JANA HOCKING: To all the married women who feel threatened by me, address your insecurities

This is a public service announcement to all women who are married and feel threatened by us single women.

Are you ready? I’m going to be perfectly frank about it.

We do NOT want to fuck your husband.

As a perennially single girl, I’ve had to build a tough skin, but I’m tired of getting icy stares from wives at parties if I’m talking to your husband.

I’m sick of being excluded from dinner parties because I once laughed too hard at a joke your husband made. I’m sick of the ‘harmless’ comments about what I’m wearing, the not-so-subtle looks I get if I make the mistake of showing a little cleavage.

I am a talkative person. I like to socialize with both men and women. This does not mean that I am trying to get your husband out of your tight control. OMG I have my own single girl dramas to deal with. I don’t have time to be chasing married men.

This topic became very clear to me a few years ago when I was on a business trip. I was the only girl on the team and we were traveling interstate. A few days before leaving, one of the men on our team told us that his wife was coming too. We all found it a bit strange as it was a hectic trip without a lot of downtime.

Fast forward a few days and we’re on the interstate enjoying a boozy dinner after a busy day. His wife ends up getting pretty drunk and during a quick trip to the bathroom to freshen up, she insults me: “The only reason I’m on this trip is because she had to find out.” I needed to know if you’re the type of girl who would try to sleep with my husband.’

First of all brutal. And secondly, offensive.

Now, thankfully, she realized that no, I’m not that ‘type of girl’ and we ended up having a really fun trip. But since when did all single women copy the scarlet letter?

Talking to a friend about it recently, he admitted that it’s the reason he left his rural town to live in a city. She watched all of her friends marry her and realized that they no longer invited her to anything. She is a very attractive woman and suddenly she was on the outside. I think it’s because her married ‘friends’ felt threatened? Absolutely.

“Before I’m inundated with angry messages from married women, let me just say that they’re not all women,” says Jana.

But here’s the thing…it’s not us you have to worry about. It’s your husband. Seriously, if you scroll through my Instagram direct messages a bit, you’ll find plenty of married men trying to chat me up, send me a publicity photo, or say something inappropriate under one of my photos. And I don’t think it’s because I’m something special, I just think they want to see if they ‘still got it’.

And these men are not particularly bright. They usually have a profile photo showing their partner or wife, and lots of “happy family” photos on their insta page.

If you feel threatened, it’s not from us. I feel like you probably realized that your husband is a fake guy. Instead of treating us single girls like the plague, how about addressing your insecurities with your man? Hey, some of them might be justified.

Before I’m inundated with angry messages from married women, let me tell you that it’s not all women. My best friend is married and I have never had a problem with her. Because? Because she’s in a healthy marriage. Also, she knows how hard it is to be single in these modern times. She’s aware that I’m too busy trying to avoid the plague of Peter Pans and f-boys to even bother with her friend.

‘Instead of treating us single girls like the plague, how about addressing your insecurities with your man? Hey, some of them might be justified,’ says Jana

So stop thinking we see a wedding ring and think ‘challenge accepted’. To me, it’s more of a ‘deal breaker’.

And maybe instead of avoiding us or turning your back on us, how about you start inviting your single friends to your dinner parties and other social events? We are great guests. Seriously, we can share wacky stories from our most recent bad dates, remind you why you’re lucky to be in a relationship, and bring wine as our side.