JANA HOCKING: I was recently given the best dating advice I’ve ever heard – and the genius rule saved me from pursuing a total dud

It’s Thursday evening and I just got home from a date. Contrary to my normal tradition of kicking off my heels, drinking a tall glass of water, and plopping into bed with a full face of makeup, I open my laptop and get ready to enter my “data.” to download.

Yes. Facts.

I’m trying something new and it’s really changing my dating game for the better. It may sound a bit process-intensive, but believe me when I say it’s worth it.

It’s called the ABCD rule, which stands for ‘Always Be Collecting Data’ – and my favorite TikToker Courtney Shields recently invented it.

This week she used a luscious body bronzer while explaining this new dating technique, and it’s a doozy.

“There’s one rule you should absolutely stick to in the beginning when talking to someone new,” she said.

She then goes into what ABCD stands for, explaining that it’s important because “you should always worry more about whether you like him than whether he likes you.”

Oh, isn’t that the truth! As someone who has a whole prep process for a date (tanning the night before, washing hair in the morning to let it settle before trying to curl it, full makeup on my face while drinking a pre-date wine, Spotify song list to get me in the mood, and yes, the occasional list of talking points), I can safely say that I spend most of the date wondering if I’m exuding enough “va va voom” and feeling not focusing enough on who I’m actually being on a date with.

Courtney went on to explain why it’s so important to focus more on a date than on yourself.

“Reminder: You don’t know this man. You are in the data collection phase, which means you are observing him. You just listen and you believe him when he tells you things because you collect the data,” she said.

Ah yes, the old Oprah Winfrey saying, “When someone tells you who they are, believe them!”

Sensible.

I’ve been thinking about what data I should collect and I came up with the following that you are more than welcome to steal for your own use:

Did he make me laugh?

Did he have interesting things to say? Was I involved in the conversation?

Was it a fun date, or did I make it fun?

Could I enjoy his company on a long journey?

Did he seem to be listening to what I said? And ask questions?

Could I imagine kissing him, or would I enjoy just being friends with this man more?

Was I being authentic around him, or did I feel like I had to put on an act?

Does he put me at ease?

Would I enjoy going on a date with him again?

Does he show signs of intelligence?

Is it being driven?

Did he read my body language when it came to making the first move, or did it feel forced? What kind of relationship does he have with his family?

And then there’s the data you need to collect to keep yourself safe, such as;

Has he been to jail?

Was he ever arrested? If so, for what?

Does he speak kindly or poorly about his exes?

Was he nice to the people around you?

Does he seem calm or tense?

Let me tell you: it works.

It even caused me to cut one guy from my roster. Sure, he has great social status and a nice full head of hair, but if I’m honest with myself, I’ve always felt smarter than him on dates. He tells me things that are common knowledge and all I can think is ‘well duh!’. Moreover, his long-winded stories often put me to sleep.

After I actively collected data on him, he failed the test. Not by a long shot.

Annoyingly, the guy I really liked had great data results. He’s funny, makes me feel comfortable, the conversation flows and I like to think we have just as much fun. But he really gives off those “I just don’t like you that much” vibes.

How should I know that? I collected the data.

Damn data!

Ultimately, I think it’s a brilliant hack to avoid falling head over heels for a dud. I also read somewhere that you should listen constantly during a date, trying to gather data on what makes them fall madly in love with you. It’s like a dark seduction tactic. For example, if they say they really like crime podcasts, give them a listen so you have some good talking points. Tree! You have a connection.

So peeps if you want to date smarter, stop judging a date based on how horny they made you, and start collecting data instead. It works wonders for me.