Kesha reveals she mistook anxiety for a ‘psychotic break’ but was saved through her ‘spiritual’ side

Kesha was candid about dealing with anxiety, admitting she mistook it for a “psychotic break” as she discussed new album Gag Order with Zane Lowe of Apple Music on Wednesday.

The Timber hitmaker, 36, who celebrated the release of the fifth studio album last week on May 19, revealed that “leaning” to her “spiritual” side had helped her during that time.

“I went through this crazy psychedelic spiritual experience in the midst of the fear,” the singer told the host, adding that “it was pure fear.”

“My brain felt like… I thought maybe it was the process of a psychotic break or something. But once I started leaning into it, I thought, “Well, it happens, so what am I going to do about it?” she continued.

The star stated that she had “this full-blown psychedelic trip sober,” which inspired one of the 13 tracks on the LP titled Eat The Acid.

“But after that I really started to lean into it,” revealing, “I’m a three-way Pisces. I like weird, inexplicable, spiritual, supernatural things.”

Notably, the Tik Tok hitmaker has her own podcast called, Kesha And The Creepies, and also starred in her Discovery+ series, Conjuring Kesha.

“So after this happened to me, I went down, like a total… it’s my rabbit hole that I’m currently in, it’s just the paranormal and also other spirituality, like different things that people believe in. try to read about it because I feel like we’re all talking about the same thing.’

While talking to Zack, Kesha opened up about getting “true joy,” saying, “Before Gag Order, I really wanted to reclaim my joy.” And there were certainly superficial elements to doing that.”

“But unfortunately I find I really had to go in my head, all the places, into the deep dark corners and process the shit before I could have any semblance of real joy and real happiness.”

She also referenced the last song on the album called Happy, talking about “working on herself.”

“It’s about me wanting to be happy, I want to let go. I want to be free. I want to trust the process, trust the universe, all those things,” she explained touchingly to Zack.

“And I feel like I can’t just stay in my childish self. So there’s an element of having to grow up,” the singer continued.

“And I feel like this album completely documents the time when I was like, ‘Okay, I’m dealing with some shit and I just have to walk through it, and it’s going to get really awkward.’

The Grammy nominee added, “I feel like it really helped me become a woman, and you know, you hear it all on the album.”

Kesha worked with creative director Brian Roettinger for the cover art and visualizers for several tracks on the LP. She also teamed up with producer Rick Rubin to create the 13 tracks for Gag Order.

During the Apple Music interview, the beauty reflected on her time working closely with Rubin, revealing that the experience has “now made me fall in love with music again because I remembered why we all love it and why I loved it.”

“The whole process with Rick that amazed me was being present in how I feel and letting it come into the song in a way that felt like it was a reflection of a feeling, a sound that reflects a feeling,” she gushed.

“And I had just never made art for that purpose before, like unconsciously. I didn’t really know.’

“But when we were making these songs with Rick, we never talked about singles, radio, anything. It was just, “We’re making a song about how you feel.” And that still surprises me a bit, because all my life there was an illusion of what it was for.’

During an interview with Rolling stone earlier this month, Kesha opened up about the LP, saying, “I feel like I’m commanding the most intimate thing I’ve ever made.”

“I’ve really delved into some of my uglier emotions and sides of myself that are less fun. It’s scary to be vulnerable.’

She went on to tell the outlet, “The fact that I’ve put together a whole record of these emotions, of anger, insecurity, fear, sadness, pain, regret, it’s all so unnerving — but it’s also so healing.”

Kesha is involved in an ongoing lawsuit with record producer, Dr. Luke, due to allegations that he abused her both sexually and emotionally.

Following the allegations, the producer, whose real name is Lukasz Sebastian Gottwald, sued the singer for libel. A new court date has been set for later this year in July.

Before her fifth studio album became available to anticipated fans, Kesha released three singles from the LP, including Eat The Acid, Fine Line, and Only Love Can Save Us Now, which she called a “desperate and angry prayer.”

To celebrate the dropping of Gag Order, last week Kesha along with creative director Brian Roettinger put together an art show at LA’s Sized Studio to pay tribute to the newly released album.

The singer has recently been romantically linked to film producer, Riccardo Maddalosso, and the two shared a kiss on a getaway earlier this month.

During the Apple Music interview, Kesha briefly touched on her difficulty fully trusting romantic partners. “I have people that I implicitly trust so much in my life, so I’m very lucky with that.”

But I have a harder time in romantic relationships with complete trust. I’m gonna be honest with you. And yes, it’s something I’m working on.”