I married a 40-year-old man for money at 19. We are still together and have four kids… but I regret everything
A woman who married a wealthy man more than 20 years her senior at the age of 19 has opened up about the unexpected toll their marriage took, calling it a decision she “deeply regrets” despite their marriage of twenty years old and four children.
The mother, now 39, says she tied the knot with her 40-year-old husband in what she admits was an arrangement based on looks and money.
“The only reason he married me was because I was pretty,” she admitted on Reddit. “And the only reason I married him was because he had money.”
She spoke candidly about her experiences, describing how her turbulent childhood left her vulnerable to the attraction of someone who seemed to have all the answers.
She was adopted by her parents and says she “shouldn’t have taken care of a houseplant.” She grew up feeling like she had to live her life alone.
When she met her future husband at the age of 17, his confidence and wealth seemed like a way out.
But looking back, she says, “If I could go back and punch myself, I would.”
The couple has built a life together, raised four children and found common ground over the years, but the cracks in their relationship run deep.
A woman who married a wealthy man 20 years her senior at the age of 19 has spoken out openly about the unexpected toll their marriage took
“What no one tells you – or they try and you don’t listen because you’re a stupid teenager – is that marrying for money means you owe them something. Every day. Not just in the bedroom, but in every aspect of your life,” she explained.
Although her husband never explicitly demanded repayment, the power imbalance has manifested itself in more subtle ways.
“He pulls rank at the most random moments, and it feels like the floor falls out from under you,” she said.
Her husband’s financial control has dictated every decision in their marriage.
When she wanted to go back to school or take a part-time job after their children were older, he refused to pay tuition or childcare and asked her to pay for a nanny with her new salary.
“Childcare would have cost more than I would have earned, so there was no point,” she explained.
Even small actions became impossible without his permission.
When she dyed her hair a color he didn’t like, he retaliated by withholding money for the children’s school clothes until she changed it back.
The mother, now 39, says she tied the knot with her 40-year-old husband in what she admits was an arrangement based on looks and money
“It sounds strange, but these psychological battles happen all the time,” she said.
Despite the challenges, she does not hate her life and recognizes that she and her husband love each other.
However, the mother hopes her story is a warning to others, especially young women in difficult situations.
“I see my eldest daughter, who is now 17, and I can’t imagine her making the same decision I did,” she said.
‘Marrying for money may seem like an easy way out, but the costs are much greater than you think.’
Although she has come to terms with the choices she has made, she says she would give anything to go back in time and do things differently.
‘I’ve made my bed and I have to lie in it. But I would never recommend this to anyone else.”