Jill Halfpenny reveals her secret battle with alcohol as she admits she would drink to ‘escape’ after struggling with the sudden death of her father
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Jill Halfpenny has admitted she drank to ‘escape’ and ‘stop overthinking’ after her father Colin died suddenly of a fatal heart attack when she was a child.
The 48-year-old actress, who has been completely sober for more than a decade, has bravely detailed her battle with alcoholism in her new memoir A Life Reimagined: My Journey of Hope in the Midst of Loss.
The former EastEnders star said she felt a ‘burden lifted off her shoulders’ when she mustered the courage to admit she was an alcoholic at an AA meeting in 2013.
Jill said she saw herself becoming a “different person” every time she drank to escape her normality.
In the book, she writes, “I began to realize that I became a different person when I drank, and I didn’t always like who I became.
Jill Halfpenny, 48, has admitted she drank to ‘escape’ and ‘stop worrying’ after her father Colin died suddenly of a fatal heart attack when she was a child
Jill with her father in an undated childhood photo. She says his tragic death was the catalyst for her excessive drinking
‘Alcohol helped me to escape for a long time, to stop thinking. Conversely, I thought it also helped me access whatever was dormant within me.”
Her father Colin died at the age of 36 after suffering a heart attack during a game of football. Jill was only four years old.
The mother-of-one admitted it took her a while to admit she needed professional help because she felt ‘shame’ and ‘despair’.
But it wasn’t until she saw a familiar face, a fellow actress, in the room that she felt calm and ready to make a change for herself.
Jill said it took several encounters before she could say the words “My name is Jill and I am an alcoholic,” but said it was the best thing she ever did.
Last week, Jill discussed finding love again after the death of her partner Matt Janes.
The Byker Grove actress felt ‘cursed’ when she lost Matt in 2017 to a fatal heart attack that mirrored the death of her father Colin four decades earlier.
Appearing on The One Show last week, Jill confirmed she is ‘in love’ again, although she gave no details about her new relationship.
The former EastEnders star said she felt a ‘burden lifted off her shoulders’ when she mustered the courage to admit she was an alcoholic at an AA meeting in 2013 (pictured last week)
Last week Jill discussed finding love again after the death of her partner Matt Janes in 2017 from a fatal heart attack (Jill and Matt pictured in 2016)
She said: ‘When you lose a partner or a romantic relationship, it can sometimes feel a bit like a betrayal if you move on and you don’t.
‘You can absolutely be happy again. If you do the process, the healing, and the work, you can enter into a new relationship and be happy again.
“If you haven’t been able to do that work, there will always be a part of you somewhere else. I think I deserve to be happy and I feel happy too and it’s very nice to be in love again.’
Jill shared how important it was for her to be honest with her son Harvey about the struggles she faced after Matt’s death.
She said: ‘When my partner died, I really wanted my son to know that you can be in a lot of pain and suffer a lot, but you can get through it.
‘I think it’s an important lesson for a child. Tell them: I will be okay, it will take some time, but I will be okay. I didn’t want to hide it from him.
“I wanted to be honest and say that I’m having a hard time, but I’ll be okay. I hope he learned a lot from that.’
A Life Reimagined: My Journey of Hope in the Midst of Loss by Jill Halfpenny is out now, published by Macmillan.