In the early 2000s, I somehow managed to land a dream internship at Cosmopolitan Magazine.
It was brilliant.
I worked hard and the nice fashion editor gifted me a ticket to the Alex Perry show during Australian Fashion Week. It felt like I had won the lottery.
I even got to dig into the fashion closet (think Devil Wears Prada) and choose an outfit that cost way more than my pitiful college student salary.
As I took my seat in the front row, I looked around the room and was pleased to see Miranda Kerr sitting opposite me and Danni Minogue on the left. Yep, the room was full of TV stars, famous WAGs, and people I recognized from all my favorite magazines.
It is still one of the highlights of my life.
Jana Hocking during this year’s Australian Fashion Week
So when I started receiving invitations to the many shows on offer at this year’s Australian Fashion Week, I got excited!
Ooh, I wonder who will be the famous international guest? Who will sit in the front row? And what will be the trend of the season?
Well, I was in for a shock, dear reader. Because times have changed since my last Australian Fashion Week Show in 2004, and I wasn’t prepared.
Here are the five things I didn’t expect…
SPOT THE CELEBRITY
Don’t get me wrong: If you spend all your hours on TikTok or Instagram, chances are you vaguely recognize one or two people standing in the front row, but my friends and I were all trying to figure out who the heck everyone used to be. used to be.
Luckily, Carla Zampatti and PE Nation’s show really brought something to light. With Pip Edwards, Julie Bishop, Jackie O, Ricki-Lee Coulter, Samantha Armytage, Sonia Kruger and even Gladys Berejiklian all in the front row.
But the other shows seemed to be a mix of reality contestants from at least two seasons ago, and people you may have seen briefly on one of your social apps. Poor Jess Rowe was even relegated to the second row. And just like a baby, no one should put our favorite TV star in the corner.
Pip Edwards and her PE Nation show were one of the few highlights of Australian Fashion Week, says Jana Hocking
Jessica Rowe was placed in the second row behind no-name influencers
THE HOT TOPIC
Between shows everyone gathered at one of the many wine bars set up at Carriageworks, and all everyone whispered about was who was losing weight, I mean diabetes, injections.
“Did you see… she’s clearly working on it.”
“Yes, but who doesn’t sit on it these days?” ‘
Poor… gotta put down the Ozempic and get a burger.”
One A-lister told me all her friends use it, but she had trouble getting a prescription.
The people sitting on it stuck out like a sore thumb. For example, at Pandora’s AFW Party – which I have to say was spectacular – there were plates full of decadent food that went untouched. A crime! My friend and I ate the plates of sushi, oysters and macaroons with great enthusiasm.
Luckily, every show I went to had models of all shapes and sizes walking down the runway. So we consider that a win.
TO STEAL
I admit: I love a good gift bag. So when I came to the PE Nation Show, I may have squealed with joy when I discovered that we had each received a Stanley Tumbler. Those suckers cost $80 and I’ve never spent that much money on a water bottle.
So it was a real treat to get one for free. But what I saw playing out before me was like a feeding frenzy. If you put your cup down for even a second, it would be picked up by someone further down the line. In fact, I saw one influencer leave with five!
Others showed no shame in lingering at the end of a show to see who had left their gift bags behind, before putting the packets of tea, candles and beautiful perfume samples into their own goodie bags. I understand that the cost of living is real right now, but let’s keep it a little classy.
NEW RIVALS
I love a good bitch session, yes it’s embarrassing but true. However, the conversations at AFW were next level. I’ve listened to countless celebrities start monologues asking, “but what do influencers actually do?”
I quickly realized that the disdain behind these rants stemmed from the fact that influencers have risen to prominence and essentially taken over the commercial market. They’re scooping up all the endorsement deals and big money that was once reserved for stars of stage and screen – and the ‘traditional’ celebrities are not happy.
Jana Hocking during Australian Fashion Week
BUGGING ABOUT SEATING
There is a real hierarchy when it comes to seating and I was shocked to see how this brought out the worst in people.
I was in the second row at most shows, and I was quite happy with that (aside from trying to see past the iPhones in the air). Let’s not forget that these shows cost over $100,000 each, so getting a ticket should be something to be thankful for.
But I saw people shamelessly pressing their butts onto benches that were clearly not meant for them, rather than face the shame of sitting one row back. At some shows the front row looked like a tightly packed can of sardines.
Lindy Klim and Jana Hocking at the Pandora party
Others waited to see which guests had not arrived for their front row seats and quickly darted from their seats to the front row just as the event began. It looked thirsty and not cute.
But my favorite was watching people wait for everyone to leave the show before moving to the front row to take pictures as if they had been sitting there the whole time. I’m looking at you MAFS participants.
So in terms of people watching, I give this year’s Australian Fashion Week a solid 10/10. But all the real entertainment happened off the runway: the bickering, the stealing, the whining… it was better than anything I’ve seen on Netflix in years.
But in terms of class, I think it’s safe to say this left Australian Fashion Week as soon as influencers and reality contestants became front row bandits.
On with the show.