that could be molded into something else. N.T.A.’