There was a man defended after taking to Reddit’s ‘Am I The A******’ thread to find out if it’s reasonable, he doesn’t want to ‘sacrifice’ his hobbies in order to take care of his stepdaughter.
The 38-year-old explained that he and his wife Jane, 34, have been together for five years and she also brought into his life a nine-year-old stepdaughter named Emily.
The pair look after her for four days a week, Monday to Thursday, then she is with her father from Friday to Sunday.
He wrote: ‘From the beginning, Jane told me that Emily doesn’t need a second father figure as she has her own father to fulfill that role.
“I was supposed to be a trusted authority figure in case she needed anything” – something he “didn’t mind” as her father is a “good father”.
A man is defending himself after taking to the ‘Am I The A******’ thread on Reddit to find out if it’s reasonable that he doesn’t want to ‘sacrifice’ his hobbies in order to care for his step-daughter.
He explained that Emily’s father recently got married and his wife has two of her own children, who Emily doesn’t get on with – ‘they’re always fighting and it’s very toxic’.
Adding ‘Emily’s father asked Jane if they would change the custody schedule to accommodate his stepchildren’ to keep the children apart.
“It’s not a big deal in itself because we don’t live far from each other so pick and drop isn’t a problem and she can easily be dropped off at school no matter where she is – the point is my wife agreed. without consulting me.
“Jane is currently doing a certification course for the next 12 months and they have classes on Saturdays from 9-5pm.
“She asked if I could babysit Emily on Saturdays, but I can’t because I play golf with my brother and sister on Saturday mornings from 8am to 1pm.
“This has been our tradition since before Jane and Emily came into my life and I told Jane long ago that this is important to me and my siblings.
“She asked me if I could go on another day, but that’s not possible because my siblings also have jobs and families of their own, so Saturday was the best day for us.
“I told her she can hire a nanny, but she doesn’t want to spend money when I can do it for free.
He explained that he, 38, and his wife Jane, 34, have been together for five years and she also brought into his life a nine-year-old stepdaughter called Emily.
“I told him that wasn’t going to work for me. Then she got mad and said golf is stupid and I should put my stepmom over my siblings.
‘She pushed me away so I told her I’m not going to sacrifice my hobby just so she can get a free nanny.
He concluded “For the record, I have nothing against Emily. I’ve babysat her before and she’s a good baby.
If there was a family emergency or if it was a fluke, then yes, I would cancel golf for the day to take care of him, but I can’t give up something so important to me for 12 continuous months.
She called me a selfish a****** and slept on the couch last night. So AITA?’
Other Redditors were quick to defend the stepson, writing ‘You are definitely NTA. You said in another comment that you have money to pay for childcare, but your wife just doesn’t want to spend it. Your wife is refusing to compromise at all’.
Another said ‘NTA. Your wife can’t say her daughter doesn’t need you as a stepfather, but then expect you to be the stepfather every Saturday when she needs you.
Other Redditors were quick to defend the stepson, writing ‘You are definitely NTA. You said in another comment that you have money to pay for childcare, but your wife just doesn’t want to spend it. Your wife is refusing to compromise at all’
‘She can hire a nanny. Dad and stepmom also need to raise her and work on the relationship between the new stepbrothers and get it under control because there will be times when they will all be together in the same house, that’s just life. ‘
Someone else wrote ‘I was about to read this and call you dirty but this is really an AH move from your wife.
‘I think it’s totally fair for her to ask you to help, but to accept without talking to you and assume you’re going to keep doing it is outrageous! Why did she agree and then work to get you behind?!
“It’s also interesting that now that your wife needs your help, Emily is your ‘step-daughter’, where it seems like there was a clear line that you’re not a father figure.
“If your wife wants to recast your role for Emily, fine, but it shouldn’t be because she needs a babysitter.”
One user suggested a compromise, adding: “Sounds like this is something that should have been worked out more carefully as a family before agreeing to.
“Is it possible for the stepfather/stepmother to change their children’s schedule as well?” That way they have it when Jane is busy with certification courses.
‘Is there a kids class or something like that where you go for golf? It may help to integrate the two if the schedule change is not possible.’
However, the original poster came back with “there isn’t and even if there is, it will likely have to be paid.” My wife does not want any money spent on Emily’s care. She just wants me to do it for free.’
(tagsTranslate)dailymail(s)female(s)Reddit