An irritated man has sparked heated debate after revealing he had removed his 18-year-old son from his will – because he just found out he was not the biological father.
The unnamed man, from the US, took to Reddit’s infamous Am I The A**hole thread to candidly share details of the family feud.
He explained that he had been raising a son for 18 years, but was recently told by his mother-in-law that his wife had had an affair with her high school boyfriend during conception.
The man said he was now divorcing his unfaithful wife and cutting off the son he had helped raise for nearly two decades – but readers remained bitterly divided in the comments.
The unnamed man, from the US, used Reddit’s infamous Am I The A**hole thread to candidly share details about the family feud
The post, shared earlier this week, was captioned: ‘Am I in the loop for removing my wife’s child from my will because I discovered he’s not mine?’
It read: ‘I have been married to my wife for fifteen years and our son is 18 years old. I think I was a good father to him, always present and always supporting him. I was the first person he talked to when he had a bullying problem, a math problem, when he needed romantic advice.
‘He is straight, but loves cross-dressing and make-up, and I was the first to support him in that, while his mother tried to make him more ‘masculine’.
“But recently I found out he’s not actually my child.”
The man continued, “My mother-in-law said he had something important to tell me, so I went to her and told her that my child is actually my wife’s high school boyfriend’s baby.
‘She gave birth at 20, but apparently she cheated on me with her old boyfriend.
“My mother-in-law said that after his birth, my wife told her the truth because she suspected that the baby didn’t look exactly like me and mother-in-law confronted her about it, but the baby was already born and nothing could be done.
‘I was angry and asked her why she didn’t tell me this properly? She told me it was because she saw my son hanging out in a park with his biological father and believes he is back in their lives.”
He explained that he had been raising a son for 18 years, but was recently told by his mother-in-law that his wife had had an affair with her high school boyfriend during conception (stock image)
He explained: ‘I decided not to shoot the messenger and went outside to confront my wife and son about it, after a long discussion they told the truth. The biological father was back and wanted to meet his real son.
“A lot has happened and I’m getting a divorce, and I’m also cutting my wife’s son out of my will because I never had a real son and all this time I’ve been putting all my energy and effort into raising the child of another man. . I am also discussing whether it is possible to sue the biological father for all the money I have spent raising his biological son over the years.
‘My wife is clearly angry with me, but my (step?) son is just devastated. I can tell he is depressed, not talking to me and constantly apologizing. My plan was to get a divorce and then immediately cut off contact with them, but now I’m wondering if I’m going too far by punishing him too.’
After an initial wave of comments, the man went on to write in two additional edits: “The boy had known about his biological father for about four months before I discovered him.
‘And yes, we did a DNA test, he pushed for it a lot and after the result came back negative, I think his depression really hit. Okay, maybe there’s no point in suing the biological father, but I’ll ask a lawyer anyway.
‘Many people compare my situation with a stepfather or an adoption. There is a difference, for over 18 years I thought he was my real son.
“I 100% believe that adoptive parents are real parents and their adopted children are their real children, but they entered the adoption process willingly, they know their family is not a blood family. I was misled in my situation.
‘If I had known my wife after the baby was born I wouldn’t have cared because I knew it was someone else’s son, but I thought this was my real son and now I find out that is not so. Anyway, I need to talk to him if he feels like it.”
Unsurprisingly, the post was quickly flooded with comments from readers who had their say on both sides of the debate.
On the one hand, there were those who argued that the husband was not necessarily wrong
On the one hand, there were people who did argued that the husband was not necessarily wrong.
One person wrote: ‘I hope you sue them all for paternity fraud, parental alienation, and get the marriage annulled because I suspect you are married [because] of the then baby.
“And I usually tell you to cut the boy some slack, but he’s known for months that if he had even an inkling of love and/or respect for you, he would have told you himself.”
Another said: ‘NTA to divorce her. She sucks, but treating your son like he hasn’t been your son for 18 years? What the f***?
“He didn’t choose you any more than you chose him. He clearly loves you and sees you as his father. Imagine yourself in his shoes.’
Someone else commented: “Your son just found out his entire life is a lie, and the man he thought was his father no longer loves him. Can you honestly say you don’t love him anymore?
“After all the diapers, sick days, sports games, school assemblies, cringeworthy TV watching, girl trouble, and all the other little things you’ve done and shown up for over the past eighteen years.
“Was literally the only reason you loved him was because you thought you shared blood? You should have a conversation with him.
“Probably more than one, and think about what your relationship could mean if you can have one at all.
“You are NTA because of your feelings, but you have to be careful with your actions because you can become one very easily.”
But on the other hand, many accused him of going too far with his response
But on the other hand, many accused him of going too far with his response.
One person wrote: ‘Why punish the boy? He didn’t choose to be an affair baby. It sounds like for the most part he saw you as a father and you saw him as a son.
“Your wife is an incorrigible trash. Divorce her and tell everyone why – show the DNA test results.
‘She must suffer, not ‘your’ son. I hate your wife but YTA for punishing an innocent child.”
Another commented: “You are the asshole for cutting ties with the person you loved and raised as your son for eighteen years. It’s not his fault his mother cheated.
‘It’s not his fault that the biological father wants to come into his life. He’s still a kid, at 18, while you’re an adult.
“He’s probably also going through a lot of confusing emotions after finding out, and now to be abandoned by the father who raised him – that’s a worse betrayal than if he didn’t tell you right away when he found out.”
‘Probably his mother pressured him to keep it a secret, and he didn’t know what to do/was afraid of how you would react, and apparently for good reason if you’re willing to drop him as your son, as if it is nothing. .
“YTA for punishing the innocent child you raised as your son for eighteen years,” a third shared.
“I don’t blame you for being upset, or for divorcing your wife for lying to you, but that child, who is your child in every way except biology, has done nothing to change your to deserve wrath.”