Boomers spend far more money on travel than their parents, leaving their own millennial children without child care while they go on vacation.
Psychologist and millennial mother Leslie Dobson, 40, said she wished her father Ted Dobson, 71, was around to spend more time with her sisters and his grandchildren.
But Dobson's father is busy enjoying retirement on his boat in Mexico. He said: 'I haven't spent a penny less on my children. I just spent some on myself.”
The Los Angeles psychologist said she wasn't the only one who felt disappointed by her father — and by many of her Millennial customers face the same feelings of abandonment and resentment towards their parents.
Millennials are having children later in life – and many modern households have two working parents.
Boomers are leaving their millennial children behind to arrange childcare for their grandchildren while they go on vacation – like Ted Dobson, 71, in this photo who moved to Mexico after retiring and bought a boat
Psychologist and millennial mother Leslie Dobson, 40, said she wishes her father Ted was around to spend more time with her sisters and his grandchildren
Although boomer parents — born between 1946 and 1964 — are largely retired by the time they need them for child care, members of the older generation are taking vacations instead of lending a helping hand.
Bank of America analyzed consumer spending habits and found that boomers not only outspend other generations on travel and dining out, but they also spend far more on their trips than their own parents in the Silent Generation.
Dobson told Business Insider: “It's a common struggle. You have children, and it feels even more like a surrender that they chose their lives over meeting their grandchildren and building relationships.”
She described the phase as a three-quarter life crisis in which boomers realize their lives are almost over and frantically want to make the best of it.
Ted Dobson's three-quarter life crisis involved him uprooting his life in California after working there as a businessman and fleeing to Mexico, where he bought a boat and lived in an upscale community.
The younger Dobson said her father “feels like this is the right thing to do,” but admitted the decision has upset her and her sisters, who are now raising their own children and envisioning having a grandfather around who adored their children.
Bank of America analyzed consumer spending habits and found that not only do boomers outpace other generations in travel and dining out – they also spend far more on travel than their own parents in the Silent Generation.
But the retired businessman insists that even though he now enjoys his dream lifestyle of boating and pickleball, he has still done enough to help children with financial support.
“They all have a babysitter,” he said. 'We didn't have a goddamn babysitter. They drive expensive SUVs. I drove a damn minivan.”
The 71-year-old said the last time he went to visit his children in the US, they couldn't fit him into their busy schedule.
“Life revolves around the kids, and you either participate or you don't,” he said.
Another millennial facing a similar rejection from her mother is Kristjana Hillberg — who grew up always having her grandmother around for childcare when her parents traveled or needed help.
Hillberg, 33, told Business Insider: “When Mom and Dad ran out of town, we were at Grandma's. Grandma wasn't going anywhere, and we always knew that.”
The mother of three does not receive the same help from her parents, especially in the short term and only on their terms.
“We have to make sure we ask months in advance,” she said, adding that child care also had to take into account her parents' “own travel plans.”
Another millennial facing a similar rejection from her mother is Kristjana Hillberg — who grew up always having her grandmother around for childcare when her parents traveled or needed help
Hillberg said it has been especially difficult to recruit her 61-year-old mother Nella Hanson for babysitting duties after she remarried in February.
Hanson was “a saint” before her recent marriage, according to Hillberg – who said her mother was always ready to watch her daughter.
The newlywed turned down Hillberg's recent request to watch her three young children while she went on a girls' vacation to Costa Rice with her friends.
“I thought it would be a shoo-in and she would automatically come and watch the kids,” she said. “But she said, 'I just got married and I don't want to leave for the next seven days.'
“It's overwhelming to see your mother find love at 60… in a good way.” Hillburg said. 'She took us everywhere by herself as children. My father was always working. All my memories are of her.'
Hanson said she understood her daughter was disappointed by her lack of availability – and said she adores her grandchildren – but that it was “the right time” to put herself and her new husband first.
While boomers – who own more than $78 trillion in assets – have been living life to the fullest in their later years, childcare has been steadily and rapidly on the rise.
Show recent data that the average family spent $700 per month on child care – which is 32 percent more than what was spent in 2019. The cost of childcare has tripled since 1991.