The late PGA Tour star Grayson Murray told his father: ‘I don’t want to be here anymore’, about three weeks before his tragic suicide last May, it has been revealed.
Murray died on May 25 at the age of 30, one day after withdrawing from the Charles Schwab Challenge due to illness.
And on May 5, at his family’s home in Raleigh, North Carolina, he expressed suicidal thoughts to his father, Eric, the father recalled in a new post. Golf overview story.
The father and son are said to have cried as they sat together in the family’s living room.
The Golf Digest story also told how an accident in 2014 exacerbated the emotional problems Murray had been dealing with up to that point.
Grayson Murray struggled with depression and anxiety before committing suicide at the age of 30
Murray celebrates after winning the Sony Open in Hawaii at Waialae Country Club in January
He hit his head on the sidewalk after a bicycle accident while attending Arizona State University, which reportedly caused him to have less energy and more dramatic mood swings.
An MRI showed that Murray used only 20 percent of the right side of his brain.
“That was the beginning of fatalism,” his father said. “The worse it got, the more he talked, and what he kept saying over and over again was, ‘I don’t think anyone can help me.’
After his disturbing conversation with his father on May 5, he competed in the Wells Fargo Championship the next day – and finished tied for 10th.
Murray also spoke to his brother Cameron two days before his death, with the golfer saying he planned to visit his sibling in Aruba after completing the Charles Schwab Challenge.
“Some of the harder times were when things would go right. I hope,” said his father, Eric. … It was always a fight for all of us.”
His sister, Erica, added that the lifestyle of a professional golfer took its toll, with Murray often turning to gambling as a “distraction” from his feelings, he told a member of a local country club in Raleigh.
“He didn’t like being on the road,” Erica said. ‘He was a homebody, he got his energy from family and friends. Stuck in hotel rooms, [away] of people he could trust gave him a number.’
A locker in the Pinehurst clubhouse was dedicated to Murray after his tragic death
Because Murray’s death occurred less than a month before he was scheduled to return to NC to play in the US Open at Pinehurst, the USGA opted to still pay tribute to him during the tournament.
Organizers kept his locker in the clubhouse and taped a poignant message to the front.
The silver plaque bears his name and reads next to it: “The USGA remembers Grayson and pays tribute to the playing achievements that earned his place in the 124th US Open Championship.”
Below that is a quote: ‘Be kind to each other’.
A moment of silence and an honorary tee time was also held at his local club in Raleigh, while his heartbroken caddy was invited to carry a PGA Tour official’s bag during a tournament, giving him a chance to be “normal.” in the aftermath of the disaster. tragic events.
Prior to his death, Murray had previously spoken openly about his battles with depression, anxiety and alcoholism.
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If you or someone you know is considering suicide, contact the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by calling 988, text ‘STRENGTH’ to the Crisis Text Line on 741741 or visit 988lifeline.org.