Miriam Margolyes reveals she’s lost 34 friends to HIV
Miriam Margolyes reveals she’s lost 34 friends to HIV and explains why she’s never lived with her lesbian partner in 54 years
Miriam Margolyes appears on the cover of Vogue’s Pride issue – describing her pain after losing 34 friends to HIV.
She said Fashion: ‘i counted [the number] one day, because so many people had died and they were all beautiful, talented, funny, gifted boys.”
While living in LA, she joined the Project Angel Food charity, which delivered meals to people too sick to leave the house.
She said, “I didn’t always know their names. I only knew their addresses. They were alone all day. These little hunted faces look out the window. It was horrible.’
The 82-year-old author and actress is a lesbian who came out to her parents in 1966 – when being gay was still illegal – there was no law criminalizing lesbians, it was still a social taboo.
Tough time: Miriam Margolyes told Vogue she’s lost 34 friends to HIV and explained why she’s never lived with her lesbian partner in 54 years – Heather Sutherland (throwback photo)
Honest: the 82-year-old author and actress is a lesbian who came out to her parents in 1966 – when being gay was still illegal – there was no law criminalizing lesbians, it was still a social taboo
Miriam is happy in one registered partnership with her partner of 54 years, Heather Sutherland, 80, an Australian historian and former professor at a university in Amsterdam.
The pair met in 1967 while working on a BBC radio drama.
Miriam has said that the thought of calling Heather her “wife” makes her sick and that living apart has been good for them.
She said, “We were able to live our lives without diminishing them. I didn’t want her to give up anything. And I didn’t want to give up anything. I wanted my cake and I wanted to eat it too. And so far it has worked.’
She said their civil partnership was mainly for legal protection and admitted she’d never been one for Pride marches, admitting, “I actually think lesbians are a bit on the bland side because they’re a bit heavy-handed about it .’
Miriam has just returned from Tuscany, where she has been staying with Heather in her farmhouse since December.
She has previously said that she has seen her partner eight times in a year.
While she has never been ashamed of being gay, Miriam does admit she regrets coming out to her parents, Joseph, a doctor, and Ruth, a real estate developer.
Miriam admits she regrets coming out to her parents, Joseph, a doctor, and Ruth, a property developer, but says she ‘never had any shame about being gay’ – pictured in 2022
Despite the law saying otherwise at the time, Miriam says she knew her sexuality wasn’t criminal because “it was me.” I couldn’t be a criminal,’
However, she said her parents’ reaction was hurtful and that her mother made her swear on the Torah that she would never have sex with another woman again.
She said coming out “hurt them” and that she “don’t want to hurt people.”
Months later, her mother suffered a serious stroke and she cared for her until she died, convinced that the news of her sexuality contributed to her mother’s failing health.
In her book, Miriam wrote, “I’ve always believed my coming out somehow caused it.
“It was a horrible time and I was very unhappy. I knew I couldn’t change what I was; I shouldn’t have told them.’
Miriam’s father died in 1995, aged 96. She has said that she doesn’t believe she ever accepted her sexuality, but it never stopped her from loving them.
Check out the full article in the July issue of British Vogue, available as a digital download and on newsstands from Tuesday, June 20.