Just when you thought the dating world had surely reached its maximum toxicity, along comes a group of men who with a vengeance want to blow up dating altogether.
Why? Because they are angry that we women don't want to sleep with them.
This would be kind of hilarious if these men's intentions weren't so evil and, quite frankly, dangerous. They call themselves 'incels' who are involuntarily celibate.
They are becoming so popular among the men's community that they are even listed in the Oxford dictionary as 'members of an online community of men who consider themselves incapable of sexually attracting women'. They are typically associated with views hostile to women who are sexually active.”
In short, they blame women and society for their lack of romantic success and their ideology is rooted in the belief that women have too much power sexually and therefore ruin their lives by rejecting them.
Jana Hocking reveals how incels attack her online
Sounds crazy, right!
It definitely has nothing to do with their sweaty, creepy, negative nature. We women are the problem because we choose to say “no thanks” instead of being naked in front of them.
How dare we!
They even have an online forum called incels.is where they express their hatred of women and brag about the very dark things they have done to get 'revenge' on women.
They call this revenge 'chadfishing' and it involves setting up fake online dating profiles posing as a 'Chad' – a conventionally attractive man – to lure women in.
Once they match through the app, they will set up dates, take the women on expensive Uber rides, then tell them they went to the wrong location and watch them rush to meet them somewhere else before meeting them to block. It's really toxic and cruel.
I had a podcast and decided to ask him to come on as a guest to share with my audience why he loves trolling women
He took a screenshot of my Instagram account and wrote the following message to his 100,000+ followers
Some of the stories on the forum are so disturbing that I can't even mention them here.
Unfortunately, because I'm a woman and *gasp* have a dating column that talks openly and honestly about all things dating and sex, I have long been a target for these types of men. Good lord, nothing pisses off an incel who can't get laid quite like a woman who documents her fun adventures and does just that.
The first time this happened was in early 2019, when I first started writing about my single shenanigans.
A man with a large following on Instagram started writing mean messages under my posts and in my DMs. When I looked at his Insta profile, I discovered that he was popular for the nasty ways he targeted women. He shared screenshots of his horrific messages with female celebrities and influencers, taunting them endlessly. His audience clearly couldn't get enough of it.
So dirty.
I had a podcast and decided to ask him to come on as a guest to share with my audience why he loves trolling women. He agreed and gave me a phone number to call him, along with a request to “show me your tits.” Charming.
For the next 24 hours my Instagram was flooded with creepy men saying WOT WOT under my photos and in my DMs
I called the number and to my surprise it was not a real phone number. So I decided to block him and move on with my life.
Well, that was the plan anyway. What he did next was dark and deeply hateful.
He took a screenshot of my Instagram account and wrote the following message to his more than 100,000 followers:
“So before Dyl was locked up, reporter @jana_hocking was trolling him and saying he was scared. He agreed to do the interview and then she blocked him when she realized he was intimidated by her big words. Everyone go message her and say WOT WOT.”
Yes, this guy constantly refers to himself in the third person. Shrink.
For the next 24 hours, my Instagram was flooded with creepy men saying WOT WOT under my photos and in my DMs. It was wild.
This stuck around for about a week before he obviously found another poor woman to harass and the WOT WOTs finally stopped clogging my feed.
There's a creepy bald man in America who has half a million followers on his YouTube channel and who dissects my articles every week
Since then, harassment by similar men with a large online presence has continued.
There's a creepy bald guy in America who has half a million followers on his YouTube channel and who dissects my articles every week.
He gives these videos titles such as 'Dating Expert 'Jana Hocking Shows Why Women Are Shocked When They Hit the Wall.'
and “Postwall, no eggs, Jana Hocking wants $2000 to sleep with her.” Yes, he focuses on my fertility and age.
His videos are factually incorrect on so many levels, but the “No eggs” part is so shocking to me.
This video received 475,174 views and 19,000 likes.
This man's favorite verbal dagger is to imply that I am not fertile. That would be very disturbing if I wanted children, but luckily I don't.
Then there's a particularly scary-looking man who is also trying to gain notoriety by dissecting my articles online and giving his followers deeply sexist commentary about why I “make other women miserable.”
Then there's a particularly scary looking man who is also trying to gain fame by dissecting my articles online
Spoiler alert: it's because I encourage healthy boundaries and respect in relationships. I know, terrible advice.
The one thing these guys all have in common is that they get their minions, I mean followers, to track me down on Instagram and send me the link to their videos so I can “teach a lesson.”
Instead of thinking about whether this might be the reason women don't want to have sex with them, they choose to throw tantrums at men and dedicate their entire lives to tearing women down. It sounds exhausting, right! If you look at their YouTube channels you will quickly discover that they are obsessed with it. And what's even scarier is that they have a lot of followers who encourage them to keep going.
Imagine if they spent that time in therapy unpacking their problems instead of letting them consume them. They could have let go of the all-consuming hatred and probably learned how to talk to women. But that seems far too sensible to me.
In the meantime, stay safe ladies. Because until the dating apps increase their security measures and insist that people verify their profiles, we better be on our guard.