This one menopause side-effect no one talks about meant I had to throw out half my wardrobe… and no, I didn’t go up a dress size!

As I drop another item on the bedroom floor, my daughter Sophie looks at me quizzically. We sort through my closets so I can tidy up and she can assess if there’s anything worth selling online.

Sophie is clearly bewildered by the sheer amount of stuff being thrown away. ‘Do you really want to get rid of all that stuff?’ she muses in disbelief, holding up a lilac size 10 Reiss that I bought a few years ago. Most memorably (for me anyway) I wore it for my inaugural performance at Question Time.

It’s not the only outfit to be tossed overboard in this relentless thinning: from the royal blue Max Mara dress accessorized with a gold-plated star belt that I wore to a family wedding, to a yellow button-up dress adorned with white roses. Although it’s only a few years old, it could still carry me to many summer parties.

It’s even time to say goodbye to Diane von Furstenberg – namely a navy blue checked DVF shirt dress – despite it being a gift from my husband Martin.

And don’t get me started on my tops. I’m especially sad that a powder blue sweater is coming out, because that’s my favorite color.

In short, this has been a major blitz. Why? Simply put, my expanding midlife bust just won’t fit in anymore.

See, over the past five years my bra size has gone from a nice C cup to a rather unwelcome E, while my hips and waist have remained the same.

If I squeeze myself into these outfits, I run the risk of putting everyone around me in mortal danger because a stray button will fly into their eye.

Kim Kardashian may have a bust that reminds me of Jessica Rabbit, but I look too much like Les Dawson dressed as a woman, with a chest that could serve dinner.

Fortunately, for my own sanity, I am not alone. Many women have testified that, having once been in proportion, they are now in their late 40s and suddenly find themselves forced to trade in their lingerie strings for bras that double as hammocks.

A recent study showed that one in five women experienced an increase in breast size after menopause. Yes, breasts change with The Change.

As estrogen levels drop, breast tissue becomes less dense and fattier. This is compounded by the fact that breasts are more prone to weight gain as we age, as dormant mammary glands shrink and are replaced by fat.

Angela before she went through menopause and got her ‘midlife’ breast

Angela poses in a pink dress while vacationing in the Greek countryside

As if that wasn’t enough, larger breasts are more prone to sagging in middle age, as the skin loses elasticity and the collagen that prevents sagging rapidly diminishes.

This droop even has a medical name. Hello, breast ptosis! Apparently, the nipples of a woman with heavy breasts can droop as much as four inches. Yes, you read that right. As if that wasn’t depressing enough, breast fat is extremely resistant to diet and exercise: once it’s there, it’s impossible to get rid of. Or at the very least, it’s very difficult to get rid of.

All of this partly explains why many women in their fifties store fat on top of their bodies when they didn’t before.

For me, suddenly getting a cleavage at my stage in life brings serious challenges. On a younger woman it might look sexy, but I just look matronly.

A good friend, who now has a pretty magnificent embonpoint, really struggles with the unwanted attention it brings. ‘I’m 54 and I don’t want people looking at my breasts because they’re just so ‘out there’. It’s awful.’

And now that summer has arrived, the situation has only become more embarrassing, as rising temperatures mean that all those classic camouflage sweaters and jackets have to come out of the closet.

Just a few days ago I was looking at some photos from a wonderful trip to Greece. The landscape looks beautiful against a stunning blue sky. But all I could see was the ghost of Carry On star Hattie Jacques as I posed for the camera in my pink T-shirt dress.

Even though I try to ignore my perky midlife breasts, I was reminded of them when I saw an equally vivacious friend at a recent wedding.

My buddy, who is not the type to look at me, wore a gorgeous dress with a pleated skirt and flattering sculpted arms. Unfortunately, the view from the waist up was undeniably Himalayan. Even I couldn’t help but stare.

So what am I going to do about it? It is certainly a costly situation as good supportive bras don’t come cheap. I just spent nearly £100 in a specialist shop after repeatedly asking the sales assistant for something that would hold me up.

Her answer: “We can give you a better shape, but size is size.” Beautiful.

So I have decided that the only way forward is to distract and compromise. I am not considering surgery. This is not to judge anyone, but I could never go under the knife voluntarily.

(But it does. According to the British Association of Aesthetic Plastic Surgeons, breast reduction procedures now account for 40 percent of all breast operations, an increase of more than a quarter in three years.)

Otherwise, there are exercises that focus on strengthening the chest and back muscles. This, instead of reducing size, will help improve posture, provide better support for the breasts, and relieve discomfort.

Of course, I could do as fashion designer Amanda Wakeley recommends and embrace my curves. Top style tip: opt for a scoop or V-neck, which will show off more of your neck and elongate your proportions. ‘Accentuate those curves, don’t hide them,’ says Amanda. ‘Most importantly, enjoy your assets with confidence!’

So I take another look at the pile of discarded clothes on the floor before finally handing them over to my daughter for her online sale.

Time to show off my assets? My heart sinks. I decide I’d rather accept the new reality of my midlife chest and go for floaty tops and baggy shirts. I think I can still look polished and trendy without looking like a sailor’s arm tattoo.

Let’s hope all buyers on Vinted or eBay enjoy the sale and cherish my once so prized purchases — while they still can. No booby prizes allowed.