I’m getting the ‘ick’ because I have to pay for everything with my boyfriend

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A woman has sparked a debate online after admitting that her partner disgusts her because he allows her to pay for everything because of his higher salary.

Taking the British breeding platform momsnetthe unnamed woman explained that her current partner earns £25,000 a year; however, she earns four times that amount.

After admitting that he previously returned from financial ruin, he said he wants things to be split halfway between the couple “or at least on the right track”, however that hasn’t been the case so far.

Many were quick to comment with some stating that she should “end the relationship” because he is “using” her, while others said she shouldn’t “look down on him” for making less money.

A woman has sparked a debate on Mumsnet after admitting that her partner disgusts her because he allows her to pay for everything due to his higher salary (file image)

The woman explained: ‘DP (dear couple) and I have been together for about 8 months, we were friends for about a year before we were in a relationship.

“We met through work and we clicked immediately. She had left ExH (ex-husband) six months before meeting him. I have a DD (dear daughter) who is 3.5. ExH was financially abusive and contributes a minimal amount to her life.

“At first I didn’t like DP, he wasn’t my type on paper and I really saw us as friends, but the more I got to know him, the more attractive he seemed to me.

‘My main concern before we got together, which we discussed at length before anything happened, was money and finances.

Taking the British parenting platform, the anonymous woman explained that her partner earns £25,000 a year, while she earns four times that amount.

‘I’m 10 years into my career, I’m a senior manager and a high earner. He retrained for his position and took a pay cut.

“He has the potential to be where I am in about 3-5 years. I told him that in order for us to realistically work long-term, he needs to earn more.

‘He is currently earning £25k. I earn about 4 times that. We both work in a commission based environment and he has the opportunity to make some good money fairly quickly but it takes putting in hours/graft to be successful.

“At first, I pushed him and he was working harder to make money and succeed, however, the further we go in our relationship, he is not, in my opinion, [In My Opinion] doing what it takes to be successful in this industry.

‘He’s on a minimum disposal income and naturally I’m footing the tab for 99 per cent of things, including paying for a vacation, paying for all the meals, he’s always going to stay on mine.

Many took to the comments to say that she should end the relationship and suggested that he is probably using her.

“I’ve even paid for lunches with his parents, yet noticing his work ethic fading, I’m starting to get sick.

“He really is the loveliest and kindest person, he is fantastic with my daughter, all my friends and family love him and I really can’t rate him highly enough, however I have worked so hard to recover from financial ruin after my ex and I need things to be 50:50 or at least on the way to being.

We’ve had a conversation about this and he agrees with me/has promised to do more and in his defense, but I can’t help but feel less attracted to him because of this.

‘What would you do in this situation? The head is saying final things. My heart begs me to give it a chance.

Many took to the comments to say that she should end the relationship because he is probably using her.

One person wrote: ‘Unfortunately you will have to end this. I would be totally discouraged. Like you, I work incredibly hard and hope people motivate themselves. Just be nice but say this isn’t working.

Meanwhile, others said she shouldn’t ‘look down’ on the guy for making less money than she does and that she doesn’t ‘respect’ him.

He might beg you to reconsider (yuck), but hold your ground. Do you know those successful young people at work? You can clearly see that they are hungry for money and business and the hunger comes from within them.’

Another said: ‘I think it’s more than just ‘gross her’. Sounds like a bit of a user. Just because it’s “nice” doesn’t mean it’s good enough for you.

Meanwhile, others said she shouldn’t ‘sneer’ at the boy for making less money than she does.

One person wrote: ‘If I were him I would leave you. Go find someone who makes more money if that’s all you care about.

‘I couldn’t bear to be in a relationship where the other person puts me down…he’s even made the effort with your son too.’

Another wrote: ‘I don’t understand why you started a relationship with someone on a low salary when money is so important to you.

‘Let him go to work at his own pace, and go find a man with 100k instead. You are not being fair.

Someone else commented: ‘I think you should finish it yourself. You don’t respect it and it will only get worse.

“Let him go and he can find someone nice and less ambitious before this turns into an acrimonious separation that will negatively affect both of you finding a more suitable partner.”

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