A thirsty congressional staffer has plunged the nation into an X-rated tape crisis not seen since Kim K, after his lurid sexcapades flooded the Internet on Friday.
Oh mercy, how this young buck fell into disgrace when he was quickly relieved of his duties as a staffer to Democrat Senator Ben Cardin. His crime? Filming an amateur gay porn… IN A SENATE MAIN HALL.
How did we get here?
We were promised that Trump's despicable America would be replaced by decency, normalcy and a family-friendly neck-sniffer that would return us to friendly tranquility.
Instead, we've been bombarded with money bags from the White House, endless nude portraits of Hunter's 50 shades of crack buildup, topless trans activists from Rose Garden, and an open invitation for anyone with a kink to exercise it on government property.
A thirsty congressional staffer has plunged the nation into an X-rated tape crisis not seen since Kim K, after his lurid sexcapades flooded the Internet on Friday.
Oh mercy, how this young buck fell into disgrace when he was quickly relieved of his duties as a staffer to Democrat Senator Ben Cardin. His crime? Filming an amateur gay porn… IN A SENATE MAIN HALL. (Photo: Hart Senate Building, Room 216).
In the past, lunatics and idiots had to queue at seedy sex shops to see what sailors dream of when they set sail on the Guamanian coast.
Now you pop a line of nose candy from a locker in the West Wing and then head to the Hart Senate Building for a quick look at the camera before calling for the genocide of the Jews — you know, all in the name of free speech.
What is sickening about this accelerated madness is the pathological inability of libertine perverts to take even a shred of responsibility for their indiscretions.
This was the statement from Cardin's hot right-hand man this weekend: “This has been a difficult time for me as I have been attacked because of who I like to pursue a political agenda for.”
Who do you love? Please!
You didn't make people throw up on their breakfast juleps because of 'who you love'; they're angry because this sordid Senate affair has exposed you as an undisciplined, entitled, terribly stupid and wildly disrespectful maniac.
Look, I know shame died a long time ago – but can't we stop feigning victimhood, rigged as an imaginary political witch hunt?
Angry Republicans didn't tie you to that chair in the hearing room to help Trump win Michigan. (Even if there are reports claiming that the Red vs. Blue fantasies are causing a boom in the BDSM business).
This year has been an absolute dandy for fetish freaks everywhere (I'm looking at you, Ms. Strap-on Z-cuppies, transgender Canadian teacher Kayla Lemieux).
But when shall we say, from filth in schools to open defecation and indecency enough is enough?
This year has been an absolute dandy for fetish freaks everywhere (I'm looking at you, Ms. Strap-on Z-cuppies, transgender Canadian teacher Kayla Lemieux (pictured)). But from filth in schools to open defecation and indecency, when will we say enough is enough?
I'm not suggesting we return to a nation of prudes with pearls. But my wish for the new year is a rediscovery of the proper compartmentalization and public-private demarcation of adult life – instead of everyone just shooting everything out of a pornographic confetti cannon and not caring where the rubble falls.
Here's a thought: In 2024, I won't need to see the naked man of the First Son.
Nor do I need to be told that I'm a terrible person for suggesting that the same shady guy shouldn't feed on the platter of corrupt foreign energy boards or make money off Commie connections.
But here's where we get to the heart of the matter: If it's okay for the president's son to spend $870,000 on whores and sex clubs while avoiding his tax bill, why wouldn't all Tom, Dom and Dick launch an OnlyFans side? fussed with lurid videos filmed in the same Senate chamber where former FBI Director James Comey gave his infamous testimony on Russian interference?
Hunter is evading responsibility because of his “addiction,” fabulist George Santos says he's not white, and now the sex plague in the Senate says his sexuality is keeping him from criticism.
If it's okay for the president's son (pictured) to spend $870,000 on whores and sex clubs while avoiding his tax bill, why wouldn't every Tom, Dom and Dick set up an OnlyFans hill with lurid videos filmed in the same situation ? Former FBI Director James Comey in the Senate Chamber gave his infamous testimony about Russian interference?
The threadbare cloak of victimhood is a symbol of national ills, a decline in civil society from coast to coast, and moral standards that have been shattered.
One day we will wake up and wade through the jetsam, bring in the blacklights and the bleach, and these creepers will be held accountable.
Or at least I hope so. Because who wants to live in a world where we have to carry Clorox wipes to disinfect every office chair or work station?
We've already survived a pandemic – perhaps the unstoppable freaks who insist on destroying it for the rest of us should be locked up permanently.