JANA HOCKING: What cocaine has done to the men of my generation is a tragedy. Humiliation in the bedroom, pity from their friends. Then days ago, a terrifying confession…
Not long ago I found myself at a party full of aging Sydney personalities.
And by getting older I mean the forties and fifties. So no, not old fashioned (I turned 40 in August myself), but certainly seasoned enough to have earned their reputation as key players in Bondi’s party scene in the 2010s.
As I looked around the room, I saw that the women’s faces were tight and shiny (the Botox glow is hard to miss – mine too!) while the men looked as if they had aged ten years overnight had become.
This wasn’t a George Clooney kind of aging; it was more like ‘Charlie Sheen on the end of a bow.’ It was a stark reminder of how years of partying and substance abuse can take their toll on even the most glamorous individuals.
Nevertheless, it was a wonderful afternoon full of wine and untouched snacks (thanks, Ozempic). It was a very good catch up, until the biggest party animal in the room uttered a single, very familiar word: “Bags?”
(A quick explanation for you Brits and Americans: we Australians call coke ‘bags’ because even a one-syllable word needs a nickname here…)
Don’t get me wrong, I’m no angel, but my first thought was, ‘This is a classy lunch. Haven’t we outgrown this?’ Apparently not. Within the hour a dodgy looking guy arrived with a ‘delivery’. Soon after, half the party was chewing their faces.
This might have been fun if you were in your twenties or early thirties, but most of us had a job to do the next day. Some had children at home. Anyone over forty knows that wine hangovers are bad enough, let alone the depressing pain of a cocaine comedown.
The 2010s were a wild time. Mail+ columnist Jana Hocking (left) was deep into Sydney’s party scene at the time, when Instagram was new and cocktails cost less than $25
By her own admission, Jana was no angel. But she says it’s time for the ‘Peter Pans of Sydney’ – the men who still party well into their 40s – to give up the bad habits. There is no evidence that the other woman in this photo was using illegal drugs
Slowly it dawned on me: these people we once admired as Sydney’s party animals were now… addicts. And they didn’t age well.
A former crush of mine looked particularly rough.
Years of nighttime benders had aged him beyond recognition. As he talked about his latest business venture, I felt a pang of sadness. This once vibrant, charismatic man was now a shell of his former self. (He’s probably reading this. Sorry, buddy…)
As he yapped incessantly, my crush quickly disappeared. My 23-year-old self cried inwardly, realizing she was now avoiding a man she had once fantasized about.
Looking back on other recent outings, I couldn’t help but remember, let’s put it delicately, “problems” I had encountered.
For example, the guy I was dating surprised me halfway through the hookup with an apology. “I’m sorry, honey, it looks like I’ve got Coke d***.” Brilliant! I had expected an evening of nude gymnastics; instead I got one limp dick and some senseless noise.
Tell me, Peter Pans from Sydney… why? Why trade an evening of fun fueled by champagne, good company and a little slap and tickle at home for an evening of gum chewing, mindless chatting and paranoia?
Sorry, guys. It’s a bad one deal – especially for us women.
Jana says some men she’s known for decades still party like they’re in their 20s — and that leads to embarrassing failures in the bedroom, not to mention heart problems
Another male friend in his early 50s confessed that his doctor had warned him that for years he would have to “shall we get a bag?” had led to a terrifying heart attack. With a look of fear in his eyes, he admitted, “I think I might be a little addicted.” Oh, you think?
Then there was the first mate who blew his nose all evening during a weekday dinner and complained about a comedown from three nights before. This grown man – with a blessed life – was a shell of himself and paid dearly for his weekend sins. It happens regularly.
Most of us from that party scene grew up, found bigger priorities, and resigned ourselves to the occasional hangover.
But these men never slowed down – and they paid a high price. They’ve lost high-paying jobs (hello, layoffs in the entertainment industry), aged prematurely, and seen their marriages crumble. Their wives, fed up with fiery fits of rage and stumbling home at six in the morning, decided enough was enough.
Now these once envied party animals are dealing with a host of health problems due to years of cocaine abuse. When they whine to me about their health, I can’t help but think, “You’re 52 and still partying like you’re 22.” What the hell did you expect?’
And don’t even get me started on the hypocrisy of those who refused vaccines during Covid because “I don’t want to do that.” That in my body.’ I had literally seen them snorting coke off a toilet seat in a dingy pub. But be sure to tell me all about bodily autonomy.
As the party came to an end, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I had just witnessed a train wreck in slow motion. These Peter Pans were trapped in a cycle of self-destruction, chasing a fleeting high that could cost them everything.
Shrink.
I felt sorry for my younger self, who once worshiped these powerful, charismatic (formerly) handsome men. I felt even more sorry for them. What a waste of life.
So here’s the ugly truth that your friendly neighborhood coke dealer won’t tell you:
1. It Makes You Look Old AF: Cocaine accelerates aging, especially in the brain. Research shows that users show changes that correspond to those of much older people.
2. Your brain starts to rot: Memory, attention and decision-making take a hit and deteriorate with age and long-term use. We all have that one friend who is noticeably “slower” than he or she ever was.
3. You’re having a walking heart attack: Cocaine increases the risk of heart attacks and strokes, especially in older users.
4. You will have a soft, useless c***: Vasoconstriction from cocaine reduces blood flow, leading to the dreaded ‘coke d***’. I’ve seen it many times. And yes, we all talk about it.
5. Goodbye, libido: Even if you can get an erection, cocaine reduces sexual desire and satisfaction. I mean, isn’t that reason enough?
6. Good luck having a baby: Both men and women face fertility problems related to cocaine use.
7. You’ll be broke eventually: Drug habits deplete financial resources faster than you can say, “Bag?” Would you prefer a real handbag? Or a chic outfit? Lasts longer.
8. Goodbye, Employment: Substance use wreaks havoc on careers and finances.
9. It’s only a matter of time before you get caught: Forget the “everyone else is doing it” excuse. If you get caught with coke, you’re screwed. The legal consequences of possession, trafficking or human trafficking are serious – and very embarrassing if you have a public profile.
While the high may seem fun in the short term, the long-term consequences of being a 40 or 50-year-old cokehead are anything but.
Is it worth it? Spoiler alert: no.