Is Taylor Swift singing about ‘eldest daughter syndrome’? Women claim pop stars’ songs highlight the eight symptoms of being a firstborn

Many of Taylor Swift’s lyrics are touted as “eldest daughter songs” because the songs address the intense pressures women have faced as firstborns.

Although not really a diagnosable condition, “eldest daughter syndrome” has become a major topic on social media after a therapist shared symptoms of the “disorder,” including people-pleasing and struggling with anxiety.

Certified family and marriage therapist Kati Morton described the syndrome as the pressure and responsibilities placed on a family’s firstborn daughter.

Many TikTok users believe the “symptoms” can be heard in Swift’s songs like “I Can Do It With a Broken Heart” on The Tortured Poets Department album and Midnight’s “You’re losing me.”

Although the pop star has never confirmed that she suffers from the ‘disorder’, she is the eldest sibling – her brother Austin is two years younger.

In “I Can Do It With a Broken Heart,” Taylor sings, “Because I’m a really tough kid, I can handle my problems. They said, ‘Honey, you gotta fake it ’til you make it’ and I did.”

In “I Can Do It With a Broken Heart,” Taylor sings, “Because I’m a really tough kid, I can handle my problems. They said, ‘Honey, you gotta fake it ’til you make it,’ and I did that.”

And the lyrics of “You’re Losing Me” include: “I gave you all my best self, my endless empathy. And all I did was bleed trying to be the bravest soldier.”

Firstborn daughters may find themselves “responsible for more housework and held to a higher standard than their siblings,” Morton shared. Health.

The symptoms highlighted by Morton included feeling an intense sense of responsibility for others, a tendency to overachieve, difficulty with anxiety, people pleasing and setting boundaries, feelings of guilt, difficulty with adult relationships, and feelings of to have a grudge. towards your brothers and sisters and parents.

Laurie Kramer, a professor of applied psychology at Northeastern University, has also joined the conversation, noting that when she hears “eldest daughter syndrome,” she thinks of “families where we’ve just unintentionally burdened certain individuals.”

“This is happening all over the world, but we haven’t really paid attention to the costs of it,” Kramer continued.

‘If a brother or sister provides a lot of care to other brothers and sisters or parents, this entails costs.’

Kramer said research shows that firstborn/older girls are often asked to take on a caretaker role for their younger siblings, sometimes as early as five years old.

Although Swift has never confirmed that she suffers from the ‘syndrome’, she is the eldest sibling – her brother Austin is two years younger

A study published in the Canadian Journal of Family and Youth found that while young siblings have higher levels of resourcefulness than their peers, they tend to prioritize the needs of others over their own.

One interviewee, 15 years old, in the study said: ‘I prefer to stay at home and spend time with her because she is not able to do those things and create those bonds and friendships with those people, so sometimes we more or less the only people who have them.’

Kramer echoed the findings, saying that older daughters are socialized to take on more responsibilities and to learn to deal more conscientiously with the needs of others.

According to the professor, the extra responsibility can also lead to withdrawal among the female brother or sister.

But those feelings apply not only to the parents, but also to other siblings who did not end up in the role.

“For many eldest daughters, this ultimately determines their personality and relationships outside the family,” Kramer explains.

While the ‘eldest daughter syndrome’ is currently making waves, the eldest son of a family cannot avoid taking on more responsibility.

But theirs involves providing more financial support than emotional or mental ones, Kramer said, noting that the son’s contributions tend to get more recognition, while housework and caregiving are often overlooked.

“For example, if there is a family business, such matters are traditionally passed on to the eldest sons,” says Kramer.

‘The eldest daughters in some families are expected to be the ones who bring people together, to be that emotional source of support and… we don’t tend to explicitly value much of what they do. It’s invisible.’

But this kind of dynamic between an older sister and her siblings and parents does not come naturally.

Kramer said other factors play a role in establishing a family dynamic. These include the age difference between siblings, how well the siblings get along and treat each other, and whether there is a family member with a medical condition that makes them need more attention.

“It’s very important that we don’t look at this as a horoscope,” Kramer said.

‘Families really are very different and sometimes parents are very aware of the impact of assigning such roles to their children. … What goes deeper is really looking at the roles of individuals and siblings within the family and understanding that we can’t just assign a role to someone based on birth order.”