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Over the next few days, Prince Harry will undergo a round of television interviews to back up his explosive autobiography, Spare. The UK and US broadcasts will be led by handpicked presenters who are likely to be widely sympathetic to his cause, but will they get to the heart of real issues? Here are the 20 questions Jan Moir wants Harry to answer. . .
one Harry, have you ever done anything wrong in your life, or is everything always someone else’s fault?
2 Which member of the Royal Family expressed concern about Archie’s skin color and why hasn’t he mentioned it again in six hours of Netflix documentary and hundreds of pages of his book? And can you explain the baffling discrepancies in the accounts of this event that you and Meghan have given?
She told Oprah that there were “various conversations.” You told Oprah ‘that conversation I’ll never share’, which meant there was only one comment. Who, if anyone, is telling the truth?
Pictured: Prince Harry interview with Tom Bradbury
3 Congratulations on losing your virginity in a field to an ‘older woman’ who treated you ‘like a stud’. Does this mean that he provided you with quality hay and a block of salt? Or is there another connotation in those words? Actually, please don’t tell us. We just can’t anymore.
4 Do you have any sympathy for the darling Elizabeth Hurley, who has felt compelled to publicly declare that the ‘older woman’ in question is not her? Or do you think that the businesswoman in the bikini is still showing off and that she maybe protests too much, but you don’t remember anyway because you had been doing drugs and talking to garbage men that night?
5 This is important, please focus. Meghan told a television audience of millions that her son Archie was denied a royal title against protocol, also citing “concerns and conversations about how dark her skin might be when she is born.”
It’s plausible that she missed the finer points of complicated royal protocols and hereditary titles. But you understand this world too well. Why has she never corrected her provocative assumption?
6 On this topic, why don’t you and your family do the right thing and get rid of your royal titles? Your Royal Highness, if I may be so bold, professes to loathe the institution and all it stands for, so why not rid yourself of such a conspicuous connection to it?
7 One thing that puzzles everyone. Right at the beginning, you and Meghan claimed to be hard-working members of the royal family. However, it has now become clear that you were negotiating contracts with Netflix and stockpiling pictures of the wall from day one. Was Megxit a financial strategy and a foregone conclusion?
8 Which of the following do you think best describes you?
a) pathetic
b) vengeful
c) a little dark
d) proud taliban assassin
e) loving brother and son
f) someone who says ‘yes dear’ a lot
In the photo: Harry and Meghan are interviewed by Oprah Winfrey
9 Was it wise, Private Pike, to reveal that you killed 25 members of the Taliban in Afghanistan?
10 Speaking of bad guys, how can you justify your comment that your family “wants to keep us the villains”? Especially when they’ve kept a dignified silence in the face of the storm of accusations and insults you’ve thrown at them lately?
eleven Can you explain why Meghan told Oprah that when she was pregnant with her child, she had suicidal thoughts, ‘didn’t want to be alive’ and believed she couldn’t seek professional help for her mental health crisis?
Considering that he had a personal therapist on speed dial at the time, and in fact, he immediately called this person after a physical altercation with his brother.
Is there some arcane royal law that states that the prince will certainly have therapist sessions but his wife shouldn’t?
12 You and Meghan have spoken at length about your “basic right to privacy.” Okay, but why have you so brutally invaded the privacy of others? Was it fair, for example, to reveal that the King, in the hours after his own father’s burial, wearily asked you and your brother not to spoil his last years by fighting?
13 Do you think the King will ever forgive you for revealing that you and William begged him not to marry Camilla because you thought she would become an ‘evil stepmother’?
14 Which of the following would you say best describes the Princess of Wales?
a) a little baby brain
b) the sister I never had
c) a wife who fits the royal mold
d) Lady Arch-Nemesis
e) a bit scary, tbh
JAN MOIR: Over the next few days, Prince Harry will undergo a round of television interviews to back up his explosive autobiography, Spare. The UK and US broadcasts will be led by handpicked presenters who are likely to be widely sympathetic to his cause, but will they get to the heart of real issues?
fifteen A major flash point came when William told her that Meghan was “difficult and abrasive” with the staff. Illogically, he accused her brother of accepting the ‘press narrative’ on this matter, even though she must have experienced first-hand and second-hand accounts of her behavior.
Did you ever stop to wonder if there might be any truth to what you said? Or do you think that Saint Meghan of Montecito can’t be wrong?
sixteen You say that you were always in competition with your brother, whom you called your ‘arch-nemesis’. However, like you, William did not choose his fate, nor to be heir to the throne.
You understand his position better than most, so why choose betrayal over supporting him?
17 You claim that because of your privileged upbringing, you had no idea that the word ‘P***’ was a racial slur. And also that it was those bastards William and Kate who encouraged you to wear a Nazi uniform to a costume party.
However, you were 20 years old and an officer cadet at Sandringham when these things happened. When are you going to properly accept responsibility for your flaws and your strengths?
18 You’ve never met your father-in-law Thomas Markle, who has now been ostracized by you and Meghan for speaking out to the press. However, what he has done (Oprah, Netflix, an autobiography, television interviews) is a thousand times more invasive and incendiary.
Pictured: Thomas Markle appears on Good Morning Britain on March 9, 2021
You say that family is important to you, but you are kinder to your rescued chickens than to Thomas, a lonely old man with health problems. Isn’t it time to finally meet him, forgive him and introduce him to his little grandchildren before it’s too late?
19 Despite your claims to the contrary, you were invited to Sandringham for Christmas and the King has made it known that he wants you and Meghan to attend his coronation, but refuses to say if he will. How does this fit in with your stated belief that the Royal Family ‘shows no willingness to reconcile’?
twenty Harry, at Spare you don’t spare anyone’s blushes but your own. Is this one and done? Or should we all get ready for Spare 2: Now Meghan Has Her Say?
There is no need to answer. I think we all know the terrible answer to that.