And now some unpleasant truths about not coming home.
On June 7, the writing was already on the wall at Wembley. England 0-1 against Iceland was dismissed as a minor matter.
Stadium Fortress had fallen, but did the players really care? Just a warm-up, seemed the mood.
Well, even friendlies matter. They set the tone. In stone.
The really great footballers of England’s past – the two Bobbies, Robbo, Sir Tom, little Kevin, Sir Stanley, Gazza et al – did their utmost to win every game. When they lost, they kicked themselves, not others.
Jude Bellingham appears to be the Emma Raducanu of football – too much, too soon
His rush to advertising agencies, me-me attitude and selfish irritation? No, thank you.
Raducanu won the US Open in 2021 but has struggled to find the same form since
Two years earlier, a warning had been scrawled on the old ramparts of Molineux. England 0-4 Hungary. Only the Nations League, so the murmur went.
An inherent acceptance of defeat has a nasty habit of surfacing on the biggest stage. The odd moments of defiance are born from a vague sense of shame. Before the ultimate blame is conveniently apportioned elsewhere.
The image was painted on the pages of this and almost every newspaper. That of England’s poster boy posing in Kim Kardashian’s underwear on the eve of the European Championship.
Jude Bellingham appeared as soccer star Emma Raducanu. Too much too soon.
Talented, yes.
The rush to the advertising agencies, the me-me stuff, the yelling at referees, the fits of rage when it all goes wrong, the selfish irritation with teammates he apparently considers inferior, the diving that could have been better in the Olympic pool in Paris. No, thank you.
In Germany, Bellingham the Belligerent faded into Jude the Obscure, the two goals in stark contrast to the hours of aimless wandering.
An England captain in the making? Maybe, if he puts his attitude aside and grows up. A leader this summer after a sunny season in Madrid? I fear not.
Bellingham the Belligerent disappeared in Jude the Obscure in Germany, wandering aimlessly
Gareth Southgate is a gentleman and gave us hope but struggled against the elite
Spain have the next exciting generation and made our players look dull in comparison
Which brings us to the manager. Rumour has it that the boss gave preferential treatment to the player he considered England’s talisman, much to the chagrin of others who also reportedly decried the adverts portraying Bellingham as their saviour. How did that end, by the way?
Gareth Southgate is a gentleman and a gentle man. Decent down to the soles of his boots. Polite to his pursuers, more than necessary. As for captain Harry Kane and most of the squad who urged him to stay for another two years, players naturally like the man who picks them and is rarely, if ever, hard on them. But those pleasantries translated into understated performances.
Yes, England gave their long-suffering followers moments of joy, plucked from desperate attempts to regain lost causes. But they got into that predicament largely by playing on the fears of virgins trying to protect their virtue in Berlin’s red-light district of Mitte.
And finally, there was no way out against the only elite opponents they faced. No escape for Southgate from the wiles of Luis da la Fuente.
This England was hailed as the latest golden age. The Spanish manager delivered an exciting next generation in Sunday’s football final. By the time they had finished us off – it could easily have been 4-1 instead of a late winner – Southgate’s men looked dull by comparison and he himself seemed stuck in a time machine.
Major tournaments often produce new directions for the greatest game. Sir Alf Ramsey’s wingless wonders were an innovation in their own right and brought home England’s solitary World Cup.
The German high-tech power had its day. Italian coach Enzo Bearzot found a path to Brazilian beauty from the negative labyrinth of catenaccio. Dutch Total Football and French flair dazzled us. Brazil, Argentina and even Uruguay in their sepia days of yore turned on spotlights of incredible magic.
Now De la Fuente’s unstoppable youngsters have blazed a trail to a fresh new vision of the game, and in doing so have hurled themselves at lightning speed past the English hopes that were mired in their own hype. England had run out of not only luck, but miracles.
Bukayo Saka should have been crowned Footballer of the Year by writers – not Phil Foden
Whose brilliant idea was it to move Harry Kane back into midfield? It was probably Southgate’s
Declan Rice has scored just three goals in 58 caps for England. Is he really worth £100m?
Several misconceptions were exposed, and we, the media, were blamed for them. A majority of my colleagues in the Football Writers’ Association voted for Phil Foden, but the rightful Footballer of the Year was Bukayo Saka, as he proved in Germany. This young man had a greater individual impact on Arsenal than Foden had on a superior and more talented Manchester City.
Whether or not Harry Kane suddenly grew old at the European Championship, whose brilliant idea was it to move England’s all-time leading scorer from striker to that sticky swamp of midfield?
Probably the manager who has just resigned, perhaps realising that the battle to qualify from the weakest group and then get through the softer underbelly of the draw tells us more, much more than somehow reaching the final. In devastating contrast, Spain had to beat Germany, Italy and France on their way to sweeping England.
And as for Declan Rice, where on earth did the idea come from that he is one of the best midfielders of all time and worth every last penny of £100m? That perception has changed in Europe, with more and more pundits agreeing that his high percentage of accurate passes is due to the fact that he is constantly moving the ball sideways and backwards.
Bloody statistics. But there is one that stands up to scrutiny. In his 58 appearances for England since leaving Ireland, Rice has scored just THREE goals. Try these comparisons with priceless midfielders: Bobby Charlton 106 caps and 49 goals, Bryan Robson 90 caps and 26 goals, Frank Lampard 106 caps and 29 goals. If Rice gets to 100 caps at this rate, he will have scored five or six.
Not only that, but Spain have dramatically improved their football from the tippy-tac-toe game perfected by Pep Guardiola’s mesmerising teams. Speed and audacity are the new order and even John Stones – our Horatio on the bridge – could not prevent De la Fuente’s ninos – streaming through gaping channels in the England defence.
The great footballers of the English game aimed to win every game, not just the big ones
Football didn’t come home. Only the Southgate nerds who got off the plane to hide their fake celebrity behind the blacked-out windows of their limousines. It wasn’t just the manager who had to change, the bragging rights had to change too. And fast.
Because as it stands now, Viva-city is the future of the World Cup. And with the pace at which Spain is playing, the two years in America will fly by.