Louise Thompson has shared that she ‘cried for two straight hours’ this week after a ‘crazy’ breathing session.
The former Made In Chelsea star, 32, took to Instagram while reflecting on the bathroom shoot, admitting to her 1.4 million followers: “I honestly feel like I could cry all day.”
She also reached out to fans to suggest other coping mechanisms besides breathwork, which is an active form of meditation that works to improve mental, physical, and spiritual health.
The television personality suffers from post-traumatic stress disorder and postpartum anxiety after nearly dying giving birth to her son, Leo, in November 2021, as a result of experiencing “intense traumatic incidents in such close proximity to each other.”
‘I honestly feel like I could cry all day’: Louise Thompson admitted she ‘cried for 2 hours straight’ while reflecting in the bathroom this week after a breathing session amid PTSD battle
Sharing a selfie with her Toilet Stories, Louise informed her followers about the session, explaining, “I just had the craziest breathing session at home where I cried for 2 hours straight.”
“Honestly, I feel like I could cry all day. I have this massive urge to purge negative emotion and I FINALLY think I might be ready to start some real trauma therapy for the new year.
But despite sharing that the session had helped to let out negative emotion, she went on to say that she was afraid of ‘being alone with my own thoughts’.
Flipping the camera to show her bathroom, Louise wrote: “I’m trying to relax in the bathroom but I can’t stop texting people.” I don’t want to be alone with my thoughts. I honestly don’t know how to do it.
Battle: TV personality suffers from PTSD and postpartum anxiety after nearly dying giving birth to her son, Leo, in November 2021, as a result of experiencing ‘intense traumatic incidents so close to each other’
Fears: But despite sharing that the session had helped to let out negative emotion, she went on to say that she was afraid of “being alone with my own thoughts.”
Hopes: Louise then pictured her legs in the bath as she detailed that she wanted to be a fun mom to her young son Leo, whom she shares with her partner Ryan Libbey
Adding a question box asking fans for coping mechanisms, Louise continued that she usually ‘loves’ December and Christmas, but feared her mental health would ruin this year.
“I used to love December, Christmas was my favorite time of the year and now I’m worried about missing it due to my fear-driven anxieties,” she wrote.
Continuing to admit that she was ‘not really into it’ after the birth of their son, Louise said: ‘I was absolutely fine for Leo’s birthday but then again I wasn’t really worried about his birth but December 2021 was torture. and now i’m having tons of memories flooding back.
“During breath work, I made space in my mine to think about all my failed relationships, my miscarriage, and lots of other sad things.”
Brave: The sad incident comes after Louise explained that she feels “deep sadness” and that she has “let down” Leo because she “can’t remember the first five months” of his life.
Louise then pictured her legs in the bath as she detailed that she wanted to be a fun mom to her young son Leo, whom she shares with fiancé Ryan Libbey.
The reality star explained, “I also kept thinking about the things I had done this year with Leo, but I didn’t remember him being there.” Then I thought how much I love him now and he made me hysterical. Then I imagined him growing up and that pushed me even more over the edge.
‘The worst is when I imagine I can’t be 100% happy with him. He brought him into this world and I want to make sure he has the best life possible. I want to be fun, energetic and a great teacher,’ she concluded, before asking if any of her fans find December difficult as well.
Louise has previously admitted that she has few memories of the first months of her son’s life, calling them “hazy” and “very scary.”
Family: Shares Leo with partner of six years Ryan Libbey (pictured together this summer)
She recently shared a gallery of sweet photos of her and Leo, explaining, “I’ve looked through thousands of pictures of my little Leo last night and then again this morning (many of which I’ve never seen before) and I still don’t feel safe.” what to post to commemorate this momentous occasion.
“It seems strange not to address the elephant in the room though, so here’s a very mundane photo of me and my baby yesterday morning getting ready for the day.” ’
She continued: ‘I feel a bit angry, like I want to swear a lot, especially when I see how glassy she was at the beginning of her journey on earth.
‘Then I want to cry. I want to cry because I was a totally SHIT parent. it really was and it wasn’t my fault. But it didn’t have to be this way. There was no connection, in fact I can’t even remember anything from the first five months of his life.
‘I feel deep sadness’: She recently shared a gallery of sweet photos of her and Leo, explaining: ‘I looked at thousands of pictures of my little Leo last night and then again this morning (many of which I’ve never seen) and yet , still not sure what to post to mark this momentous occasion
Support: The star has shared that she ‘wasn’t there’ for the first few months of Leo’s life, but she’s glad her partner Ryan documented it
Louise has endured a difficult year after she nearly died during the birth of her son Leo, whom she shares with Ryan, spending five weeks in hospital suffering from “serious complications”.
Since then, she has been battling PTSD and postpartum anxiety, admitting during a week in January that she cried up to 20 times.
The star has been honest with her fans about her daily struggles, revealing at times that the anxiety felt “inexplicable” but now she’s learning to “make sense of it.”
Louise, who often calls her son Leo her “little miracle baby”, manages to control her anxiety, and after obsessively monitoring her temperature, blood pressure, and heart rate, she is able to carry on with her normal daily routine.
If you have been affected by this story, please contact the Birth Trauma Association at birthtraumaassociation.org.uk
For help and support with perinatal mental illness contact PANDAS on 0808 1961 776