Jana Hocking: There’s a dirty X-rated little secret a lot men have that they’re not telling you

Question for the dudes, when did you decide that watching your partner have sex with another man was the hottest thing on the planet?

Seriously, I ask with genuine curiosity.

I should probably start at the beginning because this question is kind of blunt, but believe me, I have my reasons for asking it.

It all started on a dull Monday night when I decided I wanted to spice things up a bit.

I hurriedly took to my Instagram and prepared a questionnaire for my followers who simply said “tell me a defiant secret.” Within seconds, my DMs were filled with people telling me their dirtiest, juicy secrets. I was hooked, I tell you, hooked!

People started telling me about their affairs, their bedroom antics, their kinks, and their embarrassing sexual blunders. I was in heaven.

I kept their answers, kept the senders’ identities anonymous, and posted them in my stories with a sexy photo I thought matched the secret.

People really started to get involved in the stories.

The reactions to these secrets were strong. I loved dissecting each secret with my followers and joining in the shocked outrage over some of the more outlandish stories.

Since that quiet night a few months ago, it’s become quite a Monday night affair. If I’m even a few minutes late after my usual 7:30pm post, I get DMs from followers far and wide (including famous sportsmen, the occasional soap actor, and even a sassy politician) asking where the secrets are. It brings me great joy.

Thanks to the weekly deluge of secrets, I’ve discovered some real patterns in my followers’ behavior. The first is that a lot of all of you are having affairs. Honestly, my inbox is full of juicy adultery stories.

Jana’s inbox filled with confessions from men around the world – with many admitting they love to hear about their partner’s past sex life

“I can see how it’s pretty hot to see your partner being sexually worshiped by someone else,” says Jana

The second is that MANY men enjoy fantasizing or actively watching their partners have sex with other men. It really puts them to work. Oddly, I wondered if I’d enjoy that kind of kink, and I’ve decided the answer is yes.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t sign up for a swingers club anytime soon.

Although I almost got into it once. It was with my ex from about seven years ago. We were a little concerned about the idea. He managed to find a pair of very chic trousers exclusively in Melbourne.

We agreed that if it was out of town we would be less likely to be recognized, so why not book a trip south (metaphorically and logistically). Flights were sorted, the very expensive tickets were bought, the extensive background checks required by the club were completed, and then… he broke.

Which on reflection was an absolute blessing as I tend to get a horrible case of the green eyed monster. Yes, I admit that the jealous gene runs through my veins. So sure, I can fantasize about it, but actually watching another woman hook up with my man, no way! I’m pretty sure it would have ended in tears.

I can see how it’s pretty hot to see your partner being sexually worshiped by someone else. I get a little nervous just thinking about it.

A man sent in this confession that seemed almost too much for Jana

This fantasy is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to thinking about your partner with someone else.

As it turns out, many dudes are now taking it a step further with a new kink called “hotpast,” where the women tell their male partners about their sexual history while having sex with them.

Whether that’s telling their partner the sordid details of a one-night stand they once had, or intentionally having sex with their partner in the same place (and position) they did with their ex, it drives guys crazy.

There’s even a Reddit thread with nearly 86,000 members devoted strictly to the topic of “hotpast.” It’s where men go to share “hotpast” stories about their partner’s past sexual endeavors. The description reads, “This subreddit is for people whose fetish is hearing about or fantasizing about their partners’ sexual past and sexual exploitation prior to the current relationship.”

“Weirdly, I was wondering if I’d enjoy that kind of kink, and I’ve decided the answer is yes,” she said

However, there are strict rules for this stream. Members are not allowed to share stories about cuckolding (getting turned on by being cheated on), swinging or cheating. No, members are only allowed to share stories about their partners’ pasts.

Umm…that feels low key disrespectful. It’s one thing to whisper your sexy past in your partner’s ear, it’s quite another for your partner to then spread it all over the internet.

Anyway, this new kink is quickly gaining momentum with members sharing stories like “My wife had a threesome in college” and “My partner once gave a famous football player a BJ.”

So much for the story we’ve been told all our lives that men are turned off by any woman with a challenging past. Turns out there are some men who can’t get enough of it.

This new fact brings me joy and a thirst for many more brutal secrets. Let’s see what next week’s round brings.