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A Japanese exchange student has opened up about cultural differences in dating in the United States after a man she was dating invited her home to meet his family and later told her he just wanted to be friends.
Yumeka Umemori, 21, who is attending college in New York, has been documenting her study abroad experience in Tik Tokwhere he has more than 160,000 followers.
He recently went viral after opening up about a baffling dating mishap that would never have happened to him back home in Japan.
‘Did you know that we don’t actually have a ‘conversation stage’ in Japan? But we do it in America, right? she said. “So I was ready to experience some cultural differences in terms of dating.”
Yumeka Umemori, 21, a Japanese exchange student attending college in New York, went viral after documenting the cultural differences of dating in America.
She explained that a guy she had met on a dating app had invited her to his house after about five dates, and she was surprised to see that her parents and grandmother were there.
After giving her mixed signals, he told her he was focusing on himself and didn’t want “anything very serious,” even though his dating profile said he was “looking for a relationship.”
Umemori explained that she started dating a guy she met on an online dating app, and they had “dated like five times” when he first invited her to his house.
She agreed to come because ‘he was nice’ and ‘they were having fun’, but was stunned when she arrived to find her parents and grandmother there.
“I was going crazy because in Japan this doesn’t happen that much,” she said. “If you do this in Japan, it’s like you’re marrying that person or being in a really serious relationship with that person.”
Umemori said she had to remind herself that she was in the US, where this is probably normal behavior and “not a big deal.”
So I calmed down and introduced myself to his family. They were all nice,’ she recalled. ‘His father even asked me if I’m thinking of going back to the United States, so I can stay with [his son] more extensive.’
They had never defined their relationship, but the situation led her to believe that he was more serious with her than she had originally thought.
“I didn’t really ask him what we were or anything, but we weren’t in a relationship,” she said. “I was very happy about it, until I found out that he just wanted to be my ‘friend’.
‘I was like, ‘Excuse me?’ Like I didn’t get mad or anything. I was just curious. What was she thinking about the whole time?
Umemori felt ‘so disrespected’ that he had ‘lied’ to her about his intentions. She blocked it, but then decided to ‘use it for a bit’
She dated him two more times to use him for her car, and suddenly, he became interested in getting back together with her.
Umemori told her that she wasn’t interested, but was taken aback by the experience. ‘How are you?’ she asked
Umemori’s video has been viewed more than 542,000 times, with several commenters noting that he got the ‘real American dating experience’
Umemori explained that they were sitting on the couch when he told her that he was focusing on himself and didn’t want “anything super serious” because he was insecure about his past relationships.
She noted that on the dating app where they met, he had listed that he was “looking for a relationship.” She felt ‘so disrespected’ that he had ‘lied’ to her about her intentions.
“I blocked it and I hated it, but like I had this second thought: ‘Why don’t I use it for a while?'” he said. So I decided to use it as a transportation system because I had a car. I’m not as bad as this, but this time I was pissed off.’
Umemori said she started texting him again and they dated two more times after their disastrous visit to her home.
“The last time before I left, he said to me, ‘You know, we’ve been dating for quite a while and I was thinking of asking you if you want to be my girlfriend or something,'” she recalled. ‘And I said: ‘No’.
“I’m like, ‘Okay, I’ll make friends with the guys first, and I’ll be more than friends after that.” But how are you? I don’t know.’
Umemori’s video has been viewed more than 542,000 times since it was posted on January 29, and has received more than 1,000 comments.
Many people noted that he had an authentic American dating experience.
“That’s the real america dating experience lol,” one person wrote, while another added, “You had the real america dating experience.”
“So when a person says they’re not looking for anything serious, they just don’t mean anything serious WITH YOU,” another clarified.