I’m A Therapist And This Is How To Deal With A “Mean Girl” In 3 Steps And Make Her Wish She Never Talked To You
A dating and relationship therapist shares three psychological tips for dealing with a “mean girl.”
Dr. Kimberly Moffit, who goes by Ask Kimberly online, said the tricks could be used on a person or “fake friend” who talks behind your back.
The therapist told you not to talk about the “mean girl” with mutual friends, to put aside your anger for her, and to have a one-on-one conversation if all else fails.
Dr. Kimberly said the techniques will make the “mean girls” walk away “with her tail between her legs” and “wish she never spoke to you.”
“Have you ever dealt with a mean girl? Like nasty, talk behind your back or maybe she’s a friend who you know isn’t really rooting for you,” the 40-year-old from Canada asked.
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Couples therapist Dr Kimberly Moffit (pictured) has shared three psychological tricks for dealing with a ‘mean girl’ who talks behind your back to ‘put them in their place’
She said she has three ways people can put a classic mean girl “in her place,” which she says is “the most satisfying thing in the world.”
“What most people do when they find out a mean girl is talking badly to them is they go hang out and talk to their mutual fiends to tell them that this girl isn’t really nice, she’s mean,” explained Dr. Kimberley out.
“It’s perfectly normal to want to share what this person’s true colors are so everyone knows what they’re really like, but you’re not going to do that.”
Instead, Dr. Kimberly recommends keeping the woman’s name out of your mouth and not mentioning her at all.
“From a psychological perspective, a girl actually demeans herself when she speaks badly of another girl, which makes her seem less attractive,” she said.
The relationship guru said her second trick is where most people fail, as she suggests curbing your anger towards the person you suspect is talking behind your back.
“If you have a mean girl in your life, every (social media) post she makes will really annoy you,” she said.
“The emotion of anger takes away your power and negotiation, which means that if you are angry with her in future dealings, she has already won.”
Third, Dr. Kimberly said they should take the person away from their friends to have a one-on-one conversation to address the issue.
“The reason mean girls are mean is that no one around them really hangs out with them. Her friends will hug her toes, worried about what will happen if they upset her,” she said.
“You’re going to isolate the mean girl from her friends and have a direct sincere one-on-one conversation. This will shock her as she is not used to it and this is the point where she usually withdraws.’
Dr. Kimberly shared the hacks with her 2 million TikTok followers in one video that collected more than 642,600 times.
‘Yes! Actually, I’m done with all the mean girls in my life. I already canceled them,” said one viewer.
“I really needed to hear this advice today,” another replied.
‘It all makes sense. Mean people hate outspoken people, truth tellers,” a third wrote.
Others had their own tactics for dealing with nasty people, with one woman saying, “I had a mean girl I used to work with. I just backed off until everyone saw for themselves.’
‘No – do you know why? Because I immediately cut them off and called them out,” added another.