I’m a lawyer and this is the exact phrase to use when you receive a ‘bad apology’ – and it guarantees you’ll win any argument
- Jefferson Fisher is an American lawyer and argumentation expert
- He revealed how to elicit genuine apologies from people
A lawyer has revealed three foolproof phrases to use when dealing with someone who refuses to offer you a sincere apology.
Jefferson Fisher is a speech and legal expert – and he recently warned that a “bad apology” can heighten your emotions and leave you with less bargaining power in a conversation.
The attorney broke down three types of apologies — “no empathy,” “no apology,” and “apologies” — and laid out the best ways to combat them.
Jefferson argued that acknowledging the other person’s “non-apology” and being more specific about what you want them to say will do wonders.
He claimed that using a single sentence to point out someone’s rude behavior will prompt them to admit their mistake and give you the apology you deserve.
Jefferson Fisher is a speech and legal expert – and he recently warned that a “bad apology” can heighten your emotions and give you less bargaining power in a conversation
The ‘No Empathy’ Apology
The most important indicator of a “no empathy” apology is when people say, “Well, I’m sorry you feel this way.”
Jefferson advised that instead of getting angry and going on a tangent, just say, “Don’t apologize for my feelings, apologize for what you did.”
“You have to accept that you are responsible for your own feelings, and they have to be responsible for theirs,” he said in a video.
Many people use specific language to shift the blame onto someone else and avoid taking responsibility for their actions.
The ‘no apology’ excuse
Jefferson revealed that people often respond to a tense situation by saying, “I’m sorry you’re offended.”
As with the “no empathy” apology, draw attention to their actions rather than your reaction.
“You have to tell them to apologize for the cause, not the effect,” the lawyer said.
The ‘excuse’ apology
People tend to blame the circumstances around them for their bad deeds instead of expressing sincere regret.
“If someone says they’re sorry but they’re very stressed, listen to this,” Jefferson said.
He usually advises people to take away the power of the excuse by acknowledging that it is insufficient reason.
“Tell them not to apologize for what their stress has done to them,” he said.
“But they should apologize for what it did to you.”
A lawyer has revealed three foolproof phrases to use when confronted by someone who refuses to offer you a sincere apology
Many thanked Jefferson for his advice, but shared their experiences with difficult people.
“As soon as I hear a ‘but,’ it’s not an apology,” said one woman.
“It’s still very hard with a narcissist,” another woman revealed. “I never hear sincere apologies or behavior changes.”
“This is great advice – I’ve needed it for years!” a third wrote.