Lily Allen admits she ‘had children for all the wrong reasons’ in a heartbreaking search for ‘unconditional love’

Lily Allen has admitted she ‘had children for the wrong reasons’ in a heartbreaking bid to find ‘unconditional love’.

The 39-year-old singer, who has daughters Ethel (13) and Marnie (11) with her ex-husband Sam Cooper, candidly spoke about how she hoped a pregnancy would help her put her meteoric career on hold and rekindle a love she ‘hadn’t felt since I was a child.’

Her father is actor Keith Allen, 70, who abandoned her mother Alison Owen, 63, when Lily was four. Lily has been candid about their troubled relationship.

Lily and her friend Miquita Oliver spoke candidly on her podcast Miss Me? on BBC Sounds about how her desire to have children stemmed from a search for a love she didn’t feel herself.

“I think I had children for the wrong reasons, because I was craving unconditional love. I haven’t felt that since I was a child,” she said.

The 39-year-old singer has daughters Ethel, 13, and Marnie, 11, with ex-husband Sam Cooper and candidly revealed how she hoped pregnancy would help her put her career on hold and rekindle a love she ‘hadn’t felt since I was a child’ (pictured in 2022)

Lily added: ‘Also, my career was really taking off, I was under a lot of pressure and wanted to please everyone, and I felt overwhelmed by everything that was happening.

‘I just didn’t get much rest and I felt like the only way to stop people from bothering me was: it’s not about me, it’s about that other person inside of me.

“They left me alone, but I don’t think I really understood what I was getting myself into.”

After years as one of London’s most notorious party animals, she moved to the countryside in 2011 and had children.

Lily said in March that her two daughters had “completely ruined” her pop career because she chose to put them before her work. She said: “You can’t have everything.”

The former singer and actress said that she believes women have to choose between their children and their careers, and she chose the former.

“My kids have ruined my career. I love them and they complete me, but in terms of pop stardom, they’ve completely ruined it,” she told the Radio Times podcast.

“I get really irritated when people say you can have it all, because, quite frankly, that’s not true.”

Her father is actor Keith Allen, 70, who abandoned her mother Alison Owen, 63, when Lily was four. She has been open about their troubled relationship (pictured 2007)

In her podcast Miss Me?, Lily spoke candidly with her friend Miquita Oliver about how her desire to have children stemmed from a search for a love she herself had not felt.

“I think I had children for the wrong reasons, because I was craving unconditional love, which I hadn’t felt since I was a child,” she said.

She added: ‘Some people choose their career over their children and that’s their prerogative, but my parents were pretty absent when I was a child. I feel like it left some nasty scars that I don’t want to repeat on mine.’

Lily now lives in New York with her children and her new husband, Stranger Things star David Harbour, 49, whom she married in 2020 and who now acts.

In 2021, Lily discussed her troubled relationship with her father Keith, admitting they “haven’t spoken in a while.”

She told The Telegraph: ‘I honestly haven’t spoken to him in a while.’

“The last time I texted him was on Father’s Day and he texted back saying ‘Thanks.’ We haven’t been in touch in a while.”

In 2018, Lily revealed that Keith was furious when she claimed he had suffered a “cocaine-induced heart attack” at Glastonbury festival when she was 13. In reality, it was acute food poisoning.

Lily confessed: ‘I got a pretty angry text from him this weekend. There was a big chunk [in the press] and he texted me, ‘Uh, cocaine-induced heart attack at Glastonbury. Wow.’

‘And I said, ‘I’m sorry, that’s what I thought… I’m really sorry if I’m wrong, but that’s how I remembered it and you never explained it to me any other way, so that’s what I wrote down,’ and he said, ‘Well, that’s not true.’

And I said, ‘I’m really, really sorry if I’m wrong, what was it?’ And he said, ‘Acute food poisoning.’

In March, Lily said her two daughters had ‘completely ruined’ her pop career because she chose to prioritise them over work – insisting: ‘You can’t have it all’ (pictured 2019)

She added: ‘My parents were quite absent when I was a child. I feel like it left some ugly scars that I don’t want to repeat on mine’ (pictured with her father in 2007)

Of her relationship with her father, she said: ‘I had a close bond with him and as a teenager I wanted to build a bond with him, so I went to see a Fulham game with him and his friends every Saturday and it got really good at some point.’

Shortly after Lily was born, Keith began an affair with the wife of a police sergeant who lived near the set of a film he was working on in Dorset. By 1989, the marriage to Alison had ended.

Lily said: ‘One of my earliest memories is when Mum and Dad split up. We were sitting in our council flat in Bloomsbury and Dad said, ‘Mum and I are splitting up now.’

In 2015, Lily also tweeted, “My dad left me when I was 4 I’m sick of this. My dad was at Latitude when I headlined and didn’t even come over. I’ve probably spent more time walking my dogs than I have with my dad in my entire life.”