Jennifer Love Hewitt opens up about sobbing in the shower, Christmas movies and her bizarre heritage theory

Jennifer Love Hewitt has revealed she finds herself sobbing in the shower every Christmas morning, even though it’s her absolute favorite time of year.

She has also jokingly hinted that her heritage could hold the key to her outlook on life.

A self-proclaimed “holiday junkie,” the 45-year-old actress takes every opportunity to celebrate a holiday — from Valentine’s Day and St. Patrick’s Day to Easter, Fourth of July and Halloween.

And while December is “the most magical month of them all,” she says it’s also the “most emotionally complicated” month.

“It’s pure, it’s enchanting, it’s exciting and it brings equal parts joy and sadness,” she writes in her new book: Inherit magic‘Because for every person who feels connection, they feel a different loss. For every couple in love, there is someone lonely. For every perfect family, there is a broken family.”

The source of Hewitt’s grief is the tragic death of her mother in 2012, after a battle with cancer.

And she recently broke her silence about the heartbreak because she knew news media had heard about the death before she did.

The actress was traveling to Monaco for the 52nd Monte Carlo Television Festival at the time and only learned after her flight had landed that her 67-year-old mother, Patricia, had fallen into a coma.

In her book she writes: ‘It felt like a nightmare and I begged to wake up… this couldn’t be happening.

“I was able to catch the next flight and get home, but I never got a chance to say goodbye.”

The actress’s parents divorced when she was just six months old, and she describes how her mother had used the idea of ​​magic to deal with her own grief.

“It was also the way she expressed her love, through special moments, thoughtful touches and a deep belief that magic could exist even in difficult times.

“My mother moved beyond her pain and turned it into creating joy, magic and explosive love for us every day.”

So when Patricia died, she says, she was convinced all the magic was gone.

‘Magic would be something from my past. And for the first time, magic couldn’t help me through the incredible pain I felt.

‘While grieving, I thought I had lost that magic, because I had lost her. Instead, she left me an unforgettable gift that she praised in my heart: her magic.”

She has now taken up the mantle for her family: husband Brian Hallisay, 46, daughter Autumn, 10, son Atticus, nine, and son Aidan, three.

And in honor of her mom’s favorite time of year, she goes all out for Christmas.

“I truly believe that Ancestry.com has proof that I am a descendant of an elf or Claus himself,” she wrote. “It’s my favorite time of year, and yet for me there are still at least three mom breakdowns of ‘Can I get it all packed and ready in time?’ and one big I-miss-my-mother cry in the shower.’

And as her children scan the sky on Christmas Eve, looking for a sign that Santa Claus is on his way, she says she’s looking for a sign that her mother is still with her.

“As a child, I remember my mother beaming differently at that time of year.”

No matter how sad she feels, she says, “The magic of December really brings me back to life.”

Her family traditions include toasting with her husband’s “famous Christmas cocktail” once the tree is decorated.

“For him to be reading in his chair surrounded by the warm glow of light, and us sleeping among our decorations, fills my heart with joy and gives me such a comforting feeling.”

She also reveals her all-time favorite holiday movies, which she’ll watch once the presents are wrapped.

“It’s my favorite moment to put on The Holiday of Love Actually and remind myself of what we actually ordered!”

Her mother’s love of Christmas has even inspired a new film – The Holiday Junkie – in which Hewitt co-directs and stars with her husband and children.

Patricia, who worked as a speech therapist, brought her daughter from Waco, Texas, to Los Angeles in 1989 to break into show business; Hewitt began appearing on the show Kids Incorporated that year and later broke out with roles on the TV show Party of Five and the film I Know What You Did Last Summer.

In a 2022 post marking 10 years since her mother’s death, she wrote, “Someone told me after I lost my mother that the first year would feel impossible, the years that followed would build strength within me and that it tenth anniversary would be an open wound. all over again, because it would feel insane to have been without her for so long. They were right.

“I’ll never forget not being able to say goodbye,” she added. “I’ll never forget walking into her house that day, hoping she would somehow get around the corner, and waking up the day after praying it was all a bad dream.

“The countless times I accidentally called her when something good or bad happened because I forgot she couldn’t answer.”

This is the first time she has spoken in such detail about her mother and the rich legacy she left behind: ‘I had honestly never said that much about my mother after she passed away, because I didn’t have the words.

“I just didn’t know what to say, and this felt like the right time to talk about her and say, ‘This is what she left behind.’

Inheriting Magic: My Journey Through Sadness, Joy, Celebration, and Making Every Day Magical by Jennifer Love Hewitt is published by BenBella Books