King Charles should meet with Harry quietly and privately because as the van Straubenzee family shows, you never know when you might lose a child… or anyone you love, writes ANGELA MOLLARD

Of all the things Claire van Straubenzee might have wished for today, I am sure the most important of them was not an MBE.

Of course, she is probably very grateful for the honor being recognized for her services to children’s education in Uganda, but no doubt she would give it away in a heartbeat to spend one more day with Henry, the son she welcomed in December 2002. lost in a car accident.

One has to wonder whether this sad irony is not lost on Mrs. Straubenzee or her dear friend King Charles.

After all, he is – according to Prince Harry’s spokesperson yesterday – a father who is too busy to see his son, while she is a mother who will never see hers again.

With that terrible loss in mind, Charles should meet Harry, quietly and privately, because as Straubenzee’s family shows, you never know when you lose a child. Or really anyone you love.

It’s not that the monarch can’t connect the dots. Both baby boys were christened Henry and were childhood best friends. According to the Duke of Sussex’s memoir Spare, Henry ‘Henners’ Straubenzee was the only boy who asked him about his mother, Diana, Princess of Wales, after she was murdered.

Claire Straubenzee (pictured above with her husband Alex) is probably very grateful for an MBE recognizing her services to children’s education in Uganda, but she would undoubtedly give it away in a heartbeat to spend one more day with Henry (right), the son , she lost in December 2002 in a car accident

How heartbreaking that just five years after her death, the then 18-year-old died under equally terrible circumstances in a car crash near Ludgrove Prep, his and Harry’s former school.

It was in honor of her son that Mrs. Straubenzee worked so tirelessly to provide other children with a meaningful life, even as her beloved middle son was denied that.

Knowing this, I’m surprised the monarch doesn’t meet his own son, even for a moment. The safety of our children is never guaranteed and having been diagnosed with cancer, I would have thought that the king would have had reason to reflect on the fragility of our existence. Thoughts of mortality usually lead families to at least try to heal their wounds.

If there was ever a time to gently extend an olive branch, this is it. Meeting Harry could have been both a kindness and a test: the former because parenting is an act of unconditional love; the latter because Harry, rightly, needs to regain the trust of his family.

How simple, how complicated it would have been if the pair had enjoyed a pot of tea and a quick chat about his grandchildren, without any of us knowing. After all, any reconciliation could only come through small steps and Harry’s promise not to talk about it.

Should we instead believe that this is it? That the relationship can no longer be repaired? That there will be no reconciliation, or certainly not until the Duke of Sussex is made to think more deeply and for a longer period of time about the consequences of his actions?

Charles is – according to Prince Harry’s spokesperson yesterday – a father who is too busy to see his son. Above: Harry greeted his father alongside Prince William at their mother Princess Diana’s 10th anniversary service in 2007

Charles and Harry happy to be in each other’s company at the premiere of ‘Our Planet’ at the Natural History Museum in 2019

Frankly, Harry’s behavior and betrayal of the royal family was monstrous. Especially his criticism of Queen Camilla and the Prince and Princess of Wales. But we never know how long it will take to make things right. We always only have that now.

Instead, right now, even though Harry is only two miles from his father’s house, there is no invitation. The monarch is throwing a garden party at Buckingham Palace and his son has announced, either out of clarification or out of self-pity, that he will not see his father.

As a spokesperson for the Duke said: ‘In response to many questions and ongoing speculation as to whether or not the Duke will meet his father this week whilst in Britain, this will unfortunately not be possible due to the full program of His Majesty. .’

Lest this “unfortunate” situation be seen as a dig, the spokesperson continued: “The Duke obviously understands his father’s diary with commitments and various other priorities and hopes to see him soon.”

Prince William, who awarded the Member of the Order of the British Empire (MBE) to Mrs Straubenzee earlier today at Windsor Castle, has every right not to want to see his brother. His wife’s health comes first and even the slightest stress is not something he would want to invite into his family.

But parental love is different. It requires that we forgive. It requires us to be the bigger person. It requires an examination of the reasons for Harry’s anger and the recognition that as parents we can hurt our children in ways we only understand years later. Harry has used both books and has favored media factions to exact revenge on members of his family, but didn’t both his parents do the same? In any case, as parents say to their children from toddlerhood onwards: ‘I love you even if I don’t like your behavior.’

Prince Harry was seen leaving the Honorable Artillery Company in central London yesterday after attending an Invictus event before the thanksgiving service at St Paul’s Cathedral today

King Charles with his son at the dedication service for the late Queen at St George’s Chapel, Windsor in September 2022

Prince William and Prince Harry walk side by side after viewing the floral tributes for the late Queen Elizabeth II outside Windsor Castle

Prince Harry hugs Claire van Straubenzee as Prince William looks on as both boys launched the Henry van Straubenzee Memorial Fund in 2008

I’m sure the late Queen would have seen Harry if she were still alive. She would not necessarily have been effusive or questioning, and he might have been less successful than some of her prime ministers. But in the same way she continued to love and support Prince Andrew, she would have kept the door open for her grandson.

Whether it was busy or not, this was an ideal opportunity for the King to see Harry. The Duke is here without his wife and he is celebrating the tenth anniversary of the Invictus Games, which in everyone’s eyes is a meaningful and moral triumph.

Just like Claire van Straubenzee, the participants in those games know that life can change in an ordinary moment. It is in their honor and in memory of a teenage boy who, according to Prince Harry, was ‘all heart’ that the monarch should make a moment for his son.