I’m a therapist – here are three disrespectful phrases that seem healthy
DO YOU miss hidden red flags in your relationship? Therapist reveals three statements that ‘sound healthy’ when said by a partner – but are actually a sign of serious ‘disrespect’
- Jeff Guenther has become a TikTok sensation by sharing his relationship advice
- He recently revealed the phrases you should never say to a loved one
- The therapist, from Portland, Oregon, warned that they show signs of disrespect
A therapist has revealed the three statements you should never say to a loved one.
Jeff Guenther, from Portland, Oregon, has become a viral sensation on TikTok for regularly sharing his relationship expertise.
Most recently, he posted a video for his 2.6 million followers describing the stages that everyone thinks are healthy, but are actually “f***ed up.”
The love specialist explained that while these statements may come from a well-intentioned place, they can often show signs of disrespect in relationships.
Jeff Guenther, from Portland, Oregon, has become a viral sensation on TikTok for regularly sharing his relationship expertise
He recently revealed the three statements you should never say to a loved one – including ‘Your feelings are not my responsibility’
He uploaded the viral clip, which has garnered more than 390,000 views to date, along with a caption that read, “Three sayings that sound sane, but I think they’re kind of fucked up.”
The first statement the therapist examined was, “Your feelings are not my responsibility.”
He explained that while this is partially true, it shows that someone isn’t really willing to consider you.
“Why aren’t you willing to think about the impact you’re having on my experience?” he wondered.
The therapist continued by noting that while many things will affect your feelings, most of the time your other half will play a role.
“Especially when you’re my partner who has a significant effect on me, saying you feel like you lack empathy, don’t know how to take responsibility, aren’t interested in emotional growth, are super dismissive, want to create distance and am kind of crappy about being in a relationship,” he said.
The next statement the therapist disapproves of is, “I’m just being honest.”
He explains, “Or are you just super critical and want to make me feel bad, and are bad at giving feedback in a caring and compassionate way.”
The other two statements the therapist disagrees with are “I’m just being honest” and “If you loved me, you would understand/accept this about me”
The therapist said that while this may seem like someone is being “straightforward and direct,” it is also a sign that the person is disregarding your feelings and has a “lack of empathy.”
He added that someone who precedes something with “I’m just being honest” would rather be “right” than consider your emotions.
Last, but certainly not least, Jeff reveals, “Number Three: “If you loved me, you would understand/accept this from me.”‘
Jeff explained that while “acceptance and love go together,” it can be “manipulative” to argue that someone who loves you should accept everything.
“It sets the mood that I want to avoid taking responsibility for harmful behavior or pressure me into doing something that makes me super uncomfortable.
“Saying this makes me feel like you’re not concerned with personal growth. You’re trying to make me feel guilty and that your love is contingent on me accepting something about you that I don’t agree with,” he concluded.