Logan Paul and Nina Agdal vs Dillon Danis: Come one, come all to the most vulgar online sex feud of the year, says KENNEDY. But before your bloodshot eyeballs explode in outrage, ask yourself… Is this part of the show?

This story is a cautionary tale. A fable for the digital age. And the most annoying professional attention seekers you can imagine play a role in it.

Maybe you’ve heard of the Paul brothers, Logan and Jake?

They’re blonde, bearded, trailblazing YouTubers with tasty net worths built on years of tasteless pranks, fake weddings, crypto scams… and, oh yeah, boxing.

As the Sweet Science has faded into the cold shadow of Mixed Martial Arts over the past twenty years, a few shameless opportunists have co-opted the noble art to enhance their eccentricities and bolster their bottom lines.

But now the Pauls may have met their treacherous match, with Logan in the middle of an online sex feud on the eve of his upcoming fight with The Notorious Conor McGregor’s training partner, Dillon Danis.

Dillon has decided to drag LoLo’s fiancée, supermodel Nina Agdal, into the ring.

The Paul brothers are no stranger to hot wads of barely clothed arm candy, and Nina is no stranger to advertising her jiggly bits to her nearly two million Instagram followers, so Danis didn’t have to become a Mensa member to realize that trolling of his the opponent’s girl could only fill his wallet.

But this wasn’t some amateurish, knowingly “your girl is a slut” right-wing jab and anger.

He has taken the feud to obscene, possibly law-breaking levels.

Dillon has unloaded an arsenal of memes, nudes, videos and overt taunts to dig into Logan’s blank mind by questioning the number of lovers Nina has entertained over the years. And the happy, overexposed couple isn’t taking any of this body count shame.

Nina filed a lawsuit to obtain a restraining order (which she was granted), accusing Danis of “cyber harassment and bullying.”

The model-fluencer suggests that Danis hacked her Snapchat and then posted a sexually suggestive video that was buried deep in the underworld of her personal stash. She also says he subversively accessed a decade-old, triple-X-rated photo of a suspected jilted lover and sent it out into the world.

But this one is a little more complicated than Team Trollop versus Team Moron.

As a mother of two teenage girls, the thought of cyberbullying and revenge porn sends shivers down my spine. But I also warn my girls not to walk right into it.

I tell them never to take compromising photos or send them to ANYONE because you never know when your knight in shining armor will become your worst nightmare.

This applies to girls as well as boys, women as well as men.

You never know where those annoying photos and videos will end up. And once that ransom leaves your domain, it can become arrows in a psychopath’s quiver, cruelly piercing your heart and destroying your reputation.

If Dillon broke the law, he must face the consequences. But what responsibility do Nina and Logan have in this case?

Head to her Insta and you’ll see lots of sideboob and saucy suggestive selfies. And aside from Dillon’s two awful and invasive posts, it looks like the rest of the explosion is fair game.

Nina Agdal has expertly mastered the art of aesthetic monetization. Her images are distributed to arouse sexual desire and even jealousy, but she acts as if she has the ultimate say in how and when these images will be used.

When you portray yourself nearly naked to make money, when do you cross the line if someone uses that pristine flesh against you?

Do not get me wrong. Nina is well within her rights to shake her lady parts for nickels – a lucrative modern-day offshoot of the world’s oldest profession. But why the outrage as if she were a young Victorian lady playing a role as a nurse in a children’s hospice?

I see you too Logan, the guy’s guy who helped invent and improve the rules of modern trolling.

Live by the sick burn, die by the sick burn.

What did he expect?

When you’re fighting a guy who posted a dangling corpse from a Japanese suicide forest for fun, like Logan did in 2017, you’re going to have to come up with more than Yo’ Momma jokes for a Twitter TKO.

Let’s also keep in mind that Dillon is worth about $3 million (according to weak internet reporting) and Logan is worth about $20 million.

These idiots seem to know what they’re doing, and it makes you wonder if all three of them aren’t involved in the whole damn thing. If you haven’t heard of these stooges before, you have now. And you Googled them to see if Naughty Nina is worth the fight.

This is how these things work, folks. Book the venue, stoke the rage and watch the greenery pour in. It’s entirely possible that these petulant parties didn’t predict how this titillating train wreck would come crashing down headlong, out of common decency, but they were on board.

So, what is the moral of this twisted fairytale from 2024?

When the lights go out, put your iPhone in the bedroom drawer. But if you decide to roll the dice on your “not safe for work” antics, don’t be shocked if your coworkers secretly watch the latest leaks.

And finally, before we get too excited, remember that without our bloodshot eyes and righteous indignation, these idiots would turn into pumpkins.