I’m an expert at spotting narcissists — here are five ‘dark psychology’ tricks to watch out for when dating

An expert warns singles about the ‘dark psychology’ tricks narcissists use to win you over and trap you.

Dr. Annie Wright, a specialist in relationship trauma, revealed five tricks these people use to get what they want without their partner realizing they are being manipulated.

These signs may include someone going too far with their affection, creating situations that provoke jealousy, and isolating you from other relationships.

Wright advises that if you know what warning signs to look for, you can learn when it’s time to cut your losses and run.

Dr. Wright has been a therapist for 12 years and uses her own experiences with relational trauma to “help adult children of parents with mood and personality disorders overcome their painful pasts.”

She said that people use psychological techniques to manipulate or deceive their partners so that they can get what they want in the relationship faster.

These individuals manipulate, provoke guilt, and use affection to make their partner think he/she is doing something he/she wants.

“But what you’re doing is fundamentally not getting what you want, which is a relationship based on trust and reciprocity,” Dr. Wright said. Business insider.

1. They go overboard with their affection

When you enter into a love bombing relationship, you will find that your partner showers you with love, care and compliments.

The person will shower you with excessive attention and affection early and often to gain your trust and dependency, Wright says.

“The love bomber may seem like the perfect match, but in reality they are creating a false environment to show that they are the right person for you,” Tinder relationship expert Devyn Simone told me. Cosmopolitan.

For example, this could involve planning extravagant outings, sending endless sweet messages and flowers a few days after meeting someone, or declaring your love for him or her after just a few weeks.

If you and your partner are already calling each other “soul mates,” “your person,” or “your significant other” after two weeks, these may be signs of a National Domestic Violence Helpline.

2. Your partner will gradually belittle you

Another dark psychological trick is to belittle you with subtle comments that may seem helpful, but in reality are tearing you down bit by bit.

This is also called negging. It is a manipulative tactic to undermine someone’s self-confidence. The person is forced to seek validation with comments like: ‘You’re really pretty for someone who doesn’t take care of herself.’

The initial feeling of being put on a pedestal quickly disappears when your partner makes suggestions, such as that you should go to the gym or improve your appearance in some other way.

This can seriously damage your physical and mental health, Dr. Wright warned in an interview with Insider: “It’s a basic human need to feel connected.

“When something happens that threatens that attachment, we try to regain that attachment.”

3. They isolate you from your friends and family

If your partner demands that you spend time alone together instead of going out with friends or meeting your family, it could be a sign of dark psychology, Dr. Wright warned.

By isolating you from other relationships, your partner has more power and control over the relationship. He or she uses the isolation to undermine your life and identity outside of the relationship and create a sense of dependency.

4. Create situations that arouse jealousy

Manipulators love to “introduce a third party into the relationship dynamic to create jealousy and competition,” Dr. Wright told Insider.

The dark manipulator may suggest how attractive the other person is, suggest that his or her partner is not good enough, or create a sense of jealousy that makes him or her feel like he or she is not good enough.

According to Dr. Wright, this is a tactic that makes people “feel insecure and want to prove their worth.”

5. They often ‘gaslight’ you

Gaslighting is when someone starts to doubt the validity of their arguments. For example, they may wonder whether they remembered the conversations or events correctly.

It causes the person to become disoriented and question everything they thought they knew about a situation, thereby giving control to the abuser.

“When you’re off balance and disoriented, you may be more susceptible to other seeds or agendas being planted,” Wright told Insider.

Gaslighting behavior can include lying about what happened by telling you that “you’re crazy” or “making things up.” It can also minimize your thoughts and feelings by saying “you’re exaggerating” or asking “why are you so sensitive?”

It’s important to distinguish between someone who is gaslighting you and someone who simply remembers an event differently.

According to Dr. Wright, you can tell the difference in someone who isn’t gaslighting. Think about whether the person is willing to listen to your perspective and admit when they’re wrong.

How to Get Out of a ‘Dark Psychology’ Relationship

It can be difficult to leave an abuser who uses dark psychology because he binds his victims to him by forcing them to seek recognition and approval.

If this happens, you should take certain steps to protect yourself. For example, you can educate yourself about manipulation, set clear boundaries with your partner, or seek help from a therapist.

“Good relationships feel good,” psychologist Dr. Alaina Tiani told Cleveland Health Clinic.

“If it feels too good to be true, that’s probably an indication that something is going on. It’s important that when those feelings come up, you tune into them instead of pushing them aside.”

If you’re looking for a way out but don’t know how, the National Domestic Violence Hotline encourages people to reach out for help whenever they need it by calling 1-800-799-7233.