I’m a sex therapist – here’s how long intercourse should actually last

A range of sex therapists and doctors have revealed how long sex should actually last – and the average length is shorter than some might think.

Dr. Sonya Maya, a psychologist specializing in sexual problems, from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, talked about the duration of intercourse on TikTok, and it left many people on the Internet baffled.

According to Sonya, it only takes a few minutes for most men to come.

‘How tall is a man on average? Three to nine minutes before pop goes the weasel,” she said in her video.

‘If you look at it from an evolutionary perspective, ejaculating quickly can be seen as a good thing for the efficient distribution of sperm.’

She added that many men worry that they will experience ‘premature ejaculation’ (PE) if they come within five minutes, but it is actually completely normal.

“The actual definition of premature ejaculation ends in a minute or less,” she explained. “And it has to cause you stress before it can be considered PE.”

According to a 2008 questionnaireparticipants said sex that lasted seven to 13 minutes was the most “desirable.” This did not include foreplay, only intercourse.

The National Health Institution reported in 2019 that it took an average of five to seven minutes for a man to reach orgasm, while a 2020 man questionnaire found it took women about 13 minutes.

Some social media users were surprised by Sonya’s revelation and took to the comments section to share their thoughts.

‘THAT’S THE AVERAGE?’ someone asked. “Boys have to learn that it’s not a marathon.”

“This is why I love toys,” someone else joked.

Clarissa Guerrero, a certified nurse from Texas, also spoke about the topic on TikTok in January.

She pointed out that “everyone is different,” so what “is normal for one person may be very different for another.”

“In general, however, most men reach climax between five to 20 minutes after they begin intercourse,” she said.

‘Foreplay can significantly add to the time you spend intimately, and this is just an average. There will always be outliers.

‘Some couples may find that they can last an hour or more of intercourse without either partner reaching orgasm.

‘However, only 50 percent of the boys can’t even last two minutes.’

She pointed out that a range of “psychological and biological factors” such as “age, health and hormone levels” can contribute to how quickly someone reaches orgasm.

In 2021, Rena Malik, a urologist and pelvic surgeon from Newport Beach, California, explained that people’s expectations of how long sex will last are usually much higher than the actual duration.

She analyzed facts collected from 500 couples around the world in 2009, who were asked to time themselves from ‘initial penetration’ to ‘ejaculation’. And according to the study, the average length was 5.7 minutes.

Some participants even admitted that their intercourse lasted less than a minute.

‘What they found was that their average length was 5.7 minutes. That’s it,” Rena explained in a video shared on her YouTube account.

‘There was a range from 0.1 minutes to around 55 minutes and interestingly this varied by location.

‘Turkey had the lowest average of 4.4 minutes and Britain the longest average of around 10 minutes.’

The doctor explained that there is a perception that the ‘ideal penetration time’ should be long, and that society has placed ‘a lot of value’ on this number – but she hopes that talking about it can take some of the ‘pressure’ off . .’

“In modern society, we spend a lot of time glorifying what sex should look like and how long it should last and place a lot of value on that,” she said.

‘But ultimately all this pressure can have a really damaging impact on our lives. What you hear about sex is not always correct, especially not how long someone can last in bed.’

Ultimately, she said the most important thing is to “communicate with your partner” about what you both “like during intercourse.”

“It’s different for every person and to have a satisfying sex life it’s important to communicate and always be open,” she concluded.

‘It varies per person, I wouldn’t pay too much attention to the numbers… The most important thing is that you and your partner are satisfied.

‘If you and your partner suffer from premature ejaculation or delayed ejaculation, make an appointment with your urologist.’