Married people who have affairs DON’T regret it, study finds

>

Married people who have affairs do NOT regret it! Cheats show little remorse for their infidelity, research shows

  • Scientists polled people who used Ashley Madison about their views on cheating
  • People on the site show little remorse and say cheating doesn’t hurt the marriage

From Adam Levine and Behati Prinsloo to Tiger Woods and Elin Nordegren, several celebrity married couples have made headlines in recent years following cheating scandals.

While many of these stars apologize after getting caught, a new study suggests they may not regret their infidelity at all.

Researchers at Johns Hopkins University surveyed people who used Ashley Madison – an extramarital affair website – about their views on cheating.

The results showed that people using the site show little remorse and believe cheating won’t hurt their marriage.

“In popular media, television shows and movies and books, people who have affairs have an intense sense of moral guilt and we don’t see that in this sample of participants,” said Dr. Dylan Selterman, who led the study.

Tiger Woods was at the center of one of the most famous cheating scandals of the early 2000s

From Adam Levine and Behati Prinsloo to Tiger Woods and Elin Nordegren, several celebrity married couples have made headlines in recent years following cheating scandals

In the study, the team sought to understand the psychology of people who actively seek and engage in extramarital affairs.

They turned to Ashey Madison, where they surveyed 2,000 users both before and after their affairs.

The participants were asked about the state of their marriage, why they wanted to have an affair and their general well-being.

The results showed that the participants generally reported high levels of love for their spouses.

However, they reported low levels of sexual satisfaction, and this was cited as the main motivator for having an affair.

Other drivers included a desire for independence and a desire for sexual variety.

Somewhat surprisingly, fundamental issues in the relationship, such as lack of love or anger toward a spouse, were the least cited reasons for having an affair.

Meanwhile, having a strong marriage didn’t make cheaters regret their affairs more.

“The ratings for business satisfaction were high: sexual satisfaction and emotional satisfaction,” Dr. Selterman explains.

And regrets were low. These findings paint a more complicated picture of infidelity than what we thought we knew.”

Overall, the results suggest that infidelity isn’t always the result of deeper relationship problems, Dr. Selterman said.

In the study, the team sought to understand the psychology of people who actively seek and engage in extramarital affairs (stock image)

In the study, the team sought to understand the psychology of people who actively seek and engage in extramarital affairs (stock image)

“People have different motives for cheating,” he said.

“Sometimes they cheat, even though their relationship is pretty good.

“We don’t see solid evidence here that people’s affairs are associated with lower relationship quality or lower life satisfaction.”

The team now hopes to study infidelity among the wider population to see how it compares to cheaters using Ashley Madison.

“Maintaining monogamy or sexual exclusivity, especially throughout people’s lives, is very, very difficult and I think people take monogamy for granted if they are committed to someone in a marriage,” Dr. Selterman concluded.

“People just assume that their partners will be completely satisfied if they have sex with one person for the next 50 years of their lives, but a lot of people fail.

“It doesn’t mean everyone’s relationship is doomed, it means cheating can be a normal part of people’s relationships.”

WHAT TACTICS DO PEOPLE USE TO STOP CHEATING THEMSELVES?

Researchers at the University of New Brunswick asked 362 heterosexual adults how they resisted the temptation to cheat during a relationship.

1. “Relationship Enhancement”

Seventy-five percent of survey respondents, who were between the ages of 19 and 63, chose “relationship enhancement” as their primary tactic.

This trick included things like taking their partner on a date, making an extra effort with their appearance around them, or having more sex with them.

2. “Proactive Avoidance”

The second most popular was “proactive avoidance,” which means keeping your distance from temptation.

In addition to physically avoiding the temptation, people also avoided engaging in conversation with that person.

3. “Deviation from Temptation”

The third and final tactic used by people was “deviating from the temptation,” which involved feelings of guilt and negative thinking about the tempting person.

Participants reported flirting less when they used the last strategy of ‘deviating from temptation’.

But none of the strategies had an effect on levels of romantic infidelity, sexual infidelity, or relationship survival.

Psychologist Dr Alex Fradera, who was not involved in the study, said the findings show little can be done once temptation has crept in.