Madonna says her ‘heart was ripped out’ after her mother’s death when she was only five

Madonna revealed that she felt like her “heart was being ripped out” after her mother, Louise Ciccone, died in 1963 at the age of 30 after being diagnosed with breast cancer.

The 66-year-old Queen of Pop – who recently sparked engagement rumors to boyfriend Akeem Morris – opened up about coping with the loss in new Sky documentary Becoming Madonna, released on December 30.

The singer was only five years old when her mother died and spoke candidly about the impact this had on her at such a young age. People.

“You know what happened when I was [5] years old, it was simply the biggest event of my life,” Madonna said. “It was like part of my heart was ripped out.”

“I was forced to grow up quickly and understand my mother’s death, to understand the psychological things, all the things that were going on. It was too much for one child, I think.’

The star remembered her mother Louise, saying: ‘She was beautiful and sweet and a hard worker.’

The documentary also featured Madonna’s late brother Christopher to talk about their mother.

A few months earlier, in October 2024, he died at the age of 63 after a battle with cancer.

“I think when my mother died, things changed emotionally for everyone,” he had stated.

Christopher then added about his older sister, “I know my dad put a lot more pressure on her to be our guide.”

“She was our mother’s namesake, and her name was Madonna. I mean, it crushes you or edifies you or elevates you into something else.”

The artist – whose full name is Madonna Louise Ciccone – proudly revealed she was named after her mother, saying: ‘It means a lot to me. It’s my mother’s name and I loved my mother, so there’s a connection.”

Last year in May 2024, the Vogue singer shared a tribute to her late mother on Instagram on Mother’s Day. Some photos showed Madonna standing on stage while a photo of Louise was shown on a big screen during her Celebration Tour.

In the caption, she wrote, “I’ve stood on stage for 81 shows, staring at my mother’s beautiful face and wondering what she was thinking as she waved at me from the hospital window.”

“I got into the station wagon and closed the door, not knowing that was the last time I would see her,” the singer recalled emotionally.

Madonna said at the time that her family had not told her that her mother was dying.

“I saw her mysteriously disintegrate and then she disappeared, and there was no explanation other than she had gone to sleep.”

She stated that the explanation that her mother simply went to sleep to describe her death when she was just five has resulted in the singer’s own “tumultuous relationship with sleep.”

“When I stepped on stage and looked at my mother’s face every night, I said hello and said goodbye. I said thank you. I hope you’re proud of me. I said, ‘Please protect me and keep me healthy.’

The star then reflected on being a mother too, writing: ‘On this tour I became very close to my children. We clung to each other. In the long hours we worked and struggled.’

Madonna is the mother of six children: Lourdes, 28, Rocco, 24, David, 19, Mercy, 18, as well as Stella and Estere, 12.

‘They helped me make my dreams come true. In the chaos and the storms, the monotony and repetition. The sleepless nights and the endless packing and unpacking. All the sacrifices we made together.”

The Material Girl hitmaker later added: ‘Not an easy road into the motherhood game. No manual or university. Just trial and error and learning and succeeding and then failing again.”

‘Finally realizing that they raised me and not the other way around. I always laugh with friends and say motherhood = suffering. But it’s not a joke, it’s the truest thing I’ve ever said…

And in 2023, the singer made rare comments about her late mother after visiting a storage room of old costumes while preparing for her tour.

She had written: ‘A trip to my archives is always a nostalgic trip down memory lane!’

‘When I was a little girl, I remember my mother was always cold. Partly because she was ill, but also because she never had a coat.’

Madonna added, “She always spent what little money we had on our coats and I remember standing outside waiting for the school bus while my mother shivered in the cold in the dead of winter!!”

‘Years later, when I became successful, my mother’s sister said to me, “Now you can buy all the jackets your mother couldn’t buy for herself!”

“The journey from the memory of my mother shivering in winter to me shivering in the air-conditioned storage room where all my costumes are stored is quite remarkable.”

The performer concluded, “Every time I put on an incredible coat, I think of my mother. I hope she likes my taste in costumes. But most of all, I hope she’s warm!’

Madonna’s father, Silvio Ciccone, celebrated his 93rd birthday in June last year – and the singer paid tribute to the big milestone.

Silvio and Louise welcomed a total of six children before her death: Madonna, Martin, Paula, Melanie, as well as late brothers Anthony and Christopher.

Her father later remarried his second wife named Joan, and they welcomed two more children: Jennifer and Mario.

Earlier this week on Thursday, Madonna notably fueled engagement rumors with her boyfriend Akeem Morris, 28, by flashing a striking sparkler on her ring finger.

The star uploaded a series of Instagram photos as she rang in the new year with her children and Morris.

In one image, both she and Akeem were seen strolling down a hallway in what appeared to be a lavish hotel.

The singer extended her left hand towards the camera and fans were quick to get a diamond ring on her finger.

Madonna and the former college football player first crossed paths in 2022, but didn’t make their romance public on social media until last year, in July 2024.

Currently available to stream, her Sky Documentary follows her rise from 1978 to 1992 – as well as featuring unseen photos and rare footage.