Brace yourselves, folks, because there’s a new sneaky tactic us women are using to catch men cheating… and I’ll be honest, it’s a little shady.
In fact, it makes me feel dirty.
I came across this hoax one night while scrolling through my current obsession – a Facebook page called ‘Sis, is this your man’. It allows women to upload photos of the men they are currently dating or chatting with on dating apps, to see if anyone else is dating them. It’s wild!
No, that’s not the dating tactic… read on, dear reader, read on.
There are hundreds of these pages on Facebook and they are all set to specific locations. So I’m following the Sydney edition.
It’s safe to say that there are always dramas where women are constantly shocked to discover that the man they thought they were dating had been in exclusive contact with three other women in the past month. On a particularly juicy evening you will discover a man there who is married. I know, outrageous.
Strap in, folks, because there’s a new sneaky tactic us women are using to catch men cheating… and I’ll be honest, it’s a little shady…
Lately I’ve noticed that the site has gone a bit dark, with women there now asking for volunteers to trap their men
It’s my guilty pleasure and it never disappoints. I mean, it will definitely put you off dating, but it’s a good way to kickstart a boring evening. However, lately I’ve noticed that the site has gone a bit dark as women there are now asking for volunteers to trap their men.
If you don’t know what a honey trap is, pour yourself some wine and get ready for an education. A honey trap is defined as an investigative technique that tests the fidelity of a spouse or partner by attempting to lure them into a romantic situation while gathering evidence.
A woman would deliberately send another attractive woman to a bar where they know her boyfriend is there and have the woman flirt with him to see if he takes the bait. Or they might ask a friend who doesn’t know his or her friend to come into his or her DMs with a flirty message and see if he responds.
This then tests his loyalty. I know, angry. And let’s face it: this fall will inevitably end in tears.
This woman performed a loyalty test on another woman’s boyfriend of one year. He told her he was single after she told him she had seen him on dating site Raya. The girlfriend was heartbroken and said she was “ready to dump him.” It is unknown if she went ahead and ended things
This friend was tricked by his girlfriend. He said his relationship “had its moments” and a few hours later he messaged the attractive stranger again saying she was “pretty cute.” The girlfriend left him the next day and the ‘honey catcher’ immediately blocked him
But I realized I had been accidentally doing it for months. You see, I have a very sweet girlfriend who often takes me out. The number of times a guy I’m casually dating has then started following her and sliding into her DMs after meeting him is outrageous.
Spoiler alert: three. It’s happened three times. Thanks…next!
But I never thought about doing it intentionally. I’m one of those people who prefer to live in denial and then have a mock shock when they get caught – because believe me, they always get caught. Just read my Monday Night Saucy Secrets on Instagram and within seconds you’ll be secretly checking your partner’s phone.
So I wanted to know how these honey traps develop and if they are actually that common. I took to my Instagram and asked followers: Have you ever used someone to trap your partner? Or have you ever been the ‘honey trap’?
Well, it turns out to be very common. My inbox yielded some horrific stories, so I wanted to share them with you:
A man told me he was on the receiving end of a honey trap and it ultimately backfired on his girlfriend
This man’s partner was locked up by his wife during a night out; It didn’t end well for either of them
A man wrote: ‘One time I was on a football trip when one of the boys went home with a girl, but once he got to her house he was greeted by his wife on the phone. She had used a friend to trap him.
I immediately wrote back, “Oh wow! Did they break up? What did her boyfriend say to him after the phone call?’
He replied, “It’s been a few years now. I’m pretty sure she stayed with him for a while. Which I thought was strange. She got the answer she was looking for and did nothing about it. I think he’s been called every name under the sun. He came back to the pub where we were sitting looking very sheepish. He received no sympathy from anyone. I spent the rest of the night on the phone with his wife, trying to get her to believe a made-up story.’
Then I was told by another man that he was on the receiving end of a honey trap and that it ultimately backfired on his girlfriend.
“I’ve been on the receiving end of a honey trap that I’ve passed. It put me in a terrible position where I had to tell the friend that her lifelong best friend had tried to do something against me. When I did, she saw it as a huge relief and made it clear that I had passed the test. That game opened my eyes and meant the end of the relationship for me,” he said.
Another woman in my DMs revealed that she had set a honey trap.
“I relied on a gut feeling years ago during the Ashley Madison data hack. I created a fake profile and found my (now ex) husband’s profile on the ‘married dating’ website. I then sent him a message asking for photos to which he agreed…complete with ad**k photo. He denied it all even after I told him I had proof. I divorced him as soon as possible. Always trust your gut,” she said.
Now I give these women the chance to get creative when it comes to spying on their men, but I think the paranoia would eat me alive. I prefer to date in a “let’s just try until one of us bows” kind of way.
It can’t be healthy to constantly live in a state of fear that your husband might cheat. If your gut tells you he’s cheating, it’s usually because warning signs are flying early on. Instead of setting up traps, just follow your gut and move on.
I mean, don’t get me wrong. I like reading about it, but isn’t dating fun? Sheesh, it’s been getting dark lately.