Martine McCutcheon has revealed she ‘cried and cried and cried’ after being diagnosed with attention deficit disorder (ADHD).
The actress and singer, 48, was diagnosed following the death of her brother LJ, Laurence John, who died aged 31 from unknown causes.
Martine struggled to get out of bed after LJ’s death in 2022, and was later diagnosed with the condition, which has similar symptoms to ADHD but without hyperactivity.
Martine said on the new podcast A Gentle Star: The Showercast on Wednesday that she was in ‘complete denial’ at the time of her diagnosis, as she was grieving for LJ and also living with ME (chronic fatigue syndrome).
“At first I went into denial, completely into denial, because my brother had died,” she said. ‘I was diagnosed with ME and I thought: I can’t cope with this diagnosis and whatever it means.
Martine McCutcheon revealed on the A Gentle Start: The Showercast podcast that she ‘cried and cried and cried’ after being diagnosed with attention deficit disorder (ADHD)
Martine struggled to get out of bed after the death of her brother LJ in 2022, and was later diagnosed with the condition – which has similar symptoms to ADHD, but without hyperactivity
‘I just have to continue living life as I am. And in a way I was right.
‘And when I finally looked at it, I cried, I cried, cried and cried, I grieved, and it was only because if I had only known how different things could have been, how much more easily I would have done things have been able to do.’
Opening up about understanding her diagnosis, Martine said: ‘I always felt like there were certain things that I looked at differently, different things that I struggled with compared to other people, but different things that I found so easy, and I realized when I was diagnosed with ADD that I had spent so much time trying to be a square in a round circle, and it was exhausting.
‘It was so exhausting. It was just so hard. And in a way, I feel like I wasn’t supposed to find out, as sad as it was, because I’ve lost a lot of things in my life.
“I’ve struggled with a lot of things that I don’t think I would necessarily have done. I think if I had known that I had ADHD four years ago, I don’t know if I would have been able to deal with it the same way I do now.”
The actress lost brother LJ, who had a mild case of special needs, in late 2022 at the age of 31.
In October of that year, she told her fans to “hold on extra tight” in a reflective post.
‘Blue skies and sunshine on Saturday. Have a nice weekend everyone. Hold each other extra tight and make memories,” she wrote at the time.
The actress and singer, 48, was diagnosed following the death of her brother LJ, Laurence John, who died of unknown causes at the age of 31
She said the website designer was due to marry his fiancée Jay Eaton, 49, in a month’s time and that Martine, who was to be a bridesmaid, had seen her brother just days before he died.
She wrote: ‘My heart is forever broken. My little brother, my gentle giant, unfortunately passed away suddenly two weeks ago. He was 31 years old.
‘There is no medical explanation as to why we lost him so quickly and as we investigate further we must accept that nothing will bring our boy back to us.
‘LJ (Laurence John) was born when I was 15 years old and from the moment I first held him in my arms I felt so proud and fiercely protective of him. He was such a character!
“He made us all laugh and loved nothing more than making a plan, having a great playlist, bringing people together and generally having a laugh.”
She also thanked fans for their support following his shocking death.
‘Hi everyone, I hope you’re all doing well. It’s my first time on Instagram since I shared my post about the loss of my brother a few weeks ago. First of all, thank you so much for the outpouring of love, it means so much to my family.
The actress lost brother LJ, who had a mild case of special needs, in late 2022 at the age of 31 (pictured in 2013)
‘Today was my first day back to work, I didn’t know if I could do it or not – I was nervous, a bit of filming and a meeting and I’m so glad I did it.
She continued: “I know my brother would want me to continue and he was so proud of me and the fact that I enjoyed inspiring people, making them feel good and giving them a little bit of magic where I could’.
‘I felt him with me, and I did, the first day back. I did it.’
Alongside the emotional clip, she wrote: ‘Thank you for your support. To come back to it little by little. I know LJ would want me to continue.”
‘He was proud of me and understood why I do what I do. Grief is a strange thing and there is no one way to deal with it, but it felt good to do some work. I was nervous, but I did it.”