I was sitting next to an extraordinary woman at a dinner party, writes JANA HOCKING, when the conversation turned spicy – and now I know why ‘good’ men cheat

Confession: I recently dated a man who was perfect for me. He was smart, emotionally available, handsome and the jackpot of all jackpots: he was 6 feet tall.

Everything went smoothly until we started feeling hot and heavy. I noticed that every now and then he would direct my face towards his bottom. Yes, his hindquarters. Derriere. Hull.

Specifically, he wanted me to use my tongue in that area, and I’m not squeamish, but that will be a firm no for me.

Finally, after a few wines one evening, he brought it up. I wondered why I wouldn’t want to treat his bot-bot like a lollipop and I simply said I couldn’t. I have the same thing with sashimi.

Sure, other people might enjoy this fine Japanese delicacy, but in my mind it’s still raw fish and I just can’t ignore it. It’s safe to say I feel the same way about butts.

Nevertheless, he tried to steer me in the same direction every time we took off our gear and I ended up having to devote time to our relationship. It became annoying and I had no interest in getting intimate with that particular part of his body.

Then last week I had an epiphany. I suddenly realized why men cheat.

This epiphany came about when I won the dinner lottery and sat next to someone who was really interesting with a fascinating career.

After checking off all the polite conversation topics, like the weather and travel, we moved on to our chosen professions.

Now I’m usually the one who gets a million and one questions about my career. “What do you mean you write about sex and dating?” “What does your family think?” “Aren’t you worried that men will be nervous about going out with you?” blah blah blah.

But tonight was different. Tonight I sat across from a lady from a brothel.

She explained that she bought the company with the money from her very ugly divorce. It was something she wanted to do for years, and now, given her freedom and looking for a good distraction from her broken love life, she dove straight into it.

Jana recently had an epiphany and suddenly realized why men cheat

She told me many facts about her work, but there was one thing that I found fascinating. When I asked her how many married men came to her establishment, she said they made up a very high percentage of the clientele.

However, her reasoning made me pause and think.

You see, she said that most of them come to satisfy certain issues that they don’t feel comfortable asking from their wives.

Ah yes, the old ‘Madonna-Whore complex’. Coined by the founder of psychoanalysis himself, Sigmund Freud.

He defined this condition as “the inability to maintain sexual arousal within a committed, loving relationship” and that it “would develop in men who view women as sacred Madonnas or as degraded prostitutes.” It divides women into two simple categories: the pure and the tainted.

It turns out that many men love making love to their wives, but hate sharing their kinky side with them. So they look elsewhere, for example in a brothel.

And here’s a controversial opinion… I agree with it. For example, suppose I had broken up with my Mr Perfect and he was happy to have his ass ‘seen’ by a professional. I think I would be fine with that.

Or, for example, someone else meets their Mr. Perfect and he secretly wants to suck his toes, or run around the room in a diaper and ask to be spanked. Would it really be that bad if he went to see Janice* at the local brothel to work out that kink? In the meantime, we can enjoy the tender lovemaking.

Heck, I would much rather have my partner go to a professional than go to the hottie in the office who might be willing to break out the bondage equipment. We’ve all seen how messy things can get, but having a quick chat with someone they won’t text later…well, it seems a lot safer.

Don’t get me wrong, I think a lot of men would be surprised to discover that their wives are eager to spice up their love lives with some kinky good times. Good lord, check out some of the provocative secrets I share from women on my Instagram every Monday night. We’re all a horny bunch at heart, so why not try to broach the subject before you drop a wad of cash somewhere else?

Jana thinks many men would be surprised to discover that their wives are eager to spice up their love lives

But if all that fails and you both find yourself at a bit of a loss, there are other options available to you. It might even help your relationship! He doesn’t feel like he’s missing anything he might like to explore, and you don’t have to worry about him running away and having an emotional affair with someone else.

Oh, and I should mention that after dinner she offered to take a few of us for a tour of the brothel, and all I can say is wow! It wasn’t what I expected.

I’d been walking past this place for years, knowing what kind of establishment it was and always curious for a taste, so I was glad I finally got to do it.

It looked a little rough on the outside, but on the inside it’s soft! There were red velvet lounges in the waiting room, along with discreet signs reminding customers of their strict safe sex policy. (You like it!)

Each room had its own themes, such as tiger print, black leather, pink satin, with containers of condoms and a discreet shower in the corner.

And I have to say that it is much nicer than the offices where I have worked. Still, I’m not sure my libido can live up to the hype of the work. Hats off to you courtesans and the madams who keep them running.