I’ve discovered the new way men in relationships are secretly checking out other women, writes JANA HOCKING, but is it cheating?

Earlier this year I dated a man known for having a wondering eye. As is always the case, I should have stayed away from the start because his red flag was his reputation.

But girlfriend likes a challenge **sigh** and so I let my heart and loins get carried away. I kept telling myself it was okay, I don’t even like him that much. It’s just a nice distraction.

That was until I kept seeing it like the Instagram photos of my numerous girlfriends. Not just any friends… my hot friends. And not just any photos… their thirst quenching. If there was a bikini photo, you can bet he liked it.

It wasn’t one or two, it was all of them. And it drove me crazy.

Annoyingly, I tried to be the “cool girl” who doesn’t care. I never said anything, but over time the knife seemed to dig a little deeper into my heart. *Sarah would post a bikini photo and BOOM within minutes ‘ol mate’ had liked it.

I felt the resentment building and I really didn’t like who I was becoming. I found myself becoming paranoid that he was going to try it with one (or more) of them. I found myself getting irritated when they posted a beautiful photo – which is so unfair. My girls need to be able to show off until they can’t show off anymore.

Now that I’ve fully disclosed it, I’m aware that I tend to get jealous and have been known to choose chaos over healthy conversation. But one day his actions reached a point of no return, and it’s safe to say I really blew my top.

It all started on a night out when my girlfriends and I ran into him and his friends. We had a few cocktails beforehand and were all in good shape.

One of my friends is a ridiculously attractive, outgoing girl who wants to talk to everyone – and we love her for that. So when we met my man-of-the-moment, she gave him a warm welcome and we all had a good time.

A week later he and I met up for a fun date night. As we were warming up the conversation, he casually said, “Oh, I messaged your friend on Instagram the other day.” Hey?

He said, “Yeah, she seemed really tipsy on your girl’s night out, so I wanted to see how she quit the next day.” Can I repeat again… huh?

Why? I said. We were with her and she was clearly taken care of.

I felt a chill come over me. Because us girls know that when a guy comes into our DMs asking how our night was, there’s usually a motive.

I excused myself to go to the bathroom because I needed some time to process this information. While I was in the horn, I logged into my Instagram and went to her page. Sure enough, he had started following her and liked every photo she had posted over the past week.

Now here’s the bad thing: technically he didn’t cheat, but hey, I think it’s safe to say he acted thirsty for her.

As I said, I tend to choose the path of chaos over maturity from time to time. So I walked back out, ordered a strong gin martini and decided to have it with him.

Oh lord, it was grim. He went into deep denial, which only irritated me more, and I started to feel like I was acting paranoid and wondering if I was overreacting.

The next day I was hungover and confused. I promptly made an appointment with my fabulously cool French therapist and decided to unpack with her.

She listened to me, then gave me a warm, reassuring smile and said, “No, I don’t think you’re paranoid; I think you were reacting strongly to something that had clearly been bubbling beneath the surface for some time.”

She said that in all her years as a therapist, nothing is more common to cause conflict between couples than social media. She further explains that every day she is confronted with women who experience very similar dilemmas as I do.

I said that what messed up my brain the most was that he wasn’t technically cheating, but my gut told me he was up to no good.

She explained that all men have eyes, and they will be attracted to other women – that’s just human nature. But there’s a difference between simply looking at another woman and publicly declaring that you’re looking at a social outlet.

I left her office with a sense of relief. I wasn’t paranoid, and yeah, it’s pretty dodgy that my guy kept appreciating my friends’ thirst quenching.

Needless to say, the relationship didn’t work out (surprise) and I learned to trust my instincts more.

But this week I discovered a new way in which men exhibit their brutally perverted behavior while managing not to upset their partners.

Yes, it turns out that men are starting finstas (fake instas) to follow hot women on Instagram without their partner finding out.

I discovered it after I had some obviously fake Instagram accounts following me and I couldn’t figure out why.

It wasn’t until I started digging deep into these accounts that I discovered that they are all fake accounts set up by men who clearly don’t want their partners to see that they are following other women.

Here’s an example of one of them. As you can see, they don’t use a profile picture, they have hardly any followers, and if you look at who they follow, they all seem to be women!

This sneaky tactic means guys can still get a cheeky look at hotties while avoiding the whole “no, I don’t even follow her on Instagram” dilemma.

Now I’m about to throw a bit of a plot twist here… I don’t hate it.

See, at least this way partners aren’t subjected to the pain of seeing their man thirsty for other women… and no girl in her right mind is going to respond to a creepy DM from an obviously fake Instagram. So I guess it can’t really hurt.

Just like men watch porn when we’re not home (sorry ladies…it’s true.) I guess I don’t have a problem with them checking out hot girls on Instagram. Just don’t make a public statement by doing so based on their own real profiles.

Nevertheless, oh how I long for the days of the cavemen, when the only drama we women had to deal with was preparing the wildebeest our husbands dragged into the cave for dinner. Not which hottie our man is currently lusting after. Can we go back to that time?