KARA KENNEDY: Okay, I’m ready for the Swiftie slapback… Taylor is cringe, unoriginal and wildly overhyped. When WILL the millions in this cultish collective trance shake it off?

Taylor Swift has become a goddess to professional women in their 30s with dwindling love lives.

Taylor’s fans, “Swifties,” have created a cult-like reverence around the singer. If you are not in, you are the enemy. If you’re not there, you’re missing something.

Known as one of the meanest fan groups online, Swifties won’t think twice before sending you death threats, doxing your friends and family, or trying to hack into your social media accounts.

One reporter was even publicly accused of being a pedophile by Swifties for having the audacity to criticize Taylor’s current worldwide tour.

When I asked my girlfriends why they booked whole days off in the small hope of getting tickets to the wildly popular Eras shows, the answers were as follows:

“Her songs are so catchy.”

“She seems to represent the millennial female experience so well.”

‘I don’t even really like her. I got tickets because of FOMO.”

Really, people who freely waste — in some cities — north of $1000 for a ticket to see a woman they’re not too fussed about? Maybe following the crowd really does make life easier.

Known as one of the meanest fan groups online, Swifties won’t think twice before sending you death threats, doxing your friends and family, or trying to hack into your social media accounts.

In fact, I’m probably making myself an open target by saying I just don’t get it.

At twenty-five years old, I’m the prime target audience to be a die-hard fan.

I, too, have had quite a few failed relationships and horrible ex-boyfriends. I’m not above a catchy song and like Taylor, I also love cats.

But when it comes to Swift, I never got it. And as her fandom grows more and more deranged, as the media flocks to her side, publishing breathless op-eds about how she single-handedly fends off the US recession with a tour expected to gross a record-breaking $1.4 billion, or how her massive fans have caused literal “earthquakes” at stadium venues (fact check: these quakes are common on major stadium tours and sports games), I can’t help but think that this deification of Taylor Swift isn’t healthy—nor deserved.

For me, Taylor Swift is fine. And there will be many more like them. But somehow the universe is in a collective trance, unable to admit it.

If you read the New York Times this week, you will have seen a dance critic call Taylor’s moves “simple and unoriginal,” “stiff and clumsy,” “imprecise and physically uncommitted,” yet conclude that this parade of clumsiness ” powerful’ and ‘extremely effective’.

In fact, I’m probably making myself an open target by saying I just don’t get it. But when it comes to Swift, I never got it. For me, Taylor Swift is fine. And there will be many more like them. But somehow the universe is in a collective trance, unable to admit it.

Now, of course, you don’t have to be a fan of Taylor to appreciate what she’s clearly talented at.

The songwriting is indeed excellent on the handful of songs she rewinds, rewrites and repeats over and over for each ‘new’ album.

Her lyrics are recognizable to some extent. (Even if, after yet another failed relationship, they question which member of the couple is the toxic narcissist.)

She plays guitar, piano, ukulele and banjo. She treats her staff very well – she reportedly handed out six-figure bonuses to the tour crew earlier this month – and is known for being generous.

She probably also volunteers at the soup kitchen on weekends and spends thousands of dollars a month sponsoring orphans. She’s perfect! She is God!

But this is the main reason why I dislike her so much; Taylor Swift is a beautifully crafted marketing ploy. She is a character and she not Real.

It’s truly genius – this indisputable female commercial success story worth a whopping $740 million and counting, and she’s never had rehab or a problem with a prescription pill.

Is that why she makes me feel nothing? The lack of perseverance, the ingredient that made me obsess over Miley Cyrus or admire Britney Spears.

Taylor was a teen made for teens — and it worked. So much so that she is now thirty-three years old and still clearly designed to appeal to sugary adolescents who are so devoted to her that they would spend their monthly salary – or rather their parents’ – on a ticket to her shows .

She’s innocent, largely sexless, unapologetically cringing – so yes, maybe she reflects the general experience of modern young women.

Taylor Swift is a beautifully crafted marketing ploy. She’s a character and she’s not real. It’s truly genius – this indisputable female commercial success story worth and counting a whopping $740 million, and she’s never had a stint in rehab or a problem with a prescription pill. Is that why she makes me feel nothing? The lack of spice.

There must be more to her, but I’m not sure we’ll ever see that.

The seemingly uncharacteristic love affair with accused racist and stage madman Matt Healy? The infamous Kanye scandal?

Come on, girl, show us the dirt!

Until then, I’ll comfort myself by picturing her backstage, pulling off a perfectly blonde wig to reveal a femme fatale bob, throwing cigarette ash on one of her cats and cackling about getting away with the whole grift .

On the other hand, if her adoring fans and uncritical critics peeked behind the curtain and spied on such a sight, they’d probably find a way to describe their own fur as powerful and inspiring, and rush to buy even more tour tickets. to buy.