Is it inappropriate to ask for cash instead of birthday gifts? Mum’s party request divides parents
Mum provokes discussion by asking for money instead of presents at her daughter’s fifth birthday party – but many claim it’s ‘completely fair’
- Mom asks guests for money for her child’s birthday
- She said she would rather buy something her child wants
- The proposal has caused quite a stir among parents
A mother has split opinion after asking guests at her child’s birthday party to contribute money instead of buying a gift.
The Sydney woman said she would rather make a monetary contribution so she can buy her four-year-old daughter something she really wants, rather than getting “a huge amount of toys.”
Parents thought the “rude request” went against proper party etiquette and would make the invitees “uncomfortable.”
However, not everyone thought it was a bad idea to ask for cash and said they’d rather put a ‘five’ on a card than look for a present.
“My four-year-old is turning five soon and we are planning a birthday party for her. Is it okay to mention in the invitation that we prefer cash contributions to gifts?’ the mother asked in a message.
A mother has caused a stir among parents after asking if it was appropriate to ask guests at her daughter’s birthday party to contribute cash instead of buying her gifts
“The idea is to compile and then have her shop for a gift of her choice. We just live in a two-bedroom apartment, so we don’t really have room for a lot of toys.”
She asked if other mothers had ever done the same for their children’s birthdays and for advice on how to politely ask for money without offending guests.
But many were quick to dismiss the suggestion, arguing it would put parents in an “awkward position” as they tried to figure out how much to contribute.
“Personally I think it’s a bit rude and asking for cash can make people feel uncomfortable,” said one woman.
‘This is difficult, especially if it’s a nursery/school friend you don’t know very well. What is acceptable? I also think part of the joy at their age is opening the gifts and it’s a surprise,” a second commented.
The Sydney woman said she would rather make cash contributions so she can buy her four-year-old daughter something she really wants, rather than getting “a huge amount of toys.”
“It’s rude unless you specify a low amount they should give,” a third agreed, and another said, “I’d find it a bit off-putting.”
One mom said she’d never heard of a request for cash outside of weddings, while another suggested the woman invite a smaller group of people if she didn’t want too many toys.
Some did not think it was inappropriate to ask for money, but suggested a less “clumsy” approach.
“Definitely put some specificity around the dollar amount, like $5-$10 or something and say it’s going to buy her a gift,” advised one member.
“We were invited to a party that said ‘no gifts in boxes’. Everyone gave a gift card or cash,” a second recalled, and a third added, “You could set up a registry or a wishing well to make it easier for people to decide how much to spend.”
Someone said they once had a “no plastic rule” on presents and books and puzzles, while another suggested asking for experiences, such as movie tickets, zoo passes, or indoor play sessions.
Others, however, were fully behind the mother’s money, saying it “reduces waste” and prevents children from receiving unwanted or duplicate gifts.
“I love cash for presents so much. They get so much junk that they rarely play with that they can only choose one decent gift that they will appreciate,” said one woman.
“We asked for cash instead of a gift for our daughter and used this money for her swim/dance lessons instead. We were moving and expecting a baby so the ‘stuff’ wouldn’t have been appreciated,” added another.
“I don’t see anything wrong with asking for money instead of gifts. Makes it easier for parents to gift the child!’ a third wrote.