Lenny Kravitz is uncomfortable viewing himself as a victim decades after a disturbing sexual encounter as a teenager.
The 59-year-old singer-songwriter spoke with Esquire ahead of the release of his first album in five years, but he pushed back against describing unwanted sexual contact from a stranger as a “sexual assault.”
Kravitz — who also spoke in his recent interview about performing in a school musical with his childhood friend Nicolas Cage — wrote about the chilling incident in his 2020 memoir Let Love Rule, but the incident was only briefly described and he didn’t attempt to characterize it as an attack.
But when interviewer Madison Vain questioned him about the incident, he seemed to attribute his hesitation to call it a sexual assault to the norms of the time, as well as the fact that he didn’t feel “traumatized” afterward.
It is unclear exactly when the incident occurred, but sometime during his teenage years, in the late 1970s or early 1980s, Kravitz’s parents moved out of town, leaving him in the care of a male family friend, who was old enough to have an “uncle” to be. ‘ to him.
Lenny Kravitz, 59, resisted labeling an event he described in his 2020 memoir Let Love Rule as a “sexual assault” in an Esquire interview because it did not “traumatize” him; seen in September
But then the man invited some of his friends over while Kravitz was sleeping in bed, and a woman allegedly snuck into his room and got into his bed before touching him in a sexual manner, via Esquire.
While Kravitz didn’t use much ink at this point, he made it clear that the way he was violated would affect how he aimed to tweet the women he was romantically interested in in the future.
‘I wasn’t interested in convincing or coercing women [going forward],’ He wrote. ‘I was forced myself and I didn’t like it.’
Asked whether he now considered the touch an assault, a term he did not use in the book, he replied: “It was an experience and a lesson.”
He continued, “Everything doesn’t have to be this way…” before trailing off and readjusting.
He seemed to emphasize that his situation was not a reflection of how others might react to similar situations.
“I’m not saying there aren’t things that deserve to be addressed – maybe someone would say it should have been addressed and it was, whatever, but that’s the moment it was,” he continued.
“I lived and learned,” he added, before stating, “I wasn’t traumatized.”
While Kravitz talked about how “forced” sexual contact affected his relationships with women, he also wrote about how experiencing the dynamic between male and female high school students shaped his future relationships.
“I remember the girls always liked the bad guys,” he recalled in his memoirs, adding that he was determined to chart his own course and be his own man.
Kravitz wrote about an evening in his teens when a family friend who was watching him invited friends over. A woman then snuck into his bedroom while he was sleeping and started touching him; seen in the early nineties
“I’m not saying there aren’t things that deserve to be addressed – maybe someone would say it should have been addressed and that’s what it was, whatever, but that was the time,” he said when asked why he would do that. do not call the incident sexual assault; seen on November 17
“And it was like, if I have to act like her to have a girlfriend, I’m not down,” he wrote.
Elsewhere in the Esquire interview, Kravitz opened up about his struggles with infidelity over the years and his fear of commitment.
He admitted that he struggled with “trusting that this is the person for me, and always thinking that maybe something else would be better.”
Although he seemed to regret his past cheating, he described it as “part of the journey.”
“I helped some people through tough times,” he added.
Although he is currently single, Kravitz says he doesn’t rule out having a wife and children one day.
‘I’ve grown enough. I have become stronger. “I have become more disciplined,” he said. ‘I have become more open to it. But it was very difficult for me to figure it out.”
His only marriage was to actress Lisa Bonet, with whom he tied the knot in 1987.
The following year they welcomed their daughter Zoë Kravitz, who followed in her mother’s footsteps.
But Kravitz and Bonet separated in 1991, and the couple divorced amicably in 1993 after entering new relationships.
“I lived and I learned,” he added, before stating: “I wasn’t traumatized.”
Kravitz also spoke about becoming friends with ex-wife Lisa Bonet’s former husband, Jason Momoa. Jason and Lisa split in 2022; seen in 2018 with Jason’s mother Coni and children Nakoa-Wolf and Lola
The rocker also spoke briefly about his post-nuptial relationship with Bonet and her second husband Jason Momoa. The two started dating in 2005 and later married in 2017, but they separated in 2022.
Lenny became “Uncle Lenny” to their children, and he and Jason formed a strong friendship.
He believed that his relationship with Lisa and Jason was how “it should be” for exes, and he said he remained confident that he and Lisa could have a good relationship in the future, even if they felt were at their lowest point.
“I wouldn’t consider it this heroic feat,” he added. ‘To me this is just normal.’