Kamala’s dad says she’s a ‘travesty’, Tim’s brother thinks he’s unfit to serve – and the Walz cousins are voting for Trump! So, demands KENNEDY, what else is hiding in these family closets

The Waltz are getting closer.

After the older brother of Minnesota Governor Tim Schmaltz announced on Facebook last week that he will vote for Trump in November, another devastating family bombshell exploded on social media on Wednesday:

A photo of eight members of Tim Walz’s extended family, dressed in matching “Nebraska Walz’s (sic) for Trump” T-shirts.

That set the attack dogs’ tongues wagging.

If Timmy’s flesh and blood votes against him, they wondered, shouldn’t we all?

It turns out the Nebraska Walzs are descendants of Tim Walz’s grandfather’s brother—and the two branches of that gnarled tree never grew close together.

Still, it’s another big blot on an ugly portrait of the most obscure vice presidential candidate in modern political history.

When politically fratricidal Jeff Walz was asked on Facebook if he could stop his little brother from drinking the pinko Kool-Aid, he replied:

“Haven’t spoken to him in 8 years. I’m 100 percent against all his ideology. My family didn’t get any notice that he was selected and didn’t get any security for days after.”

Nicely done, joy brigade. No one at Camp Kamala thought to stop this bitter black sheep from bleating?

When reporters encountered Toothy Tim’s Cain in the blood-red Florida Panhandle, his big brother had even more aggressive words.

‘[Tim Walz is] not the type of character you want making decisions about your future.’

What? Tell me! If this guy is a total creeper, America needs to be informed.

Walz’s carefully choreographed “oh no” act, in which he shares recipes for casseroles, looks as fake as Joe Biden’s hair transplants.

Tim lied about his business past, advertised his military service and coaching career, and outright lied about his wife’s fertility treatments.

When asked why he ever claimed to have carried a gun “in wartime” when he had never been to a war zone, he said he was an idiot.

“My wife, the English teacher, told me that my grammar isn’t always correct,” he squeaked.

Maybe he is related to the Nebraska Waltzs after all!

Could it be that Minnesota Tim from The Land Of 10,000 Fakes is a cold-blooded, calculating weirdo posing as Jan met de Klerk?

Local soccer coach?

Account.

Gay Student Faculty Advisor?

Account.

High school teacher who drove drunk?

Oops!

And the aspiring vice president is not the only one estranged from his family.

Lady Boss Mamala has a pretty bad relationship with her Popala.

Donald Harris owns a home less than a mile from the White House, but there is no record of him ever visiting his daughter there.

In 2018, Big Daddy went ballistic when Kamala joked about smoking devil’s lettuce and blew a cloud of the stinky stuff over his Jamaican side of the family.

“Half my family is from Jamaica, right?” she laughed.

The Dutchman Donald couldn’t laugh about it.

“My dearly departed grandmothers… and indeed my late parents must now be turning in their graves as they see their family’s name, reputation and proud Jamaican identity being associated in any way, jokingly or not, with the deceptive stereotype of a pot-smoking hedonist and the pursuit of identity politics,” he wrote.

‘On behalf of myself and my immediate Jamaican family, we would like to expressly distance ourselves from this disgrace.’

Pantsuit Pinocchio and Coach Falsehood may be great for each other, but if their estranged relatives are any measure of their integrity, they could be a disaster for the country.

Washing, drying or… oh dear!

Katy Perry’s music isn’t selling as well as it used to, and the Teenage Dream star, who is now just a month away from her 40th birthday, is starting to feel desperate.

On the podcast ‘Call Her Daddy,’ Perry revealed her X-rated trick to avoiding the age-old problem of dishwashing hands.

You see, when her partner Orlando Bloom leaves the kitchen spotless, she rewards him with his own oral cleaning service.

Full disclosure: Orlando once got a massage at my place. Why? A real lady never rubs and tells.

Benevolent ‘retail’ queen

Never one to shy away from talking about herself, the Duchess of Montecito has been busy singing her own praises for her investment in ‘Cesta Collective’, a bag brand that has its high-end products made in Rwanda.

Meghan said of the new venture last month: ‘I spend a lot of time Googling, just looking at brands… When I know there’s a global spotlight and attention is being paid to every detail of what I’m wearing or not wearing, I support designers who I have really good friendships with… that’s one of the most powerful things I can do, and that’s just wearing an earring, for example.’

Just think of all the “powerful things” she could do if she wore, say, two earrings.

Maybe she should spend less time Googling and more time promoting jam sales.

Meghan has reportedly struggled to find a CEO for her lifestyle brand American Riviera Orchard, which launched in March but has yet to materialize due to ongoing trademark filing issues.

George of the Bungle

George Clooney tries to rewrite the brutal history of the bloody coup to ostracize his ‘friend’ Joe Biden.

It was less than two months ago that Mad King George turned his poisonous pen on the pages of the New York Times, with a vicious op-ed decrying Sleepy Joe as old and unstable, headlined, “We Need a New Nominee.”

Now Clooney is the forgetful one, who authoritatively told reporters this weekend that the manner in which Joe retreated isn’t important (it is), but that “what should be remembered is the selfless act of someone who — you know, it’s very hard to let go of power.”

But he wouldn’t let go, would he George? You, Barack Obama and Nancy Pelosi stomped on his broken fingers until he couldn’t hold on any longer.

With friends like that…

Snake oil for sale

Former supermodel Elle Macpherson is acting extremely irresponsibly by claiming that chiropractic wizardry cured her breast cancer.

Dozens of experts had recommended more traditional treatments, such as chemo, radiation and a mastectomy. But The Body chose instead to seek refuge with shady doctors, including one who calls himself a “holistic dentist” and a woman who claims to have cured her cancer with a juice cleanse.

While it’s great that Macpherson is still alive and well, she seems unaware that her witchdoctor could be sending other women to their premature deaths.

You know who else initially opted for “non-traditional” cancer treatments like juice cleanses?

Steve Jobs.

I can’t hear you

Kamala Harris tries to avoid difficult questions as much as possible, to the point of being almost slapstick-like.

On Monday, she was spotted boarding Air Force Two with headphones in both ears and her phone taped to her ear as if she were on a call. The question shouldn’t be about her fear of cross-examination by reporters, but: Do you know how to use your iPhone, Madam Vice President?

Game, Set… Jerk

The miserable tennis player Yulia Putintseva is back at work.

The Kazakh racket-wielder infamously gave the crowd the middle finger after her loss at the 2019 Australian Open, and she outdid herself at this year’s US Open.

While Yulia-Gulia was going down to Italian sensation Jasmine Paolini, a cute ball girl tried to toss her balls for her next serve.

But this Putin esca just stood there like a statue, as the blurry green orbs bounced by.

That may be nonsense in Borat land, but New Yorkers don’t need a whiny loser.

Hunter The Brave

Robert Hunter Biden is a true pioneer.

The troubled First Bum was the first son of a sitting president to appear in court, the first to be convicted of a crime, the first to have nude photos of crack addiction published, the first (that we know of) to father a child with a stripper — and now the first to plead guilty to a laundry list of tax crimes.

Luckily for Hunty, Coma Joe can come to the rescue one more time with a presidential pardon or reduced sentence. And the Big Man doesn’t even have to get off his beach chair to do it.