A few years ago I was on a girls trip to Byron Bay. We were young and carefree singles, running around the city like we owned it.
Late one afternoon we put on our cutest summer dresses and headed to the famous Beach Hotel for an afternoon of Aperol Spritz, and a great chance at flirting.
I can successfully say that both of those things happened, just with a little plot twist.
We started talking to a group of guys next to us who told us they were from Melbourne and had traveled there for a weekend of golf and surfing. They were in top form and so were we.
We hit it off with a ridiculously handsome man in the group who didn’t have a wedding ring (check) and acted very single (check). We flirted, danced and kissed all night like teenagers. It was glorious.
Jana Hocking is disgusted by male behavior during dollar weekends
The next evening he texted me to see where my girlfriends and I were, and suggested we all meet up again. We had so much fun the night before, so we were excited.
The next few hours we hopped in the bar and ended up watching the sunrise on the beach. Tres romantic.
Finally, we said goodbye to them and went back to our apartment to sleep and unpack the evening events. My silly romantic brain was already trying to figure out how to make a long distance relationship work and when I could see him next.
Then the text arrived.
Jana was told by a man she was on holiday with for two nights that he was actually there during his own weekend
It started off sweetly when I said he had a great time catching up with me and how much he enjoyed it. But it ended with a statement that made the hairs on my arms stand up.
It said, “Okay, so I have something to tell you and I’m not proud of it.”
Oh God.
I said, okay, what’s wrong? I slowly started to panic. Then I had to stare at those annoying typo bubbles for a million years while he spelled it out for me.
“I’m about to get married,” it said.
In the meantime I had called all the girls to record this with me. I asked if they knew? Had any of the other boys mentioned this rather important detail?
They said no, none of the other boys in his group had told them. Instead, they watched it all unfold and kept their mouths shut.
“I’ve heard so many stories similar to my own over the years, and I’m starting to believe that this is exactly what these weekends were designed to do,” Jana said.
Still shocked, I asked him if this weekend was his money, and I got a very short one-word answer. ‘Yes’.
We had spent hours with this group. Not once did they reveal that they were sitting on their money. The girls and I were Miffy!
But I’m not the first girl to be cheated out of a weekend of money, and I dare say I won’t be the last. I’ve heard so many stories similar to my own over the years, and I’m starting to believe that this is exactly what these weekends were designed to do.
One last hurray. A final stage over. One memorable roll in the hay before heading to their cabin. I would go so far as to say that they do it without guilt, and genuinely believe that it is fine because it is just ‘one last time to see’.
Last week someone sent a spicy secret to my Instagram account with the text: ‘The best man at my wedding ordered an escort for my money. I didn’t want anything to do with her, so he had a good night. The next weekend, after the money, his face was covered in herpes.”
First of all LOL. But it begs the question: why on earth is the best man ordering an escort for the money?
Don’t get me wrong: we all love a good strip show. I have to witness many firefighters and police officers ‘coming to my aid’. But an escort?
That’s crossing the line. I asked my male friends if they had ever been to a money party where escorts were ordered, and three out of the five people I asked said yes.
While we women are busy giggling at men in the buff while trying to paint their portraits for “life drawing classes” or wrapping our bodies around poles in an attempt to learn how to strip dance, the men get to work with the hired help.
In fact, a recent study found that more than 70 percent of men cheat at money parties. A survey of 6,000 people defined cheating as ranging from flirting or downloading a dating app during parties, to sexting or sleeping with someone other than their partner.
The most common cases of infidelity were somewhat tame: they got a lap dance (33.1 percent) and kissing (21.3 percent). Although 11.2 percent of attendees admitted to sleeping with someone else, and 9 percent said they participated in a threesome.
Wild.
I know a couple who recently had a joint Bucks and Hens party. At first I thought that was a bit lame, but now it makes a lot more sense.
So for the record: YES, it is cheating. Even during the weekend of your money. So, for God’s sake, guys, keep it in your pants. Whatever happened to a fun golf weekend? Now there’s an idea…