The dating world is in a state of disarray! I came to this conclusion last weekend after inviting my girlfriends for a glass of champagne before having lunch at Icebergs.
As I looked around my living room, I realized that all my friends are absolute superstars. Not only are they gorgeous, but they have great jobs, comfortable wages, and are ridiculously good company.
And it’s not just this group of friends, I have at least two other groups that are all in the same boat.
And yet… they are all single!
Not because I don’t want to try, I might add. We spent the afternoon telling hilarious dating stories, sharing the crazy things we’d seen on dating apps, and thinking about why guys insist on sharing gym selfies #ick.
All my friends are absolute catches. Not only are they gorgeous, but they have great jobs, comfortable wages, and are ridiculously good company. But… they’re all single!
What we’re looking for isn’t anything crazy. A nice guy who is well put together, has emotional intelligence, has a decent job and is nice to women. And dogs. Especially dogs.
So where are these guys? Well, my original thought was, “Oh, I know, they’re after the girls in their twenties.” I asked a guy in my office what he was doing that weekend and he said it was his girlfriend’s 21st birthday. He’s 37.
While he was complaining about how immature her friends were, and the lack of nice wines to choose from on the boat trip they were on, I thought, why the hell are you dating a 21 year old.
Yes, it’s a terribly judgmental assessment of me, but seriously. What do they talk about when they’re not talking about it like rabbits?
I’ve been thinking for a while that the reason we’re all single is because my gorgeous friends and I are being passed over by the guys we like because we’re too old.
But I started thinking that maybe the problem is that me, and my friends, have created lives that we absolutely love, and if we want to add a man to our lives, they have to be on the same level or higher. You can’t distract from anything, you have to add something to my life
I’ve been thinking for a while that the reason we’re all single is because my gorgeous friends and I are being passed over by the guys we like because we’re too old. In fact, it’s safe to assume that many guys don’t even register on our age dating apps because they set their age limits from 20 to – at some point – 30 years old.
Isn’t that wild? And yes, I fully expect my Instagram DMs to be filled with messages from men ranting about how I shouldn’t have put my career before men and babies. And that I’m too picky. Oh, and my favorite “I hit a wall.” (Side note: why do so many men like to use the term “You’ve hit a wall.” It’s always from a hairy, balding guy who scratches his balls in social situations. Okay buddy.)
I beg to differ, dear grumpy gentlemen. I have never felt better about myself, I don’t want children, and I have loved every moment of pursuing a career that I want.
But there has to be a more valid reason why all my friends and I are single, than just some shallow guys wanting a pretty young thing on their arm.
So after some more thinking I started thinking that maybe the problem is that me and my friends have created lives that we absolutely love and if we want to add a man to our lives then they need to be on the same level or higher. You can’t distract from anything, you have to add something to my life.
I spent so long ranting about my refusal to relax my standards or settle for any old dude. But have I been on dates with guys who are very different from me? No
And this started to seem a little more like the money, especially when I presented it to a bunch of women at a work meeting yesterday.
Then I came across a book that proved this theory in a way, stating that there is a real male shortage for career women right now. Author Jon Birger wrote a book about it called ‘Date-onomics: How Dating Became a Crooked Numbers Game’. In it he explains why so many women struggle to find ‘Mr Right’ and it all comes down to numbers. Saying, “It’s not women’s fault, it’s the demographics.”
According to Birger, the problem with women currently living in big cities is that there are many more women with university degrees than men. He said that if women want a man who has the same level of education as them, they will have a hard time.
And the men who are are more likely to step up and delay marriage because there are so many women in excess to choose from.
He said the solution is for women to be more open-minded about who they want to date. And here’s a plot twist for you, I think he’s right.
The girls and I have committed to broadening our dating field and going places outside the city bubble. Can’t hurt, right?
I spent so long ranting about my refusal to relax my standards or settle for any old dude. But have I been on dates with guys who are very different from me? No.
I tend to go for white collar. Of course I’ve played with a few footy players in the past, but that was just for fun. Maybe I should date guys who didn’t go to college. Either I took up a profession, or here’s an idea… a farmer!
Maybe we’re all single because we only stick to what we know. Maybe my Mr Right is currently trying to herd sheep in a steep barn, and I’ve been trying to look for him in a fancy wine bar. Wrong place Jana!
So, in the beautiful words of Taylor Swift: ‘It’s me. I’m the problem, it’s me’.
The girls and I have committed to broadening our dating field and going places outside the city bubble. Can’t hurt, right?