I’m Furious After The Other Moms At School Didn’t Invite Me To Lunch – People Tell Me To Get Over It But It’s Crushing
A parent has sparked fierce debate online after admitting she was “crushed” when she wasn’t invited to lunch with other moms from the school.
The anonymous woman posted a message on the British parenting forum Mumsnet to ask for advice about feeling left out.
She wrote, “My daughter only has 12 in her class so it probably bothers me more than if she had 30 kids.
‘We have a class WhatsApp group, everyone is friendly and nice, we all get along, no problems at all.
“Today at pick up I saw about six or seven of the other moms walking back together from lunch/drinks.
The anonymous woman posted to UK parenting forum Mumsnet seeking advice on feeling left out
‘I wasn’t invited. I said hello to them all as I normally would, but I felt absolutely crushed that they hadn’t thought of inviting me.
‘I’m not particularly sociable, but always nice and talkative when I see them. Am I unreasonable to think this was a little mean of them?’
Users asked the woman why she thought she was entitled to an invitation and went on to tell her that “life isn’t fair.”
One wrote: ‘Why would they invite you? You are not friendly to them. It sounds like not all the other moms were invited too.
“I understand with the kids that it’s really mean to be left out in certain situations, but as adults—especially at the school gate—who cares?”
Another said, ‘Of course it’s not mean of them. It’s fine to go for lunch with friends; you don’t have to bring every parent from your children’s class.’
A third wrote: ‘Life isn’t fair, deal with it. Not everyone will like you, you are not entitled to anything.’
A fourth commented, ‘They may well all be friends, and by the way, they weren’t all mothers.
The anonymous woman took to UK parenting forum Mumsnet to talk about how she felt it was mean that the other mums hadn’t invited her out
“You said yourself you’re not particularly social, so why would they ask you to lunch? It’s certainly not worth feeling “crushed” about.’
Another wrote: ‘Don’t be one of those who want to be everywhere. That’s a surefire way to annoy people.
“Maybe they’re all friends. It wasn’t like every mom was asked except you.”
But the original poster then wrote a comment, saying she thought other users were being too harsh.
The anonymous mother said, “Blimey, nasty comments are being made here. Maybe I expect too much from people.
Some Mumsnet users told the woman she was not ‘entitled’ to anything and is not expected to invite everyone
“I’d like to think people were kind and cared about other people’s feelings. Some of these comments suggest that this is not the case!’
But others were more sympathetic to the woman.
One user wrote: ‘Whoa. Lots of really hard posts here. OP (original poster) – try not to take it to heart.
“I’m in a similar situation in terms of class size and don’t invite everyone when I have social gatherings — but not because I don’t like them — more that some of us know each other better from kindergarten.”
The woman wrote a second response to her post expressing her opinion about the ‘nasty’ comments she had received
Some posters were more supportive of the woman and were shocked by other users’ comments
Another person shared his own experience trying to join a group of moms saying, “It sounds like you’re in the same boat as me – nothing you can do unless you want to work your way into the group .
‘It sucks, right? Moving in the summer. I’ve given up trying with this group.”
A third wrote: ‘Ignore some of the replies to this (original poster), typical Mumsnet, no one should be mad about anything.
“I’d be angry too if it were me. Hard to judge if they were mean, it’s possible it started with a few friends and they asked a few more and it grew into something bigger.
“I think if more than half of the mothers are going, it would be nice if they put it on WhatsApp and invite the rest of the mothers.”