A man who waited until marriage to have sex has left the internet in ‘tears’ after revealing that he and his wife have still not been intimate in over a year due to a cruel condition that makes intercourse extremely painful for her.
The man, named CJ, opened up about his predicament during a recent episode of acclaimed author and relationship expert John Delony’s YouTube show.
He basked the host for advice on how to combat his “wants and desires” while still being a “good husband” — and his confession sparked strong reactions from viewers.
Many people on the internet felt terrible for CJ and his partner – and some even revealed that his story had made them emotional.
A man who waited until marriage to have sex revealed that he and his wife of over a year still haven’t gotten intimate due to a cruel condition that makes intercourse painful (stock image)
The man, named CJ, opened up about his predicament during a recent episode of acclaimed author and relationship expert John Delony’s YouTube show.
During the show, CJ, who did not share his last name, explained to John on the phone that both he and his wife grew up as devout Christians, meaning they were both “virgins” when they tied the knot in November 2022.
“But what happened then was that once we got married, we soon found out that she was suffering from a condition known as vaginismus,” he said.
According to Cleveland Clinicvaginismus is an “involuntary tightening of the vagina” that people experience “at the beginning of sex, during the insertion of a tampon, or during a pelvic examination.”
Although the exact cause is unknown, factors that may contribute to the condition include anxiety disorders, injuries, or “fear of sex or negative feelings about sex, perhaps due to past sexual abuse, rape, or trauma.”
It can be treated with ‘Conesvaginal dilators and cognitive behavioral therapy.’
While talking to John, CJ explained that his wife was she worked with a “sexual psychologist, a physiotherapist and a gynaecologist,” but that they still had not had intercourse due to her severe discomfort.
As for the possible contribution to that, CJ theorized that their strict religious beliefs likely played a major role.
“In Christian culture, sex goes from something that’s pretty bad to something that’s great and wonderful as soon as you get married, and I think that’s a really hard turn to make. It’s literally overnight,” he told John.
He begged the host for advice on how to combat his “wants and desires” while still being a “good husband” — and his confession made some viewers emotional
In the meantime, CJ explained that they’re “trying to be creative” since “sex is much more than just that act.”
“But sometimes I struggle with the fact that there are times when it just feels a little bit incomplete,” he admitted. “I feel like there has to be something more here.
‘We both had an image of what we thought it would be like in terms of sex and all that stuff, especially as Christians and virgins, and it just wasn’t that.
‘It’s been tough. And in tWhen he started, I thought it was me, you know? It felt like she was rejecting me.”
“How can I be the best husband I can be right now while she’s struggling through everything?” CJ asked John.
‘Because, of course, I have my own wishes and desires, which I think are completely natural.
‘I want to have a full sexual relationship with my wife, but that’s just not possible right now.
“So my question is, how can I learn to be a good husband and support and encourage her while also managing my own expectations?”
In response to his question, John said CJ should avoid “holding in his disappointment and frustration,” and encouraged him to talk to his wife about what he’s feeling.
“(If you don’t), you’re going to feel anxious, you’re going to feel like you can’t sleep anymore, you’re going to become short and snappy. aAnd then there will be a strange dance between you and your wife,” he warned.
“You have to be able to talk about that struggle together, because secrets destroy a marriage.”
He added that CJ’s feelings are completely understandable given the circumstances, and reminded him that the condition is “super treatable.”
“You’re not crazy and you’re not a bad guy for this. YYou can be disappointed that you’re not having sex because it sucks,” John told the caller.
‘But don’t think this is forever. I’m proud of you, keep walking with her, keep holding her hand. Your spirit is impressive and it really seems like you love this woman.
‘Try to create a world where you can express your disappointments out loud, your frustrations and the things that make you sad.
“And remember, there will be challenges that will affect you all the time, that’s just the nature of all relationships.”
John (seen) said CJ should avoid “holding in his disappointment and frustration,” and encouraged him to talk to his wife about what he’s feeling
John concluded by sharing a message to all his viewers who may be struggling with something similar.
‘I“If you have any kind of sexual pain or discomfort and if intimacy hurts, go talk to a licensed professional,” he said.
‘Even if it’s embarrassing. It may be hard, it may be uncomfortable, but you are worth it.”
The comments section of the video was flooded with messages of support for CJ and his wife.
“The way this man speaks about his wife brought tears to my eyes,” one person wrote.
“Honestly, this caller is the sweetest guy ever. I hope his wife knows and appreciates that, and I hope the doctors can work with her to help her with her condition,” said another.
‘I wish them both all the best. He deserves all the happiness. What a sweet soul.’
Another added: ‘I have faith in this couple. They seem so healthy. Good luck in their endeavors.”
“This man is definitely a keeper,” read a third comment, while a fourth said: “God bless this young man. What a shining example of sacrificial love. This is what true love is.”
‘Really a good person. Power comes in many forms. I salute you,” said another user. THe’s the kind of love I want,” another viewer admitted.