Lucy Letby: Killer nurse wrote notes confessing ‘I am evil, I did this’ after murdering babies

Lucy Letby wrote a “confession” describing herself as a “terribly evil person” and saying, “I DID THIS.”

The note was discovered in her diary by the police when they raided her house after her arrest.

On the green Post-it, found in a 2016 journal in her bedroom, she wrote, “I killed them on purpose because I’m not good enough. I’ll never have kids or get married or know what it’s like to have a family.”

Other strange and chaotic writings were also taken from her purse and garage.

She insisted that the green note was not proof that she had killed and harmed the children, but that she had written it when she was mentally “struggling” because she believed she could have made mistakes at work and accidentally killed the babies. had hurt.

But the jury rejected her claims and agreed with the prosecution that it should be read “literally.”

Last night, handwriting expert Adam Brand, who analyzed Letby’s notes for the Mail, said her writing style was evidence of a “manipulative and dishonest” individual.

However, other features of her handwriting indicated that she could also be “charming” and “kind” at the same time, he said.

Brand said Letby was a fascinating case because her writing style showed characteristics of antisocial behavior disorders — impulsiveness, dishonesty, rejection of discipline and manipulation — while also demonstrating her ability to “integrate” into society and make friends.

He said the handwriting in Letby’s 2016 diary, recovered by police, was ordered and appeared to be written by someone in charge. But it was in stark contrast to the other colored notes, all of which were shown to the jury and appeared to be much more chaotic and disturbed.

“It appears from her writing that she is a charming person who can do terrible things,” he said.

Brand compared Letby to Jeffrey Dahmer, the American serial killer who murdered and dismembered 17 men over 13 years in Milwaukee, USA.

“He’s been described as an integrated anti-social and I see her like that,” he said. “She’s someone who can be very friendly at times, manipulative, secretive and cold at other times.”

Mr. Brand pointed out a number of ‘faults’ in her handwriting.

The way she had written HATE, PANIC, FEAR, LOST on the green “I am evil” note could be seen as attention seeking, suggesting she wanted to be listened to and not ignored, he said.

While the “continuous loops” on the yellow note and the repetition of her name or signature on the white A4 note both showed she was obsessive, Mr Brand said.

The way in which her writing is not slanted one way or the other – it does not consistently lean right or left, but has an alternating slant – and sometimes ‘suddenly’ changes direction in the middle of a word is highly unusual and demonstrates she suffered from “horrific” mood swings and struggled to fit into a team, Mr. Brand said.

“Mood swings are represented by sudden changes in slope, you’re going to slant from left to right,” said Mr. Brand.

“This is a clear mood change, you can feel that change of emotion, it’s very fast when it’s in a word itself.”

The lack of consistency in the height of her letters also suggested she has self-esteem issues, while “hooks” at the beginning of vowels symbolized avoidance, Brand said.

Shaded boxes and grid scribbles also meant suppressed anger and that she felt trapped, he added. Anger was also evident in the slashes she used instead of periods to “dot the i’s and cross the t’s,” he said.

While the “overlapping” of words and sentences symbolized an inability to plan or think clearly, Brand added.

Referring to the back of one of the yellow notes, Mr. Brand said, “When you look at the scribbles that are going on, it’s quite remarkable. Incredibly heavy, you see the anger, the fear, the stress. Another thing you see is the constant circling – there’s a compulsion in the writing, that compulsion that you see in one of the other magazines where her name is written all the time, everywhere.

‘It’s full of repetition and coercion, which causes some disruptions.

‘The trapped feeling of the squares, the fear of it, the compulsion of the circles, the fact that the lines overlap, very unclear thinking. No margin, so you can tell this person is invasive, you don’t even have to look at the content, from a graphological point of view, these things hit you, it says, “here’s trouble.”

Other features of her handwriting showed she had dishonest personality traits, Mr. Brand said. “The other issue that comes up strongly is the fact that her writing is dishonest,” he added. ‘Letters that look like other letters and missing letters in words themselves. “b’s” that have an open bottom and are more like “h’s” – it’s the symbolism, it says, “I don’t care.”

“Then there are very small movements, which are a little disturbing. Like a “shark’s tooth,” which is what happens when you have an “m” where the last stroke is a “c” shape, that’s someone who can manipulate, abuse, and use people. The other is known as a ‘spoon e’, which is again an ability to manipulate and use people.

“Her forms of connection – how you connect letters – are all so inconsistent.”

Letby’s thread, or the way she puts letters together, hints at cunning, while the angle of her writing suggests someone who can be cool and persistent,’ Mr Brand added.

The arcade or bridge of her letters, for example, the way she writes an “m,” also hints at secrecy or intrigue, he said.

But the “garlands” or “bowls” of her handwriting, found in the “w’s” and “l’s,” indicated she could be both lazy and nice, he added.

“Here we have someone who can be really friendly at times, draw people in and cooperate, then she’s intriguing, secretive, sometimes very cold and then quite persistent,” said Brand.