I’m a leading gynaecologist and men need to work harder to reignite sexual desire in their partners during the peri-menopause
A leading gynecologist has claimed that men need to work harder to help women who say they experience a loss of sexual desire after having a child or approaching menopause.
Dr. Jen Gunter, author of the bestselling books The Vagina Bible and The Menopause Manifesto, spoke with host and DJ Annie Mac on the latest episode of her Changes podcast.
The Canadian gynecologist explained that often lost desire can be rediscovered, but it takes effort from both parties, something she said is sometimes lost in men.
On the latest episode of DJ Annie Mac’s podcast Changes, Canadian Dr. Jen Gunter discussed desire in women – and got candid about the role men can play in it.
The health worker said: ‘We’re all used to the narrative that women in a heterosexual relationship are hot and horny all the time, at the drop of a hat for a man’s touch… but desire needs to be cultivated.’
She continued, “If anyone ever tells me they have no desire, I always say, ‘What has your partner done in the past month to cultivate desire in your relationship?’
‘For some people, desire occurs after their partner has offered them sex. That’s called a receptive desire, and that’s normal.’
She said it was different from a lack of desire where women have difficulty becoming aroused even during sexual activity.
The Canadian gynecologist said many men are mediocre when it comes to doing their best to fulfill their partners
Mic drop…Dr. Gunter told listeners, “It’s very important that we don’t medicalize women to make up for incompetent men.”
Speaking about perimenopause, the period before menopause begins, Dr. Gunter, a Winnipeg native who regularly speaks on women’s physical and mental health, said: “It’s very important that we don’t medicalize women to make up for incompetent men.”
Ex Radio 1 start Annie responded to the comment by saying: ‘Drop the mic!’
Dr. Gunter, whose latest book, Blood, discusses menstruation, continued: “TThere are a lot of mediocre men, and there are a lot of mediocre men skating around, and by the time people have been with someone for twenty years, the cracks are already starting to show.
She explained, “Maybe you’ve been really busy with kids and other things, and now you finally have time to focus on your relationship, but when you haven’t focused on your relationship for a long time, it’s hard to get rid of it a bit. from 0 to 60 at night, right?
‘So it’s just important to think about it holistically. Everyone throws around this word ‘holistic’, but what it really means is looking at the whole person and looking at everything.”
From the comments on Annie’s Instagram page, many women said they could relate.
One wrote: ‘Mic drops and she’s on the nail. Desire is cultivated.’
Another added, “I love that you discuss all the nuances of why things can happen, and not just trigger a hormone to ‘fix’ things.
‘If you’re stressed, not sleeping and eating like shit – the desire for sex probably won’t be there. Does this mean you need testosterone? Or better self-care?’
One person joked: ‘Ooooooooooooh, I can almost hear those mediocre guys having a fit over this!’
Another said: ‘I’d like this on a t-shirt please.’